Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear Relative, (shall I mention your relation?)

Wait-- I'm right?

When was I
ever right?

When did you ever say to me, over the course of my lifetime, "you're right?"

...Never ever ever ever ever.

I love how you're just so casual, like "...Oh. I guess you're right."

Ha.
What, after like ten? Eleven? Twelve? Thirteen years of waiting? That's all you gotta say?

Just, like, "Oh, you're right?"
Just, so chill?

I love it.

Dear XXXXX

I hate you, I had forgiven you but you continue to ruin your own life as well as those around you. You are tied with Autism, homelessness and heroin in terms of screwing up my life completely. Your sick and your in denial and I don't care what happened to you as a child anymore. My life isn't a bowl of cherries either mostly because of you and I don't go about purposely ruining peoples lives (though in reality I probably have and its probably your fault by proxy as*hole). You are abusive to me, you are abusive to my family. I tried to reason with you and you didn't want it. Also your gonna burn in hell fantasying about seven year olds. I can't erase the images you have embedded in my mind as a child you sick f**k. You haven't gotten away with s**t, you did this time and maybe a few other times and maybe some times in the future but it'll catch up with you and I will pour as much gasoline on the fire as I can when it does. Go and die for all I care you manipulative sadistic low life prick. What in the hell is wrong with your brain giving a 12 year old drugs, was it not enough to completely brain wash me? Also I find it odd that you remove yourself when a child around the age I was is present, feeling guilty as*hole? Or can you not control yourself you sick f**k? You have to get away don't you? I hope you can never get away, I hope its eats at your soul. I hope your forced to think about every time I cut myself for an eternity, I hope you feel ever tear that I have cried. I hope you feel every needle that went in my arm to escape the hell you have caused me. You betrayed my trust, you took away my dignity and if that wasn't enough, you took away my home and family. You have taken everything from me, everything as*hole. You have completely made my life not worth living and I did nothing to you, absolutely nothing. I just wanted to know why in private and I would have never brought it up again, undeserved forgiveness and you spit in my face.

Dear Denis Istomin,

I would love to go to a tennis tournament someday (preferably in my home state) and meet you. You have been a great source of inspiration to me. You overcame the greatest of odds against you to make the ATP men's tour and, because of that, you are truly inspiring. Many people don't know of you, but more should. I would someday like to meet you and write the story of your life.

To mr cheese,

f**k you and f**k your company you prick.

From me.

Dear self,

Why do you push your luck with things? You're running out of preventative measures, and yet you know, deep down and from years of experience, that you will ignore every logical thought, or opportunity to stop, until the first real consequence actually happens.
Until then, it isn't real to you.
But it is real to you.
It is.
All of this time, up until that point, is yours for the taking. That time now seems shorter than ever; duh, that's how time and long term damage f*****g works.

So stop. The threat on the horizon grows less vague with every advancing day you do not. Stop now, and halt it.
Do not come back to me when it hits and plead regret.
Regret will not help you then.
But you can help you now.

In summary: get your s**t together, Rachel.

i tried to keep you alive.

...I guess you have a short fuse.
I guess you'll always have a short fuse.

I guess that's just a fact.

Dear Self,

You have accomplished a lot this year. Be careful and continue to build on your successes in 2017. Stay positive and attentive in the future-especially when you're driving. There are some crazy people on the road here!

To The Crazy Drivers in My Hometown:

What kind of crazy people do I have here? Watch where you're going and stop this crazy nutjob driving! I need a car cam like they have in Russia, because the driving has become just as nuts! I love driving and the independence it gives me, and I want to stay alive to enjoy it. I don't look forward to being in the hospital, broken into a million little pieces.

I'm a stronger person than I was. I can do this now.

Please don't give up.

To the so called "Tennis Channel"

Please stop broadcasting old tennis matches that my favorite players lost during the 2016 season. Broadcast something new, like the Australian Open Wildcard playoffs. Yes, this IS a thinly disguised effort to get you to show me Denis Istomin! So what?

And please, stop showing me Novak Djokovic's pathetic racquet smashing meltdowns. I'm not a fan of the guy, but it's painful to watch this stuff.

Dear Dad,

Have a cookie and while your at it, stop pissing me the hell off please,

CHILL. THE. F. OUT

Thanks, love you

You're always cold despite the weather. You need sun. You're so pale.

You won't smile. (You'd best avert your eyes and not give her a second look)

Things you want: not a companion but some pages in a journal.

(You'd think she's had enough, it's not enough)

You always want more. [You always want more]

I hate you and your F-ing religion, my only regret is that I don't remember pissing you off. I can do again if you would like and I can be more clear and to the point if I failed the first time. I hate you, I might just take the opportunity in court to find new words that better express my true feelings as obviously something has gone wrong with our communication but don't worry, I have thought of some new ones you self righteous fat thighed promiscuous cow.

There, I said it and I don't care

I hope the 2017 tennis season begins soon! I'm tired of turning of the television and seeing endless reruns. They broadcast the 2016 French Open final between Djokovic and Murray about three times today already! Enough!