scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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Ms. Dragon:

This depression you have is very serious and needs to be addressed. I have been in your shoes and it's very difficult to even get out of bed sometimes when I'm depressed. It feels like you will never feel happy again and it can be hard to see the good in life. However, just remember that you are not alone in this and if there is someone you can talk to over the phone or virtually; if there is a crisis line in your area, I strongly suggest that you call it and talk to whoever's on the other end. There are people that love you and care for you on this site-maybe your family,idk. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem and there are people who want to help you, just tell them you have AS. I'm praying for you.

I truly like Ms. Dragon....

She’s a good egg!

-10 (it is useless talking to NT's, they all argue from a point of belief rather than knowledge, making them useless in a conversation anyway)

+7. I feel more confident and content right now than I have in a long, long time.

-5 (confirmed, most people don't argue from a point of knowledge, rather from their own personal bias) (now I know it isn't me and my aspergers)

-3.

My mom keeps pointing out how naïve I am for trusting my ex. I'm just waiting for her to mention the time I offered to send him money so he didn't go homeless, because I will never hear the end of that. I don't even know if he really needed the money now. lol

6

-8 I’m incredibly jealous of those whose ASD is “mild” and/or actually got any benefits from it, insanely jealous of those who can call it anything but a disability. I get all the downsides without any of the perks. Simply living in a place I can call my own is a dream I’m unlikely to ever achieve, being able to support myself is about as close to impossible as things get. I really hate being autistic.

-7.
I've been pretty much derealizing all day and my ex contacting me to "apologize" made it worse. Everything he said means nothing to me coming from someone who had so little remorse before and I wish he didn't contact me.

Back at my typical 7.

9 I’m listening to soothing “Beach Sounds” care of Alexa ... feels like I’m back in Aus

-5 I had a crap day dealing with crap and crap people. I could just die right now. Ugh.

I'm jealous of anyone who can be wealthy and still have an ASD because they had skill or a savant skill that helped them succeed or they were able to go to college and get a degree and do a high pay job and be successful and not be poor. But sadly this makes them more prone to being ableists towards others on the spectrum who get disability benefits and stay home and play video games or whatever. I mean what do they expect people with disabilities to do who can't work or go to college and are stuck with low skilled jobs? Stare at the wall? If they were reading or just going to the gym they pay $10 a month for or even watching TV, still bigotry they would face because of how they live their lives.

"Meh" + 1 = 6

I’m one of the ones stuck at home basically doing nothing all day. I’ve even taken to just watching play-throughs of games online so I don’t have to spend money on the game, gaming gets pretty expensive too. I (barely) got a college degree (BS in biology), but it hasn’t done me one whit of good, back when I thought I stood a small chance of successfully working, the only jobs I ever managed to actually get after months of applying to multiple jobs a day (primarily the kind of crappy job “anyone” (except me, apparently) can get because no one wants to do them, because that’s what was available) were both part-time cleaning positions that were desperate for employees. Never even got an actual interview for anything (including the two jobs I lucked on to, one had an informational session beforehand and the other just had me come in to fill out some paperwork first, each had one day of training with another worker, and then right to work). The stress and stuff from the one that was so desperate my boss was asking me to work extra shifts every week without exception and asking me multiple times if I knew anyone else who would like a part-time job wreaked havoc on my already-not-so-great mental health, and I ended up in and out of the hospital for the following year (lost track of exactly how many stays of how long). I realize now that it also caused severe burnout, which I’m only just barely starting to recover from. I try and try, and it’s clear that my best always has been and always will be not good enough.

-8 (I figured out my autism after 6 years, now I understand that I will most likely never join society again)