scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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At my typical 7.

-8. I'm honestly starting to feel suicidal. I just wish people would leave me alone.

-50

Freaking the f out.

I can't do this anymore.

^ I hope you guys are ok.

-32767

Nobody really gives a damn about my feelings.

I might as well be dead, to be honest.

Today's high: - 40

A big round of hugs to everyone.

5. In full swing of a rotten cold, and also feel like I've made a big mistake, letting previously related experiences cloud my judgement.

At my typical 7.

4.

Trying to prepare for a job interview featuring a presentation, utterly drained. Emailed the Samaritans again, first time since June.

Might not accept it if I'm offered the role as it would have a high emotional load. Salary is good, though.

At a 6 earlier today, but am now back at my typical 7.

5. Fatigued, but content.

Had a busy week, and have another ahead. Could possibly be the initial effects of recently restarting my CBD Oil.

At my typical 7.

I don't suffer with extreme mood swings. I just do "boring"--- heck not everyone can be interesting! Someone has to do "boring"! I was always the kid on the outside looking in wondering why rejection followed me everywhere. I'm 77 now having lived a friendless life of weirdness over a checkered past. I recently submitted to an ASD diagnosis that proved positive. If there was any consistency throughout my life, it was with repetitive attempts to join social groups always ending in failure with my inability to connect with people and becoming stigmatized in various ways. I have always held down a job, sometimes excelling at my work but never as a team player. My first wife of 12 years marriage walked out because I was boring. My current marriage of 35 years only lasted because my wife has got her own issues dealing with agoraphobia---what a pair we make! We both realized there are few people out there who would put up with either of us---so stick with who you know! It's been a marriage of toleration as I really don't know the meaning of love. I was an unwanted child---that's the way I felt. I was not abused in any way but just felt unwanted. I had an older good brother (nine years) who never married and died at age 51. I believe both he and my father also had this "malady" indeed when I recall memories of my uncles and cousins, they all had their emotional issues. Closeness and engagement weren't a trait on my father's side of the family. So here I am through many twists and turns 3k miles away from what used to be home, at my current home. I don't pretend to be some sort of sage or to offer useful advice as my engagement and history of reciprocity with people would not fill an egg cup, yet I continue doing my own boring thing in contentment having come to terms with "it is what it is!"

a strong 4 to a light 5

At my typical 7.