Dear Everyone I know,
My sister is abusive, and the excuse that she's Autistic too doesn't mean s**t when she's beating me. The statement that she "can't help it" means nothing to me. She is hateful and physically abusive. When I was deep in my depression and she found my cutting scars, she screamed at me to go ahead and kill myself and hit me. She bit me the day I was born because I "pulled her hair". Since the day I was born she let me know I was unwanted. Since I can remember, she has been physically abusive. My first memories have been her hurting me, not of birthday parties and toys and games and cookies.
I have protected her for too long, and yes, I have been protecting her. When I could have gone to school and told my teachers that I was getting beaten and showed them her bruises, I stayed quiet; I didn't want my sister in trouble, but I can't remember if It was because of that, or because I knew the fact that if I said anything she'd just beat me again. When I, as a grown adult, could go to the police and tell them I've been assaulted; No. That is too much. For some reason, the bond of family makes all crimes against me absolvable.
I just wish I could tell you without all of you going "No you can't hate your family" "She can't help it", I wish I could tell you without my mother crying and begging me to stop, I wish I could tell you without getting beaten once again by her. I wish I could tell you and no action come of her, because, honestly, I don't want her arrested, because I know it's not.... all her fault. I just want my story out, I want people to know the truth.
Maybe that's why I'm writing this on a forum none of you know exist.
Love, Me.
_________________
"I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know." - Emily Dickinson