Rants

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we still don't want you to resort to any kind of violence, especially against yourself.

You can improve. And even if you can't, its's not worth dying over. Cling on to the last shred of hope within you and tell yourself it will get better someday. I suggest you call a suicide hotline. Hope you feel better.

I have faith in you that you can make things alright. now YOU have some faith in you.

^I'll send you all the hope and love and prayers I can.

^I still wish I was dead, but thanks...

I repeat that you should call a suicide hotline. Remember, we care about you, and we're here any time you need to talk.

I'm scared of my husband coming home. He may berate me about my anger issues. I was normally a nice person until he had to get blood work done. I wish I was still a nice person instead of the angry monster that I am now.

When he comes home, try to take deep breaths and keep repeating to yourself, "I am calm."

you CAN manage your emotions. repeat this as a mantra.

He isn't even remotely abusive. He has become stressed out a lot because of me. Everything that happened this week is MY fault; had I not give an attitude, he would have at least one stress-free day, maybe even more. Sometimes, I feel he's better off without me, with another woman who manages her anger much better than I do, and is more attractive (I am obese).

I think you should sit down with him and tell him how you're feeling.

I'll try, but he'll just say something along the lines of "it's not about you, it's about me!", as he was the one who took the blood test. I hate my anger, it's worse that Charlie Sheen's.

If you feel you are having problems with anger, then you should find a counselor or therapist to help you.

I tried that; it did not go well, especially since I am an introvert.

all the things you mentioned can be changed at this moment if you determine to do so. one step at a time, one foot step in front of the other, repeat. first thing is to not speak immediately when one wants to speak, wait 10 seconds. deliberate. during that time, breathe. do NOT hold your breath. breathe. wait 10 seconds, then after a final breath, only then speak. this will help.