scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

Post Reply New Topic

I went through crap with my mother when I was around your age.

I bet your sister-in-law will apologize tomorrow.

-8 (I don't fit in anywhere, even here at WP. But I am sure I am not the only one who feels that way)

6

At my typical 7.

-5 Momentarily got hopeful because I stumbled across something called “emotional deprivation disorder” and it’s basically describing me, but the only thing that seems to be of any use is to have someone who will love you and give you genuine affirmation and stuff, but I don’t want that at all because I’m not able to return the favor, feels extremely selfish to me. Any time anyone shows positive feelings about me, it just makes me feel guilty that I can’t feel the same about them. I can enjoy someone’s company, but that’s pretty much it. It’s not a choice on my part, and it also has nothing whatsoever to do with a lack of empathy (I actually seem to have far more empathy than many NTs). And that’s probably subconsciously why I’ve been isolating so much, only having very casual contact with anyone, because I don’t want anyone to feel close to me because I can’t reciprocate and can only hurt people that way, which I don’t want to do.

Also very much just wanting to die again. Or still. I guess the feeling’s always there, but sometimes it’s stronger than others. Don’t really want to get a COVID vaccine when I can because I don’t care if I get it and die, someone who does care should get the vaccine instead of me. Someone who isn’t going to spend the rest of their lives going through endless cycles of debilitating depression. Even when it lets up, I know it’s only a matter of time until the next one, and then there’s nothing to do then but wait it out, nothing at all seems to actually help any. The only cure is death.

But I have enough emotional dulling right now to keep me from feeling truly terrible. I guess that’s something?

I’m another who does not fit in anywhere at all, including WP.

I think you fit in well, actually.

You do deserve to enjoy people’s company—especially since you don’t harm others.

Why fit in within subforums like PPR? I don’t fit in there, and don’t want to.

WP is the land of misfits. We all fit, in our own way.

-4 (I can't sleep all of a sudden, but I finally figured out that NT's aren't quite as different from us as we might like to think)

-6
I couldn't even explain how I felt if I had a year worth of time. I just don't feel right about anything.

-6 (my mini insomnia is back, just when I finally got my head thinking clearer than it has in a couple years or so)

-9.5, Just wish I didn't exist anymore. Can't take it any longer.

Ten Thousand Million