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LivingInParentheses
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18 Nov 2015, 1:34 pm

Thank you. :) *hugs* right back atcha (browser is being slow so don't want to click the "view more smileys" to find the trigger just now)


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~ ( Living in Parentheses ) - female aspie, diagnosed at 42 ~
BAP: 132 aloof, 121 rigid, 84 pragmatic // Cambridge Face Memory Test: 62% // AQ: 39


Cockroach96
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18 Nov 2015, 1:43 pm

CloudFare is driving me mad again. Like I wasn't frustrated enough already.


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WitchsCat
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18 Nov 2015, 4:22 pm

I just want to give a big "f*** you" to all the haters out there. May you rot in Hell!


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auntblabby
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18 Nov 2015, 4:54 pm

Catlover5 wrote:
LivingInParentheses wrote:
I hate my husband so much. So, so much. He's such a bad husband. So mean. Aggressive. Emotionally abusive. 100% of his life is about sex, if he can't have it daily on deman he traumatizes me and any child who might be home at the time because he doesn't edit himself or care if they're here, he says everything is always MY fault, he says "well you MADE me do it", I can't take it, I cannot take it. My God. Every single day. Every. Day. I can't even describe it accurately. I can't go into specifics. I dont' even want specific replies addressing any specifci part of this, though empathy/sympathy/rage on my behalf is more than welcome, I just can't even pick this apart any further right now or I will implode. I just. Can't. He makes me overload until I'm actually stammering and stuttering and go mute.

I can't DO this. I can't DO this every day. Dammit now he's made me cry and he isn't even here. I hate when overload leads to tears because I get all congested and can't breathe. Ugh my life is an emotional horror story. Why did both of my parents have to die before I knew how to be an adult? Why am I completely alone except him and the kids, who arent' old enough to help me, and besides I'm supposed to be helping them, but couldn't do it right all these years, and the two oldest are both in separate rehabs for serious addiction problems and won't be here for thanksgiving and my brother died beore last thanksgiving and i'm going to be alone with my husband and daughter and I CAN"T DO THIS. And the dishwasher broke. I'm supposed to be taking my daughter and her best friend WITH my husband to a concert almost 2 hours awya tonight and I'm already overloaded so much I'm in tears. I don't know what to do. I'm so tired of being alone among so many people. I don't want to always have nobody to talk to about anything and suck it up because that's what moms do. I just want one friend. But nobody can handle me because I'm all wrong.

Leave him. Right now.

seconded!



B19
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19 Nov 2015, 8:33 pm

My first rant in the 3 years I have been on WP! Normally I live in a peaceful surroundings. It is one of the main things that influenced my decision to buy here a few years ago. The past 3 months have been anything but. Two neighbours (on each side of me) decided to do extensive renovations to their houses and gardens. Scaffolding was needed as part of this and destroyed a large part of my garden (which took me the past 4 years to transform from heavily overgrown weeds to beauty). I am replanting it slowly, and a bit resentfully.. then one neighbour decided to sell - hoards of lookers through the property and wandering around mine and looking in my window for six weeks prior to the auction. Then the other neighbour decided to sell: more hoards of lookers and annoyingly people knocking on my door asking about the neighbourbood. Then the new owner on one side decided to rip out everything and have a total refit done. The noise and disruption have been horrendous. Today they had to cut off my water supply for hours - I couldn't shower, flush the toilet, wash my hands or make some coffee. The street outside is clogged up with trucks and jumbo bins and, and my driveway is blocked every time I try to go out. The builders are quite pleasant people (the only positive) and I understand that these transformations make noise and mess, though after 3 months of it, day in day out, I am beginning to unravel. Privacy means a lot to me and I have had none for 12 weeks. Noise drives me crazy at any time, and knocking down concrete walls is noisy in the extreme. I can't go away until this is finished because my rescue cat is too terrified to even go outside now and has gone back to hiding under the bed. He has lost all the confidence training that he gained and was able to risk some ventures outside since all this disruption began. Now we will have to start over. Grrrrr. Grumpy-stressed-worn out with noise-and-disruption B19. Still recovering from road rage incident during this time when a fiend from hell hit the rear corner of my car in a parking area - and then screamed and yelled that it must have been my fault (completely insane hostile person). Even their insurance company didn't believe their story. That was something, I guess. Please wish for me that 2016 will be a much more peaceful and incident free year. This was has been awful in lots of ways and I have now reached my stress limit...



