Why does no one want me to have a relationship?

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Or well, I suppose the right way to do things would be to give you the options of either keeping your social security money yourself and leaving her house or let her do what she does now.

I don't know much about any laws in the USA, but I'm pretty sure no law says that a woman needs to take care of her 30+ year old son if she doesn't want to. She's letting you stay out of the goodness of her heart, so the least you can do is let her keep that small amount of money without whining, because it's highly likely that it's nothing compared to how much expenses you cause her.

I actually hope I'm misunderstanding something big time here and I'm so sorry if I am, but if I'm not...



Your mother is doing nothing wrong. Or well, I suppose the right way to do things would be to give you the options of either keeping your social security money yourself and leaving her house or let her do what she does now.

I don't know how much this kind of money is, but since you're able to work (even if it's part time) and you're not living on your own, I'm pretty sure it can't be a lot. I highly doubt it covers all the expenses you bring to the household, so letting your mother take the money for necessary expenses that you are causing is the least you can do. I mean if you weren't living in her house but on your own, you'd have to pay for rent, electricity, water, internet, all your food (since you said "foods that you like" I assume that she at least sometimes prepares food that you get to eat too), necessary stuff like toilet paper, tissues, laundry detergent etc. I'm sorry if I've misunderstood and you actually do pay your share of this stuff, but I've seen you say nothing that would imply such a thing. None of it is free you know, it doesn't just magically appear to your place, your mom actually has to pay for them. Also, please tell me you take part in the housework (preparing your own food and cleaning your own room does not count when you're already an adult.) Please tell me you don't leave all the dish washing, laundry, vacuuming, dusting, washing the floors etc. to her. You're an adult man; you need to pull your own weigh. I don't know much about any laws in the USA, but I'm pretty sure no law says that a woman needs to take care of her 30+ year old son if she doesn't want to. She's letting you stay out of the goodness of her heart, so the least you can do is let her keep that small amount of money without whining, because it's highly likely that it's nothing compared to how much expenses you cause her.

Again, if I read too much in to it and you actually do pay and do your fair share of the household expenses and chores then sorry for blowing up, but it really sounds like you don't.

Well in that case I apologize. Your message just made it sound like you don't. If what Antrax said is true then it's highly likely you get more on disability than what I earn from work. If you really get that much, it should be enough for independent living. Just demand it back from your mom and move out; if it's really that much you should easily be able to afford it.

Once again I see people putting energy into this situation with little change on the OP's part. You all can continue to do that, but other than making Marknis feel heard, I don't see any change happening any time soon. All the suggestions are along the same lines, and this has been going on at least a year, but probably closer to two or three. I sometimes wonder, in fact, if this attention Marknis gets is merely prolonging his entrapment in a dysfunctional situation.

Nothing will change until Marknis decides to take action. He likes certain things about his life well enough to keep on keeping on. He makes a little income with which he can buy music and such. He has a roof over his head and food to eat. He does have medical care and a therapist. He does have a car. He has a job which he claims to hate, but many people with autism would love to have a similar job. He has a gym he could go to, but complains about that, too.

I wish Marknis well, but I think there is little to be gained in continuing to offer him the same suggestions repeatedly. He knows what he needs to do. He just can't, or won't, do it. His life, his choice.

Like Bea, Mark I wish you the best. I also realize that people can't change for reasons others can't possibly understand. I don't blame you for this. Just hoping for a little awareness.

I would feel like I could change if things in life didn't feel like mind numbing slogs. Everything I've done feels like a static cycle.

I wish Marknis well, but I think there is little to be gained in continuing to offer him the same suggestions repeatedly. He knows what he needs to do. He just can't, or won't, do it. His life, his choice.

EDIT: Indecisive about what needs to be different.

I don't believe you and I do not know what I need to do.

EDIT: Indecisive about what needs to be different.

That's my experience too, but then again maybe you and I just aren't the kind of people who attract others to us... maybe we unknowingly send some wrong signal or don't send some signal that we should.
I too get told I'm too old to hang out with my sister (she's 19 and I'm 24) and her friends... well, on average the mentality between 19 year olds and 24 year olds is often a bit big... maybe I'm too childlike for my age? Of course, this goes for people in their early twenties and early thirties as well; normally people wouldn't consider them to have much in common unless they work or study together... or share the same hobby.
As for the dating part, depends on the culture I suppose. It certainly would be frowned upon here, but our president has a wife 15 years younger than him so it's not a complete taboo... then again, even the wife is in her forties so it's different. I'd still say you should aim for women closer to your age though; most women aren't that fond of attention from older men and especially socially awkward older men are often considered red flags for safety reasons. Worst case, you could get in to major trouble for flirting with a younger girl.

Then go back through all 24+ pages of this thread and write down on a pad everything that has been suggested, and when the suggestions are repeats, make a tally mark for each repetition.