Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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I try to picture getting better but I really can't imagine it.
Do I really have to do this forever?

I'm not sure I can.

Dear You,

I can't get over you throwing a b***h fit about how greedy your parents are. Because they paid your car insurance (you're THIRTY-SEVEN) and bought you a bunch of groceries and then donated $2500 to Children's Hospital instead of buying you presents with it.

And HE LOVES YOU. He actually empathizes with you, compares me to you all the time and you come out ahead. Why?? Because you're colorful and impulsive and snort stuff up your nose to change your mood to suit the occasion?? Because you're great arm candy, know how to manipulate an ego, and you're into pain in the bedroom??

I think you're repulsive. I think he's repulsive for loving you. I think you two deserve each other. Come get him. Run him into the ground and then find another one to kill.

I HOPE YOU DIE A VERY SLOW, VERY UGLY, VERY LONELY DEATH-- and it's not a metaphor this time.

You're right-- You ARE going to Hell. Only it's not for smoking dope and doing coke and being a complete slut and cussing and knowingly fencing hot s**t and dealing drugs and skipping church on Sundays. Well, maybe the "fencing hot s**t" part. But mostly, you're going to burn for the way you treat people.

Love Always,

Me

You can have my brother if you want him, he was never nice to me and I don't love him if you want to know the truth. I really really don't care anymore, I don't like the pain it causes my mother and WE ARE NOT ON GOOD TERMS. You have kinda pissed me off to be honest and you know I have an underdeveloped sense of reading between the lines so the hell with you I say. I am smart enough to find out possible motives on my own, don't sell me short but yes I can't read between the lines and I don't appreciate being mind F-ed.

Thanks, kindly go away now,

Also not far of a stretch of the imagination to guess where those hacks came from.

Stop mind F-ing me, I told you what I know and you knew before you asked.

Just ask me anything direct next time, I am crazy but I don't bite.

I'm not you. The way you make sense of the world isn't the same way I do. Your reasoning upset me rather than help. And yet you keep parroting the same thing even though you know we fall out when you do. It's because it feels like you don't care what I think or feel.

Why can't you get your head around that?

Yes I understand that your perspective makes you feel better. My disagreeing doesn't invalidate your life. But it gives me no comfort. It's just not how I live.

Another letter to a different person,

Can't you see how judgemental and arrogant you are?

Just because you think you've evaluated all the facts and come to a decision that makes the most logical sense to you doesn't mean that you're infallible. It doesn't give you the right to publucally go on and on about how stupid other people are.

Do you know that I'm ok that we don't agree, it's your arrogant attitude that I don't like. I have great friends that I don't agree with on important matters, but do you know why we're friends? Because they're nice. They don't feel the need to exert their supposed superiority on Facebook.

You sir are a prick. Intelligent, but a prick none the less.

Dear Mom,

I realize that not everyone thinks like me.

But I'm pretty sure that the correct phrase when your kids offer to buy you a $5000 reconstructed vehicle from a reliable mechanic that they've been working with for 20 years is "Thank you." Or "That works." Or "Good enough." Or something along those lines.

It wouldn't have occurred to me to act like you when I was a f*****g self-absorbed teenager.

Also-- the only thing wrong with your car right now is the cruise control. It's nice, but it's a luxury. On, I note, the $2000 rebuild from the same mechanic that you've been driving for FIVE YEARS without putting more than maintenance in it.

SHUT UP OR TAKE THE BUS.

IF YOU WANT PERFECT, GET IT ("IT" BEING A LOT MORE THAN A CAR) SOMEWHERE ELSE.

Dear Old Folks,

Thank you for everything you taught me. I'm so glad we got to talk about it while you were still here. I'm glad I smartened up in time to realize what a wonderful job you did, and how lucky I was, and say thank you.

Thank you again. I wish you were still here, that I could talk to you and get some reassurance in an insane culture.

You were right. The world is going to Hell in a handbag. The lessons and the values that you taught me are the cure for a lot of what ails our society, but nobody wants to listen. I guess hard work and simple living don't look like fun, I don't know. I guess kindness and REAL charity (which is not necessarily done with a check-book) don't have the ego-boost of self-righteous certitude.

We sure had a good time. Our pleasures were many, our worries relatively few. We sure weren't perfect. We weren't always nice. But we apologized when we were wrong, and we were mostly kind.

I'm glad you're safe in Heaven. You don't have to live the consequences of the choices of the people who laughed at you and built a culture around their stupid behavior. You're where I can't make a mistake that could hurt you now. Next time we see each other (assuming I manage to get there at all), it will be with the eyes of God and none of it will matter any more.

I hope you didn't feel as badly about yourselves in life as I do about myself these days. Thanks, Mom and Grandma and Grandpa, for The Book. The Bible is a really interesting story when it's written in plain English. I was reading the Book of John last night; as it turns out, they laughed at Jesus too. I didn't realize that they laughed at Him His whole life, not just at the end of it. I guess you already knew that, though.

He did the job that was in front of Him. You did the job that was in front of you. I'll try to keep doing the job that's in front of me, and live the values you taught me, but I don't think I'm doing a very good job. I hope you'll still accept me when I get there.

Love,

Me

PS-- "The baby" is learning to play that godforsaken keyboard. My head hurts. I don't know how you had all that patience, Grandma.

Stop killing my phone as*holes

Hi you are deluding yourself. But I think there's no point in arguing.

I'm not subscribing to your ethos even though you think it will help me. It won't help me. I just don't see it the way you do.

I think you're just trying to protect yourself, but you might feel a bit better if you looked after yourself rather than hide in a bubble.

This kind of applies to more than one person.

I am sorry

There, I said it, I am sorry

I didn't mean to f**k things up so intensely.

But pictures tell great stories as to why I felt unsafe, no?

But unsafe is a state of mind not reality.

But it did happen,

Creditably ends where unsafe begins,

I am nuts but I was nuts for a reason but its okay, I probably just got off my meds

I hate facebook okay, autistic persons nightmare and I was drug addict back then... because... drum roll... PTSD.

ALL OF YOU MAKE ME SICK!!

YOU ARE CONTEMPTIBLE!! YOU DISGUST ME!! YOU HURT AND DESTROY PEOPLE ON NOTHING MORE THAN YOUR OWN WHIM, THEN BLAME THEM FOR THE MESS. YOU HAVE NO RESPONSIBILITY, NO CONSCIENCE, NO SOUL.

YOU ARE NOT CHILDREN OF GOD.

YOU MAKE ME SICK!!

I wish there was a polite way to tell you to go away, but I am not sure how to tell you to go away without being mean. ^^;

Darnit.

Why do you interrupt to say that the people in the other political parties are all idiots and ret*ds? I'm so tired of it. How am I supposed to have any sort of dialogue with you when you switch so quickly from intelligence to name-calling? And you say I should watch my tone but can't see the error in your own ways.

i'm sorry you're so weirded out by the fact that someone like me would like you - i'll spare the pity party listing all the undesirable traits about me, we both know them. but there's better ways of going about it than cutting me off and making terrible excuses. i'm an adult, a simple "no thanks" or "i see you as a friend" or whatever would've sufficed. i don't quite see the point in shutting me out and pretending like we were never friends.

yeah, i get it, in 2017, men are f*****g weird. they stalk, they creep, they obsess, they can't take "no" as an answer, but i thought you spent enough time around me to value me as a friend and to trust that i can respect those boundaries. shame you chose to throw that away. oh well, i'll find real friends.