auntblabby
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19 Nov 2015, 8:53 pm

B19 wrote:
My first rant in the 3 years I have been on WP! Normally I live in a peaceful surroundings. It is one of the main things that influenced my decision to buy here a few years ago. The past 3 months have been anything but. Two neighbours (on each side of me) decided to do extensive renovations to their houses and gardens. Scaffolding was needed as part of this and destroyed a large part of my garden (which took me the past 4 years to transform from heavily overgrown weeds to beauty). I am replanting it slowly, and a bit resentfully.. then one neighbour decided to sell - hoards of lookers through the property and wandering around mine and looking in my window for six weeks prior to the auction. Then the other neighbour decided to sell: more hoards of lookers and annoyingly people knocking on my door asking about the neighbourbood. Then the new owner on one side decided to rip out everything and have a total refit done. The noise and disruption have been horrendous. ...

I hope this helps you- I have noisy neighbors [from time to time] also and nothing works better to block out noise at least, than a big box fan, 20" or larger, they make a specific spectrum of sound called "brown noise" which happens to be near the frequencies of the noises you want to block. put that box fan wherever you are at, near a corner and facing towards the corner so it doesn't disturb you with drafts.



B19
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19 Nov 2015, 11:46 pm

Thank you AuntB. Just ranting helped too!



auntblabby
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19 Nov 2015, 11:56 pm

B19 wrote:
Thank you AuntB. Just ranting helped too!

yeh :wtg: always easier to take an owie when one indulges in some good ol' Anglo-Saxon Image



Kiprobalhato
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20 Nov 2015, 2:01 am

LivingInParentheses wrote:
no friends
no family
no savings
no job
no guts
nobody to take care of me or help me with anything
no counselor / psychiatrist who will take my insurance yet (been trying)
no resources
no nothing.

been working on getting excellent credit since 2010 in case the s**t hit the fan, but need an income so that if that happens, i can pay it off. i type really fast and am great with research, especially medical research. i hope i can find a job online and start to put money away to make it so i can eventually but not yet. if i throw myself out there alone with kids i'll be in daily overload/meltdown and not be able to care for them. this way i recover each time an carry on forward towards that goal. but i am working on it.

thank you for the urgent reminder that it's required. i sometimes wonder if i deserve this because i am so broken and wrong. that helps remind me that isn't true. :heart:


it isn't true, you deserve it. being broken doesn't change that IMO. it's always harder when you are dependent on the person you despise.

we hope you find a job and a way to care for your kids without messing with you more. yep. Image


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neilson_wheels
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23 Nov 2015, 8:20 am

What a hole, what a complete and utter, stinking, deep, dark, dank, dirty hole this has all become.



Amity
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23 Nov 2015, 2:57 pm

I don't know what you were playing at, what you hoped to achieve, but now I'm just gonna give you rope. You had every opportunity to resolve this (imaginary) issue with me in person when we met for planning each week, yet you chose to make a complaint instead, wtf.



Noca
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28 Nov 2015, 1:09 am

The worst part about living with a chronic illness is often not the illness itself, it is the lack of understanding from those are you, especially those whom you depend on.



Amity
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01 Dec 2015, 4:09 pm

Stoopid heeled shoes, stoopid dress code, I need to feel more comfy Im gonna wear my chunky flat boots tomorrow, I might even wear jeans with them I don't care anymore.



Raleigh
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03 Dec 2015, 5:37 am

On Sunday I needed to call my mother on my mobile using my voice.
She said she couldn't understand me so I hung up went to visit her in person.
When I got there she kept going on and on about how I sounded on the phone and then she started mocking my stutter but in a very exaggerated way - even slurring the words like she thought I was drunk or something.
Really, you'd think a mother would be more sensitive about these things.
Nope.
She has to make sure I feel like a complete f*****g spastic.
I'm really tired of this s**t.


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auntblabby
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03 Dec 2015, 6:39 am

^^^^I really wish you had given her what-for! :x



WitchsCat
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05 Dec 2015, 9:15 am

I f***ing HATE ISIS so much right now! All they are are heartless a**holes who take pleasure out of killing people and destroying important monuments. And yet no one is doing a thing to stop them; it's like they don't give a f**k if we die or not. And the scary part is, some members of ISIS are in the US, and some of us aren't even aware of it. I'm only 28 years old with a husband, and I don't want to die with a machete at my neck. I wish some countries would pull their heads out of their a**es and f***ing do something, because I am sick of living in fear!


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