Rants

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You ONLY get to encounter me, and you're barely right half the time because you're trying TOO HARD. It's annoying It's like correcting 7 on 3 + 4 = 7 written in a clear writing.

I goddamned KNEW that and I WOULD do so but then you thought I DIDN'T. Like I said, it's annoying, and you're not teaching me anything but to remind me WHY I should give up on you people.

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Oh pitiful existence, lacking in meaning or purpose.
Let us bask in our pre-determined, self-inflicted sorrow!
If for but a brief microsecond in the universal timeline of the short-lived "happiness"..! !
Contrary to nihilism, we search dearly for what one defines as 'meaning'.
We crave it, feel hunger and insatiability for anything less than perfection in the search for success and glory.
But to no avail.
For it is a futile attempt.
The world remains a pattern of ever re-occuring patterns.
We are but one brief minute in the cyclically structured human history and psyche.
And, even less so in the history of all that has ever was, is and has will be.
So, we move onwards.
For to dwell too much on such thoughts...
Will take any pitiful enjoyment one may feel out of life, and suck it dry.
It is not ideal for the body, mind nor soul to deny it a sense of meaning and purpose.
Mindless consumption of meaningless dribble to pander to my body...
and activate it's chemicals for positive emotions I shall!
Do what I can to survive in this life....
And then enjoy it I will!
It is meaningless? Lacking in purpose?
I'll do it anyway!
For is it not just as pointless to be inactive rather than active in one's life?
So, henceforth, and pitiful, empty, hollow existence, here I come!
And every miserable minute of it I will enjoy!

School seems like a prison to me. I'm trying so hard not to see it like that, but I'm trying so hard at every other freaking things in my life, so I have barely any energy.

I'm at it again! Taking everything the wrong way

I couldn't go to open museum night because of a thunderstorm. I'm stuck here listening in spite of me my cuntie neighbors, good for you if you can socialize with morons like you. Nearly less anxious about moving. I hope there no one will be heard this easily. I can't believe I've been living here for so long. People stink. Try to connect with one hundred to find one that have low hypocrisy or basic prejudices. I don't know what I'm doing here. In that place, on that planet. I saw you today. Why? I guess I'll have no more answer to that question than to all the others. I'm tired, frustrated and angry, and don't want to see people, generally speaking. And those I would, talking about something else than the most stupid life on this planet, they're busy being alone. And I can relate. I definitely might invest in a punching bag.

I try so damned hard to be the best employee candidate but, sometimes I feel that who in the world is actually going to hire me since, I don't have tons of skills due to missing out on a great deal of things.

It is Monday, and work starts again. At least this week shouldn't be too busy.

I'm sick of NT's who believe themselves to be experts on autism after meeting one autistic kid or taking a Psych 101 class, lecturing me on how I'm not "actually autistic", and saying I'm "much too high-functioning" because I can string something eloquent together every now and then.

Let me be clear on what I mean:
I want to leave this life, not because it's crappy. If anything, it's more than adequate. More than I deserved or needed.
I just want to leave, move on, and forget yet I cannot. I have no motives nor reasons involving anyone.
I don't hate anyone or anything, I'm not in a stress or anything unhealthy, I'm not sad or depressed.

AND NO, I'M NOT BEING SUICIDAL. More like I don't want any concern from others nor I myself have no concern for myself.


I wanna live without regrets, without anyone being attached, without anyone knowing me much. And I don't want to hurt those around me, I would rather do that with strangers whom I would never be friends with.

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Give me a landing craft and I'll have you a pair o' flipping jet skis!

You didnt listen to me when you made your decision, you listened to the loudest voice, or listen to me each time the warning signals flared up, you avoided reality as much as possible and now the problem is flippin huge, your still not listening to me, and I know Im the one who is going to have to fix this mess while you continue to ignore reality.

Cocaine fans have to be the most tedious people in existence. I've had the misfortune of spending time with many of them over the years. They are not interested in taking drugs to have fun or connect with other people or expand their minds. They are boring people made 10x more boring when high. They don't want to dance, laugh, have interesting conversations or anything. They are happy to spend time sitting in dingy kitchens with no music whispering tedious nonsense to each other because their kids are in bed and doing lines of sh it coke cut with all sorts til 6am. If that's the highlight of your existence I really don't see the point in being alive.

Why don't we just kill people worse off then us socially? The world does it, lets join in.

Man f**k people, support my ass, lets have a popularity contest.

That is all,

suffit que je dit un truc pour que tout le monde dit le contraire
--and then i'm supposed to believe you're all different guys??
on one hand and another,
.....homie-lies, an' all those "unemployed autistics" can afford therapies and the lot?????
religion & magic pills, holy bisssssnisssss

What is it about a deadline, everyone remembers all the things they simply must do at the last minute, its like I had a pot of hot potatoes thrown at me today. I hate doing other peoples dirty work.

^I get like that whenever I have to do group work. I usually end up doing other people's work or almost doing the whole thing by myself anyway.