Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselling Thread

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anybody here with experience in 12 step groups?

In "Bill's Story" within "Alcoholics Anonymous", the book, Bill mentions an "alloy of drink and speculation, [out of which] I commenced to forge the weapon that one day would turn in its flight like a boomerang and all but cut me to ribbons." Bill was in his early 20s at that time, he had seen people around him being successful in life and he had just recently "discovered alcohol" ...

... and there in all of that we can see Bill's own "fantasy" (the speculation of believing he also could be successful) while his ego and self-confidence were being bolstered by the effect of alcohol ...

... but then that alloy (fantasy) of personal belief, determination and alcohol ultimately "all but cut me to ribbons", he has said. So yes, some of the things we occasionally see posted here are mere "fantasies" still in the works such as even Bill had once had, and some of us here have already lived that "hell" or are maybe even still doing so ...

... and all of that is just fine. It takes whatever it takes for each of us to eventually find out for ourselves so we can come to learn to pursue a much better or more-effective manner of living ...

... and I believe that is the purpose of this particular thread here on WP.


Yes, several of us, and maybe even many!

I don't know about the other folks, but I'm serious & honest.

Honesty example:
I had 4 months clean & sober as of 1-21-12, but then I had 3 beers that day, didn't really get much of a buzz out of it.
Then today, I decided to get some "Four-loco" flavored malt liquor beverages and get a proper buzz going on.
Kinda felt cheated a couple weeks ago, didn't get enough alcohol, then it was past 2:30 am, so I couldn't buy more.

"Oh my god! I blew 4 months sober!! !"... big freakin deal. I've been doing the in and out of AA dance since 1988. Honestly, I get really bored going to AA meetings. yeah, the people there are nice and all, but it's the same ol stuff every friggin day, day in, day out. Also , AA is a very social organization. In order to integrate well into AA, one has to be a particularly social individual. I just don't jive with that.
On top of that, I don't think I'm that bad of a drinker. I may like to get f'd up from time to time, but not every day, or even every week. I'm not one of those cases who's liver is on the verge of shutting down. really, I keep going back to AA because that's what my family expects of me. I was sent to rehab at 18 years old and now my family is convinced that AA id the ONLY way for me. Over time I've ;earned to play that to my advantage. If I do something dumb like get evicted from an apartment or quit a job on the spur of the moment. I "get sober" and go back to AA for a while.
Ultimately, I get bored of AA and stop going, but by them the heat is off and my family is none the wiser.
Why do I play this game with my family? Because my dad supports me financially. If he thought I was doing nothing but getting f'd up every day, that would end. yeah, it's not the best thing but I prefer that to public assistance. And I have to portray the image of "sobriety" to the rest of my family because my family talks to each other about me.
I am the "broken" one in the family after all.

I'd much rather find my own way of financially supporting myself, but that isn't working out so well for me. maybe some day I'll manage to sell some software or sell my photography, but really, i don't know what I'm doing and it's all stabbing in the dark for me. If I could obtain my own income, I really wouldn't care what my family thinks. I'd be stoned 24/7 and everything would be cool. BUT my social skills are not up to par and finding work isn't that easy, it's something that depends heavily on social skills.

I'm rambling now and I don't know if anything I wrote makes sense.

Also to the 'backagain': what exactly do you mean about fantasy stories?

Hmm I wonder how long people who drink as much as I do typically live.

Nothing makes you feel guilty quite like a 1 year old emulating you smoking.

Well I've been trying not to do this because it never actually helps.......but I'm going to walk to the liquor store and get something to drink because I need a break a break the cannabis just wont provide.

This is my first post. I got sober 12/30/91 in Seattle. I was 23 then I'm 43 now.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers last year. Basically I started seeing a Therapist about 8 years ago for depression.

The long and the short of it is the Therapist kept adding new diagnosis every year and I didn't know if I believed him or not? I just kept going because it seemed to help talking about what was going on in my life. Managing my career and my personal life. I also liked the safety net of having a mental health professional that I could check in with.

