Depression

Post Reply New Topic

I would never use illegal drugs. I listen to trance music that I download some times, also some other music. I stay up late because when I go to bed I am too angry to sleep. I shout and scream in my room but nobody hears. I would otherwise take this advices but I just want to cease to exist

Everyone is different and the things that work for some may not work for others. Depression and Asperger’s Syndrome are known to go hand in hand. Sometimes it is because of our very nasty experiences in life or perhaps it is just because of how our brains are wired. For me it tends to be a bit of both. Like many others who are on the spectrum, I have been treated very badly by others. But I have also noticed that these moods do come and go without any external stimuli. It is almost as if the gears in my head cyclically fall out of sync and causes a jarring sense of disconnect. As it comes and so it passes. It can be difficult to look forward at the bottom of the pit, but I try to and that helps.

Exercise can also be very beneficial. I spend at least an hour every day exercising. My routine involves calisthenics like push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups and so on. I also walk a few miles each day to get to where I need to be and that helps much like a giant stim would. I usually work out until I sweat profusely and find that the exhaustion which comes from accumulating lactic acid in my muscles seems to reset my switches; an effect that is similar to “unlocking” my brain. If exercise is not your thing, try stretching. It sounds simple but if you do it right it can help you “reach” into the parts of the brain that is causing the problem. In a sense that is the premise of yoga.

But even as you write on this forum requesting help, you should know that none of us can actually do much for you because we are not you and do not understand your circumstances. Much of the advice that has poured forth actually calls for you to better understand yourself and to take control of how you choose to live your life.

Mosto, have you tried going on a gluten , ( and/or casein ) exclusion diet?

I used to experience recurrent depression, sometimes suicidal, and also hypo-mania, anxiety, etc.

Diet is the one thing that has really helped, completely.

.

I didn't walk to church on Sunday because I had to give my mum a lift. Then I slept from 2am this morning to 6pm this afternoon

This evening just after I made the post at 7:46 I had a major breakdown because I couldn't find the sheet to see if I was rostered and they rung me to ask why I wasn't at work. But no one saw me. Worst I have been in a few weeks. Not that it causes a problem. Very hard to stand up let alone make arrangements

Mosto,

Can I just say from my own experience...I was depressed at 18 for around four years. At that point I was experiencing much doom and wanted to end it all on many occasions. I was'nt medicated and I didn't seek any help for it whatsoever.

It got to the point where I knew that something had to change. I had to start to change my way of thinking. When you put effort into being positive... as hard as that is when you are depressed... you will attract new people and positive events into your life.

I look at my life now... have a great hubby and two beautiful kids. If I had of ended my life when I wanted to, I would never have had this wonderful life I have now.

What I'm trying to say is that you dont want to end it all now as you don't know what you will be missing out on later on, you just dont' know what is out there waiting for you.

EVERYONE has a purpose in life... including you. You were put on this planet to make a difference to someone or something.

Hang in there Matey, You are worth it and someone one day will prove it to you and hopefully you can prove that to yourself... good things will come... but you have to want them. Start doing things for yourself that are positive and positive will come your way.

Maybe I'm right? Maybe I'm wrong? But how will you ever know unless you give it a go

ETA: Dont give up searching for a good Doctor or Psych. I'm surprised there's not a Psych in Sydney who specializes in ASD's? They have to be out there...keep searching and keep chatting to people...

Maybe even start a journal and only write Positive things that have happened in your day. if it's only one positive a day you will soon build it up each day. Start off with small positives... it's a start Eg; I ate something I enjoyed, or I went 10min without feeling angry, I watched a program I enjoyed etc etc.

From a Mothers point of veiw... If any of my children commited suicide... It would be the end of me... It would kill me. My kids ARE my life. Please do not only yourself a favour, but your Mum too... She loves you dearly, trust me.

Thank you 2precioussouls, it's good that you have some children now and that you actually are happy about that. Thanks for encouragement. I have had very much anger tonight. I want to go to sleep now but I can't. My mum won't give me any more diazepam. Feel strange asking the doctor for another script which is one bottle only, 25 tablets, 250mg only. Your life became good. One person who I really look up to says that suicide is selfish. Some people say that it is cowardly. One website which claims to be Christians says all people who suicide go to heaven. I would post links but would probably get banned. Good ideas to say one thing good in a day. I just don't want to get better but that's not me talking. It's 2am here now no one is around, I just sit watch tv. If I go to bed there I will start screaming at God. My GP thinks that is because I am no longer on Largactil. No I know of know psychiatrists that know about Aspergers. Someone called Stewart Einfeld refused to see me after much red tape to get to talk to him in the first place. It said on TV today that the suicide rate in Australia has halved. They said the internet makes depressed people easier to reach out for help. In my case I can get useful information off the internet. If I survive I'll be put back in a place like Cumberland again. So I have to make sure I don't. You be getting a bit p**ed off about now because you all care about me and try to help me but I don't change. I should get private health insurance there's nothing better I can do with my money. But won't do me much good unless I "choose to get better". Yes my mum doesn't deserve to be sad. Sort of. Don't know what my purpose is. The worst times are times like now. When I realise there is no point. The best times are when I am asleep. What good thing happened today. I had a glass of diet lemonade. oh, and news of Andrew and Nick. Shame no one else at church appreciates it. They might if they had Aspergers

Mosto, I don't think you're "doing nothing to change." I think your coming here and posting time after time is a definite sign that you are trying to figure out how to help yourself. That it hasn't lit up your world like Christmas yet is okay....you're on the right road, doing what you can do. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, as they say, and right now your steps are to keep posting about how lousy you feel. That can open things up just enough for you to move a little higher out of the abyss, and then a little higher...till you've got a handle on what makes you feel this way and how to keep it at bay.

Nobody here's pissed at you for not suddenly being all "oh, wow! you guys are right! Now I'm feeling a thousand times better!" We've all been in that pit, and indeed, when you're there you DON'T want to feel better...so it's incredibly strong of you to post here in spite of that. Good work. Keep it up.

Yes I am posting here and soon I will see the new psychologist on 17th June. I will go to bed now see if I can go to sleep

My depression eased off a lot in my twenties, I only considered suicide once, as a teenager, and rejected it - with aspie 'rigid thinking' I never changed my mind about that. I'd only describe myself as a pessimist these days.

I do regard suicide as wrong, I know satan is always thrilled to get someone to top themselves, so why give him what he wants?

Anyways, hope you're feeling better.

I am in the last year of my twenties, no sign of the depression going away. Satan affects my thoughts of suicide only to the extent that God allows it. I get the gist of your point but what exactly is "wrong" about suicide? From the subject's point of view that is. I tried to talk about this with my pastors and they were very nice, and very gentle, and sincere in caring for me, I guess because they felt you should be very careful in what you say to a suicidal person, but did not answer my question. The closest I have ever come to an answer is two sermons from my previous pastor (who I regard as the best I've ever had), the first about how Jonah told God he would rather die than go and preach to the Ninivites, and he commented "This seems to be his answer to everything!" and Job's decision to ignore his wife's suggestion to "curse God and die". In both cases, the implication was that it's just silly to want to die, and that God didn't really take those comments too seriously (and by extention, that we, as Christians, should never have a valid reason to want to die). Of course, in both books, Job and Jonah, they had a happy ending. But is that guaranteed for everyone?