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I mean I have trouble thinking I have any business doing it. It's always seemed a privilege to me, and one which makes even less sense for someone who isn't going to date or have romantic relationships to engage in. Besides, I don't consider the time and money I'd spend on it rightfully mine.

I'm sure I've seen somewhere that low muscle tone/difficulty building muscle is somehow ASD-related, so it might not be your fault you're not seeing the gains you want.

That said, from the routine you've given I think there's definitely room for improvement. You have quite a lot of rest days, is that because of time constraints? On days where you do workout, what else do you do (i.e. are you walking round, are you sedentary)? I think you might benefit from a more rounded form of training (similar to what you do on a Saturday) - I've seen the best improvements in muscle gain/tone from working multiple muscles at once on the same day. Not only does your functionality increase, but you keep your muscles guessing (which makes it harder for them to cheat) and get an elevated calorie burn. For example your legs/glutes are the biggest calorie-burners, so if you can involve them on arm day then you'll get more bang-for-your-buck, workout-wise.

I'm a girl so granted my routine might not appeal to you entirely (I know some guys scoff at yoga, for example), but I do go pretty hard . Here's a rough idea of my weekly routine; the main thing I do is pick different workouts every week, while sticking to the vague outlines for each day. I used to do '100 squats, 100 curls,' etc., but functional is better (it gets your heart going too!)

Monday - low impact bodyweight-only strength training (I do ballet but you could do pilates or similar)
Tuesay - total body cardio with weights (kickboxing)
Wednesday - rest day (light yoga for recovery)
Thursday - total body cardio and core
Friday - bodyweight-only strength training with some cardio (ballet again)
Saturday - strength training
Sunday - HIIT with a strength and core portion

With strength training it's hard to know how much you can lift; a good tip I go by is to lift enough that it's doable, but the last 1-2 reps are very challenging. If your form suffers, lift lighter, but you've been doing this a while, you know all that

England, I apologize in advance.

British Foreign Secretary Boris Johnson

OMG I am such a sh***y person,

I am an idiot and I get what I deserve.

I am completely disabled, I live off disability and I have a home cratered for the disabled. My existence is recognized by other people to be a failure or I wouldn't have what I have and I couldn't get it myself. Kill me, everything I have worked for has failed cause I am failure and I screwed it up in some way shape or form. Everything I have was given to me, I could have done nothing and got the same result.

I HATE MY LIFE AND I HATE AUTISM, I AM WORTHLESS AND WANT TO DIE.

Why must I continue to live life like this, I want it to end. Its not fair that other people have a life without disabilities.

Last edited by dcj123 on 16 Oct 2016, 8:31 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Your not as bad as you think you are..

I am or else the conflicts wouldn't multiple which is exactly what happened,

Holy s**t my thoughts are freaking out, I am just chilling but I am falling a part inside. It'll never get better, I am a bad person and I'll never be a better person. I don't even know how much of it is autism, I am just stupid. Natural selection would have killed me years ago if I didn't live in such a civil society.

If I had these kinds of thoughts last year I would have ended it no doubt, I can't tell if that is a good thing or not. That means for me to just exist, I am stronger then I was last year but f**k I am having serious suicidal thoughts.

I feel like by ignoring these thoughts that they will build up until I actually do hurt myself.

There is no way out, I can't ignore that the reality of who I am, who is a horrible person.

f**k,

Just have a song, I need to stop thinking.

Your not a horrible person,as you sound like someone whom has suffered torment for centuries. You continue to exist and that means something whether you wish to acknowledge such or not.

http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-help-dealing-with-your-suicidal-thoughts-and-feelings.htm

While the above link wasn't too unhelpful, I am basically doing everything on that page, I have been distracting myself for days. The only thing I haven't done is stop using drugs. I have been suicidal ever sinse my last social failure, drugs don't seem to have an effect one way or another and seems to make me less likely to do it even if the thoughts are worse. I don't know, f**k it. The article says to give distance between thought and action. Well s**t, I have been suicidal for a year now and I just ignore it. That is a lot of f*****g distance so maybe leaving this b***h isn't the incorrect solution.

dcj, you are a worthwhile person with a good intellect and a good heart. many of us have seen that about you. give yourself a chance to get to the place where you can see the good in yourself.

I do see the good in me but I see the bad too and there is more bad then good. I am f**k up, I have f****d everything up. I f**k up here just as much as f**k up everywhere else. I am a f**k up, I want to f*****g die. Life will never f*****g get better.

There hasn't been one aspect of my life that I haven't f****d up royally,

I hate my life, there is no cure for autism and most people don't want one anyway so f**k it all when I am dead and gone I say.

google "awfulizing."

Even if I look at my life with a positive prospect, it still f*****g sucks.

At best I don't see social rules and make social mistakes.

At worse I am f*****g nuclear explosion everywhere I go, everyone hates me and I would be better of dead.

f**k I can kill myself to both of those possibilities. If I don't see social rules then I'll never see social rules, I am disabled and worthless and would be better of dead. As for the second possibility then just f**k it all to hell.

you are young. you are smart. you can learn from your mistakes. i learned small talk after age 50 and am still improving at 60. a huge social faux pas cost me my license to practice medicine. i wanted to die. my advocate for getting benefits said i'd never work again. 20 years later, i am married and embarking on a new career. as winston churchill told a school for orphan boys: never give up.

i am going to bed. i suggest you do the same. or do some more awesome computer programming. or listen to music. do anything other than beat up on yourself.