So back when I was using I smoked a lot of dope, took mushrooms, drank, dabbled with crack, heroin, meth, benzodiazapines etc. Funny thing about it was my parents rarely drank. I was an Eagle Scout.

My life really went through an ugly period back in the "grunge years". I came close to going to prison on a possession charge. I worked on fishing boats in the Bering Sea (loaded at times).

Any way the 12 Step program in AA is good stuff. I've stayed sober through going back to school. Getting a career. My Mom and Dad passing away etc.

My life isn't strictly about work and AA functions though. I'm into Mountain Biking, Snowboarding, and some other interests. I've worked with the same employer for almost 11 years now.

So I just thought I would check in.

Welcome to WP, Mike!

Yup, I know how that feels.

The thing with drinking as a last resort though, is that it's always at a time when you're in the worst kind of mood.

The break I need isn't usually the kind of break I actually get. Usually a wall or something gets the break instead.

I always end up getting into some kind of trouble, and then all I have to show for it is an even bigger headache than usual.

My last resort recently changed to opiate-based painkillers combined with sleeping pills.

Neighbours are jumping up and down on top of my head? I'm sorry, I can't hear you, I'm unconscious.



The only drawback is that it can only be done occasionally, like once a week, to avoid an opiate addiction. That is the last thing I need.

I guess the other contents of the pills are bad for the stomach too, but eh, whatever. It beats a wrecked flat and a hangover.

I got a bit drunk two nights ago. So much for sobriety...

I don't usually get into much trouble when I drink, I tend to handle it pretty well........but I recently found and have tried something called Kratom legal most places as far as I know and alcohol does not compare and in some ways even cannabis does not compare. However it is not something I should get in the habit of regularly using as from what I looked up it is addictive, not just psychologically but it is a good occasional alternative at least in my opinion.

I take kratom every day. Usually the first thing I do when I get up, and then again later on in the day just before the main meal/sleep. I have a mouth full of dark bitter goop right now, actually. People complain about the taste, but I can't swallow the powder without swilling it around my mouth for about half an hour first. Making tea would require washing dishes, and I can't say I dislike the taste anyway.

It enhances weed quite a lot when smoking afterwards.

They say it stimulates the same receptors as opiates, and there are supposed to be withdrawal symptoms when you quit, but I stopped for a few weeks once and all that I got was a runny nose.

It can make you feel sick but I've found that ginger beer or promethazine tablets help with that, so does having a good sandwich or something. Settles the stomach. I never liked ginger beer before, but it has an antiemetic drug in it, and now I can see that even weird fiery drinks have their place.

15 more days until I stop self-medicating with alcohol...

I am scared and excited at the same time. I hope that I can manage to avoid being depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, and/or sick during that time... since I use it for all 4 items... anD fun too of course...

This will be my 3rd official time quitting drinking... and this one is forever which is a bummer but I know its the only way that it'll work...

12 step programs are guilt based so I'll be avoiding that. I've overcome addictions that kill people directly so I know that I can work on this one without steps... but sheesh... its my core addiciton... :\

no matter what though... February the 30's (so essentially at the end of the month) I am quitting drinking...

now to have a vodka squirt to calm my nerves about quitting lol

Hmm it does not really cause a whole lot of nausea or anything for me and supposedly its supposed to have a hang over similar to alcohol which I have not experienced to me it makes me feel a whole lot better than I usually do and does not seem to do a whole lot of harm. I do enjoy it for sure but should probably avoid getting dependent. Though it is legal so what difference would it make.

It is strangely cheap too, especially in bulk. Alcohol and everything is more expensive.

It is nice to just have a huge sack that lasts for months, and a spoon, without needing to go and buy more stuff or answer the door for a bunch of deliveries.

I get uncomfortable trying to sleep without it but other than that it's a nice thing to have around. I don't mind leaving plastic spoons all over my house.

** exits the thread about support for people trying to get away from substance dependency where the topic is alternative substances to become dependent on realizing he should have paid more attention to the topic at hand before assuming that this thread still was based on the original topic. **