scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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0 (I am mixed today. At least my head is clearing from the sensory processing issues that I have been dealing with)

At my typical 7.

-6

You know I’m sick and tired of everything going on, Covid is killing more and more people, the inflation, the potential war and that sob putin, and my mental health alone hasn’t been so great, matter of fact it just keeps getting worse. I’ll get the feeling it’s all over and my life is back on track and then everything falls back apart. I’ve been having obsessive thoughts for almond 8 months now and I just can’t deal with them anymore. I sometimes have a feeling my only friend offline is God. I’m very lonely and I’m tired of this life, they keep saying it will get better for me, they been saying that for 8 months and it’s not. My psychiatrist keeps making adjustments to my meds and they’ll help some but like a month or 2 later I’m back to the miserable life.

1.75

6. More tightrope walks.

1.82

At my typical 7.

afterwards, 4.

-5 or so, mostly negatives but some positives too

Spoke too soon with the carer stuff today. She saw my tears afterwards. I don't want her to feel bad for it making me upset. Medication for the TN isn't really working today. Self-blame/self-esteem stuff over life, feeling I deserve things. I balanced that out when I got a better perspective of things when witnessing and feeling the pain of life today. Self-harm, but only a punch Dill in his jerk face deal, so no bother.

Yeah, no one thinks life would end up this way. "Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial... ." I don't want a crown though, just less suffering and more happiness for those I care for. My own wants don't matter, but that'll be because people made me that way, who're likely doing quite well now. Funny how that one goes. No hard feelings. What I want does matter though.

^^^indubitably.

At my typical 7.

3.98

-10

At my typical 7.

.754

At my typical 7.