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scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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AprilR
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19 Feb 2020, 12:17 pm

1 maybe. I don't know what i feel. I just want a connection with someone.



dragonsanddemons
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19 Feb 2020, 3:05 pm

AnneOleson wrote:
dragonsanddemons wrote:
-9.5 Don't know why my mood's decreasing, but it is. I'd be thinking about going back to the hospital, but I doubt it would do any good. I guess this means we can add Prozac to the ever-growing list of medications that don't help me.

Hi! I’ve been taking antidepressants for about forty years 8O and have changed types many times. For about a year now I’ve been taking Viibryd (in Canada). It’s working better than any other that I can remember. It’s good for major depression and anxiety. Maybe it could help you. Not been in the depths of despair too often now.


Thank you, I'll look that up and mention it to my psychiatrist the next time I see her.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


dragonsanddemons
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19 Feb 2020, 3:09 pm

-8 Depression's still really bad, and I'm still experiencing what my psychiatrist agreed are probably withdrawal effects from my Effexor dose being lowered so much at once. She prescribed a higher dose for two weeks to try to help me taper down, but I don't get that until tomorrow. Plus I woke up at around 2 this morning and didn't get back to sleep at all, so I'm really tired.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


blooiejagwa
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19 Feb 2020, 6:37 pm

3. Went from minus to plus.

My brother exists and Thats good. I have enough good ppl around me that I cant fall is what i keep telling myself.

The awful feelings come from the perception of dragging others down with me N wanting to avoid that but i hold on till something alerts me it is irrational and destructive thinking...

My ex H is nice to talk to though he doesnt know it. He still uplifts me when he is being decent...
as long as I just talk to him n keep it basic. I just like him too much.


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blooiejagwa
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19 Feb 2020, 6:39 pm

auntblabby wrote:
abe lincoln was a notably melancholy man, but he also thought "a man's about as happy as he makes up his mind to be." what a complex man to have both things going on in his brain at once. i strive to be like him at least in that respect. some days are stones but some days are cubic zirconia and are a bit prettier at least. :nerdy:


As usual, you wrote a very good post that is worth reading.


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20 Feb 2020, 12:00 am

AprilR wrote:
1 maybe. I don't know what i feel. I just want a connection with someone.

be careful what you wish for. :idea:



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20 Feb 2020, 12:02 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
abe lincoln was a notably melancholy man, but he also thought "a man's about as happy as he makes up his mind to be." what a complex man to have both things going on in his brain at once. i strive to be like him at least in that respect. some days are stones but some days are cubic zirconia and are a bit prettier at least. :nerdy:


As usual, you wrote a very good post that is worth reading.

thank you BlooieJ :flower:



BottleCap2.0
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20 Feb 2020, 4:08 pm

+2. Hate getting up early and feeling so dang tired, but doing decent otherwise.

auntblabby wrote:
^^^welcome back BC :alien:

Thank you! :heart: I remember you and your avatar!

dragonsanddemons wrote:
-8 Depression's still really bad, and I'm still experiencing what my psychiatrist agreed are probably withdrawal effects from my Effexor dose being lowered so much at once. She prescribed a higher dose for two weeks to try to help me taper down, but I don't get that until tomorrow. Plus I woke up at around 2 this morning and didn't get back to sleep at all, so I'm really tired.

Finding the right medication and dose can be difficult, slow and frustrating. Please be careful lowering whatever you're taking. Sometimes, it can seem like we don't need as much medication because we can sometimes feel better, yet the tapering hits like a truck after only a few days.
I hope you see your psychiatrist again very soon and hope you feel better soon. :heart:



dragonsanddemons
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20 Feb 2020, 9:00 pm

-5 Depression isn't so bad, but I'm still experiencing the withdrawal effects from the Effexor (I took the higher dose today, but was told it may take a little bit for that to go away). My legs are very shaky today.


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Yet in my new wildness and freedom I almost welcome the bitterness of alienage. For although nepenthe has calmed me, I know always that I am an outsider; a stranger in this century and among those who are still men.
-H. P. Lovecraft, "The Outsider"


Kiprobalhato
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21 Feb 2020, 1:22 am

all the traditional medicines i tried for depressive symptoms either made me massively gluttonous or did nothing at all.





2


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וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


auntblabby
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21 Feb 2020, 1:48 am

3.1416 [IOW "rounded off"]



Kiprobalhato
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22 Feb 2020, 9:12 pm

-4


i literally am completely incapable of not obsessing over how lonely i (think i) am.


my thought patterns are too resilient


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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
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וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


auntblabby
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22 Feb 2020, 11:50 pm

^^^i wish i could somehow impart onto you just how hellish a bad relationship can be. such makes one rather be a hermit for the rest of one's life, than have anymore.



Kiprobalhato
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23 Feb 2020, 12:14 am

you see, part of me knows and understands that, another part doesn't

:shrug:

they battle one another and thankfully the latter part has taken over for now :oops:

so +3...this is a really good dinner


i just really want children....


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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.


auntblabby
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23 Feb 2020, 1:02 am

^^^"thankfully"? :scratch:



Kiprobalhato
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23 Feb 2020, 2:53 am

s**t. i meant the former


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הייתי צוללת עכשיו למים
הכי, הכי עמוקים
לא לשמוע כלום
לא לדעת כלום
וזה הכל אהובי, זה הכל.