cathylynn wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
-5 I slept terribly last night and braved the mall for some Christmas shopping. Buried my crested gecko earlier in the day. Still deciding what to do about my future. Do I push myself to get a job and deal with moving out of my parents' house for the first time and all that comes with it while also holding a job? Do I plunge into the deep end and try living on my own with minimal assistance (really only financial assistance from my parents, plus the ability to call them any time to ask for advice)? Do I just continue doing the same thing I've been doing (that is, pretty much nothing) and hope to eventually find something that suits my needs and will actually help me? I need to decide what I'm doing by early January, or it will default to the last option.
have you changed in any way that makes you think you'd be better able to tolerate a job? if not, maybe eliminate that choice from the list.
I've had TMS that seems to have improved my depression, eased my self-harm, and eliminated my suicidal thoughts. The real question is, is my condition improved enough that I can handle a job, or will trying to work just put me back where I was? Unfortunately there's not really a way to answer that question besides try it and see. Maybe if I get a job coach, that can help ease me into it, as well as help me actually get a job in the first place.
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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"