Rants

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Why must the human race run their lives by dates and times and schedules and be so rushy rushy busy busy? I want to do things slowly and considerately, and not rush or worry about time. Time is an illusion! Reality as humans see it is an illusion!

People being noisy, rude, annoying the hell out of me and acting like a bunch of idiots. And also, I had to put up with teachers yelling their heads off, which caused me to have a huge meltdown.

I am glad to be done with school for a week, because scumbags like these just ruin my bloody day

Yesterday was so horrible. I was so embarrassed, overwhelmed, and upset. Way too many people. Embarrassed because I never know what I'm supposed to say. I don't know what to do. All the noise and confusion was so overwhelming and I just wanted to go home. But I had to stay. And I knew I was doing everything wrong, but couldn't help it.

I didn't recognize people I was supposed to recognize. I was so confused. People knew me, but I didn't recognize their faces. What am I supposed to say if I can't recognize their face? Hours and hours of horrible overwhelming anxiety and sadness, and I had nowhere to go and hide.

Then to have someone act like it was no big deal, and imply that I'm anti-social on purpose. I want to socialize. But I can't, especially with so so many people! I suck at socializing. It's so humiliating to be confused all the time in these situations. Why do I have to be so clueless?

My landlord still keeps making noise! He cranks up his TV and stomps around and rapidly thumps his feet against the floor, and it's starting to drive me nuts. I f*****g hate living in the same house as other people, I don't care who they are. The fact that I have my own basement suite doesn't make a god damn difference. I just wish I could have my own f*****g house where I could have some peace and god damn quiet.

I would be banging against the ceiling to get him to knock it off if it weren't for the fact that it has that popcorn coating s**t that easily gets damaged. Hell, I'd be tempted to rig up a subwoofer and play loud bass music to get him to stop. But I don't want noise, I want peace and f*****g quiet.

I'm pissed, super pissed, REALLY pissed. I wish they would f*****g KNOCK IT OFF.

Oddly, I don't mind the drone of the furnace whenever that kicks in. I wish it would run constantly so that it would block out their noise and so that I wouldn't have to wear these f*****g vice-grip headphones that don't even block out sound effectively.

Well it can get worse, I have one neighbor that I like the others consist of

Under me - drug dealer / crack head and heroin user

Beside me - Always has company, gets drunk and yells at his "lovers". Smokes pot too but thats probably a plus since I am smoking it as well.

Across the hall - The single most insane person I know, she smokes crack with the person under me and accused me of having a sexual relationship with her, raping her and smoking crack with her. I have never touched this woman with a ten foot pole, the extend of our acquaintanceship is when she lived in another apartment she would get a hold of weed and I'd smoke at her place and leave for work. This was before I found out she is bat s**t crazy and thinks the Soviet Union is in her (current) apartment. She also told me that her father raped her. Which I felt bad for her before I realized thats probably not true. I mean why in the hell would you hang out with someone that abused you sexually. She has actually got progressively worse and I am beginning to wonder if she uses meth...

*sniff* *sob*

I have a friend who used to have a neighbor who lived on the other side of the duplex he lived in, and for some unknown reason the poor thing would go out onto her front lawn and howl.

I'm just having a really bad day. I'm upset by the fact that I give and I give, and people just gobble me up. The worst part is when they spit me out, when they're done milking my kindness. You're there for them in their hour of need, but they never reciprocate the deed. When all's well with them they forget you even exist, even though you were kind enough not to do that to them. People, they're 1% pleasure, 99% pain. Or at least 99% of them are.
I'm tired of being an easy target, and what gets to me most is that when I say "No more benefit without return", they actually become irate. Is that all I am? An ATM from which to receive benefit. I guess I'm too naive. I think being kind, will bring kindness towards me. I'm so stupid. They never really cared for me. While they were down trodden, they needed me, since I was the same and could relate. Now that they're with the high rollers, the people they always wanted to be with, I'm now invisible.

Well, one things gives me satisfaction. You missed out on someone genuine, but I didn't.

people can be more trouble than they're worth.

*looks in the mirror* I'm so fat and disgusting!

You know what to do about it, don't you?

I'm fatter and more disgusting than you, and, while I do feel bad, I don't think I can feel proportionally as bad as I'd have to if I held myself to the same standards you seem to hold yourself to---it'd saturate the scale of how bad I can feel.

nobody's perfect.

Well, I wish I was, physically.

I'm 5'2" and 182 pounds, which means I am obese, according to BMI. Exercising is not as successful during the winter as any other season, and now certain portions of food disgust me anymore. I suffer from occasional constipation, which doesn't help, either. now my husband can't even stand me because I can't shut up about it. I hate myself, my body, and wish I was hit by a car!

traffic accidents no fun, been in plenty meself I've battled my weight all my life, I can tell you that avoiding foods that cause elevated insulin levels is the only way to go if you wanna lose weight and keep it off.

I still wish I was non-existent, because my husband now hates me again. Anyone know where I can find or buy cyanide?

cyanide is a nasty way to go.

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.