Rants

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Tired of life.

Tired of Death

Too tired to care.

Too tired for the loss of my hair

If I had gotten help sooner, I wouldn't have had half the problems that I do now.

I could've just lived at dad's and had a normal high school life and on normal worldview, and not have had to go through anything.

Alternatively, I could've talked to you and worked it out a lot sooner and I wouldn't have had to deal with your.. mmmrghrg and maybe you could've gotten help.

If I'd reported the bullying, I wouldn't have had to deal with the freakazoid bullies who were stalking me in the eighth grade, or the dudes who kept harassing me in the hallway and in the classroom in a not-very-appropriate way.

That's so silly, and so stupid of you, younger me, to think that you have to do deal with everything alone. There were freaking counselors and teachers at school and therapists and friends that I could talk to, and I never talked to anybody.

YAAAARGH. To think, it's such a simple mistake, and if I did one thing, I could've prevented everything.

Everythiiiiiing.

I wished I could not have endured a bunch of psychological torment but, how could have I adverted such crisis's .Now on a daily basis I live with psychological torture that I never wanted nor wish to accept.
Maybe one day I'll free myself of this crap, but until then I'll do my best to be a good human being and not wind up becoming a tyrant as you had become.

I can't even rant properly.

What's a proper way to rant?

The definition of ranting is something which is not "proper."

I FEEL LIKE MY PARENTS HAVE DONE EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER TO SHOVE ME AWAY AND GET ME GONE. THEY DO MORE FOR EVERYONE BUT ME, THEY OFFER SUPPORT FOR MY BROTHER BUT NOT FOR ME. THEY HATE ME, MY DAD HAS TOLD ME HE HATES ME. HE HATES ME BECAUSE I AM AUTISTIC AND HAS TOLD ME SO.



THESE TEARS ARE FUELED BY DEATH, HOPELESS DEATH.



IF I TOOK MY LIFE, THEY WOULD BE HAPPY, THEY DIDN'T SHOW APPRECIATION THAT I WAS ALIVE.



DEATH AND DESTRUCTION.



NO ONE DID FOR ME, I DID FOR ME.

However...

I am okay because they can go to hell

Sorry, but I have nothing to give to you.

How would I know if that's what you need or want? Do you expect me to assume at all, let alone get it right?


And how dare you assume that I have the need or want, and justify that by giving me unasked things that I just so happened to accept?

Gained Number Post Count (1).
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Lose more time here - Updates at least once a week.

How do you expect me to know stuff from junior year when I don't even remember junior year?

"Well, you were there when they taught it."

Let's just pretend I didn't have a junior year. Let's just pretend I didn't learn anything. Let's just pretend that I haven't taken art for the past four years.

'Cause I was so out of it, I might as well've just not been there.

I don't know how the heck to explain that!