scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

Post Reply New Topic

-9.5 My body really, really needs to quit pretending something’s wrong when it isn’t (well enough to convince doctors that I need expensive tests done, before I have a clue what might be indicated).

I’m honestly astonished that the lymphoma actually showed up on any test, but it did take several years of developing and still a negative CT scan, ultrasound, and core biopsy

-10

Sadness is becoming anger. To those who turned on me simply for having emotions: f**k you.

-3.5. hip hurts in a manner challenging to distract myself from.

-10

It hurts to be ignored by people who used to say they were in your corner and have stopped responding to you for no explicable reason.

-5.

Cousin commit suicide yesterday, unable to sleep as a result, using WP to distract myself from the pain, and feeling empty inside. This is my 2nd cousin who commit suicide in the span of 2 years. The reason why im not at a -10 is because I recently signed up for piano lessons and hope to see where that takes me.

((( Hugs Salad )))

This must be a very difficult time for you and your family. I'm grateful that you've been able to find a positive outlet like piano lessons, and I hope you'll enjoy them.

My condolences to you all, and especially his parents.

Thank you. You're one of the few people who when you offer prayers I dont take offense and enjoy it, because your prayers seems genuine and it actually offers consolation and healing.

Theres many instruments to choose from, but something about the piano stuck with me. Its range of emotional depth and expressive versatility seems so potent, and it seems the perfect conduit to process all of these emotions inside of me.

His parents are actually in the hospital and themselves fainted due to the emotional trauma....

-3.

What happened?

-8

Are you feeling better now, Aunt Blabby?

sorry my brother, but i'm feeling worse, just came home from Physical Therapy [am going along with it even though it was supposed to come AFTER the surgery], very sore.

That's awful.

yeh, that's what I said

I hope I’m not one of those people, if so I’m certainly not doing it intentionally, I’m just feeling reclusive and can’t even support myself right now, let alone anyone else. I haven’t been online much recently, entirely possible I missed things, I haven’t been deliberately ignoring.

Offering more dragon hugs, I at least have plenty of those to give. And I can say that even if I’m not good at showing it, I do still care.

-5 Meh, feeling too detached to feel horrible, I guess that’s something, maybe?

Hung up on all the weight I’ve gained from chemo, and how diet changes and exercise aren’t making one bit of difference. Been keeping it up roughly since the beginning of the year, and, well, still keeping it up, haven’t lost an ounce (though it’s really how I look that bothers me, not the numbers on the scale - and that hasn’t improved any, either). But I’m tenacious, I still do it. If nothing else, I can at least point to all the things I’m supposedly doing right, tips I’m following, and mistakes I’m not making and say that no, it really isn’t my own dang fault.

Depression’s also getting bad again, independent of that, though I’m sure that doesn’t help any. I wish I’d just done the deed before chemo.