Rants

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Nah, I don't they hate you at all, for I'm sure that your emotional reactions are due to 30 day ovulation term and nothing more.

lulz

How to talk to women 101

So tired of the autistic men here speaking for autistic women and explaining to us (incorrectly) what our own experiences have been. So f*****g tired of that s**t.

Stop speaking for autistic women, and stop making stupid generalisations about us based on gender! It's especially stupid to make sexist generalisations about a population known for being gender-nonconforming (as autistic people are known to be.) Enough with the "autistic women are like x" and "things are always like x for autistic women" BS! f*****g enough already!! !! !

I really don't get safe comedians.

What purpose do they serve?

It should cut close and sting slightly, otherwise it's not true comedy.

It's just a circle jerk.

Rather, my sister had erratic mood swings when she was much younger these days, tends to have a more milder personality, then again years pass and humanity sinks in.

Can't sleep,
Flashbacks,
In tears

Nuff said

I would like to be clear one more time and I'll never mention it again,

I couldn't function looooooong before any substance. I couldn't even go to school and had medical problems > age 13. Plus the first experience I had with anything was in the context of abuse very young so that has probably screwed me up in its own way. I am sure somethings have made my life worse but I am going to laugh if people tell me my life would have been pink rainbows and unicorns had I never touched them. Also a lot of meds did more harm then good so its a two way street, somethings I have done were probably not a good idea and some of the stuff prescribed to me, clearly wasn't a good idea. (Effexor had me trying to fly out the window of a hospital)

Also I am going to go do something unrelated to Wrong Planet for a while (etc, computer stuff) but I will rant and say that I HAVE SCREWED UP MY WINDOWS VM. It works and it works well but it has a problem now that the only obvious fix is a reinstall and that FREAKING SUCKS giving its remote location. I mean damn... I have a backup image of it with nothing installed but it wasn't booting last time I checked so

dcj123, so you use a virtual machine? I remember learning how to use VMware a couple years ago.

I am running Windows 7 in Qemu with PCI Passthrough on Arch Linux running on a remote computer in my closet. I am accessing Windows through RDP for speed, VNC just sucks by design and I game with steam in home streaming which I need to post about in my thread in the tech section for some more tips but laziness. I obviously took the network path but I still could use some ideas for increasing bandwidth between client and server, it looks like there were some options in my router that could help.

Right now I am on my Desktop in my bedroom playing with Windows remotely...

Screenshot?

I want to post something here but I don't think I can.

Someone hurt me and when I said something about it, I was blamed for it in the worse way possible

This is what keep me up last night

I am a horrible person and if I had a brain it wouldn't have happened

blaming the victim is a tactic employed by abusers and the ill-informed. please don't blame yourself.

^^ Just because they blamed you doesn't make you horrible or brainless . Being blamed is not the same as actually being in the wrong.

Was this an event from your past? I hate when memories like that crop up; when you're tired or emotional it's especially difficult to shut out the negative. Other people's views of you start to influence your own . I hope you had some success fighting it anyway, you could do with a decent night's sleep.

EDIT - NVM

Anyway yes I did get good sleep and I feel pretty good. I was crying a bit last night but I am okay now. I wonder if PTSD symptoms are worse when tired cause it seems that way a bit. Maybe I should stop staying up so late.

You have some very horrible memories, even if they're hazy. And I don't mean horrible like they reflect on you badly, I mean they are horrible things for you to have to bear. Was there anything in particular that reminded you of the incident last night, or did it just swim randomly into your consciousness? Virtual hugs don't really seem enough, but (((hugs))) anyway, serious hugs.

Oh wow I know that feeling. I used to rationalise it to myself by claiming I was compensating for my inability to read people naturally. Knowing more about them than they would willingly divulge is immoral, but it helped me with perspective. I don't do it any more, if I fail to read people I fail to read them, and that's it. I did get tempted the other day, but it's kind of unnecessary. Most people seem to have bizarre amounts of info readily available online if you care to look, but thankfully I'm not interested in most people.

glad you feel better. In my experience depression and anxiety get much worse when I'm tired, I wouldn't be at all surprised if PTSD was the same way. You have less energy to defend against yourself. Going to bed on time is hard though, damn you internet !

And Skyrim