Anyone else feel there's nobody in the world like you?

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I almost wish I were, at this point.

Well, it boils down to, "What can you do to make things not so lonely?" I'll admit, that i go to a kind of semi-local group session (for males in the ASD), but because of the condition, i dont think many of us actually talk to one another (email or not). However, friends aside, the world does seem to alienate those that havent found a significant other. I think i said on another post that there are two women who have caught my eye, one of whom is seeing someone (so i keep a respectable distance). I have no idea about the involvement of the other, but I only see her if i happen to be visiting the place she works on days she is working. Im almost tempted to try that Aspie Love site (link provided on a Love and Dating sticky), but im wary of it and not sure it should be trusted.

Riddle me this (imagine that one's *not* crippled by social phobia):
what's the point of randomly talking to random folks to whom one's not attracted in the least?

You figure that question out, you're going to have a lot of us here PMing you in thanks.

On a more serious note, i think that its a way of saying, "Hi, I acknowledge your existence," or, "Hi, you seem interesting." Not necessarily dictated by attraction, but the need for social acceptance (for self and/or others), or something like that (there's another word im trying to think of, but cant get it out in the open ><). About all i can say otherwise is to watch some discovery channel documentary on apes, and you'll probably understand basic social principles.

Yeah, but most people *aren't* interesting, to me. I think that's partially why I was into New Wave/punk/g0th/etc. for so long - at least folks in those subcultures looked interesting, even if they really weren't.

I think you're supposed to fake being interested until the act gets so good that you can trick yourself into believing you really are interested... or something like that.

That might work for NTs, but it won't work for me. "Fake" and I don't play nicely together.

Well, it doesnt necessarily have to be fake. On one level is animal attraction (with respect to orientation), or if the person is doing something of interest (say a puzzle that you also enjoy), etc. Its the "art" of small talk . . . an art that most/all of us, for lack of a better word, fail at because it seems baseless and useless. But at the same time, its much like i mentioned . . . just people acknowledging the existence of the others that respond. Lately, Ive been in the habit of responding to a "Hey, how are you?" with a simple, "Doing fine, and you?" then move on. However, at times, it seems (Just a feeling rather than social interpretation of any kind) like they want the conversation to continue (small talk mode). At that point, im thinking, "What the hell am i supposed to talk about?" In all honesty, it seems kinda cliche to talk about something theyre doing, the weather, pointing out the obvious, etc. But at the same time, it seems like they expect it . . . so it seems like a no win situation either way.

though i am capaple of sustaining a "vacuum" for small periods at a time, that's not quite what i necessarily meant

if you can't vacuum, try neutral thoughts? upbeat? basically just anything other than the bothering factor.

try pretending it's a play and you're the lead actor, the story is the story of your life minus the offending factor or any of it's aftermath. just play your role dutifully. dive into it, become the character. not hard since you are, except just refusing to let that one negative thing affect your life. giving it censure, exiling it on sheer force of will, banishment from the chapters of your acceptance on it's role. override it. debunk it. may not be able to slay the dragon with one stab, but you can certainly weaken it, eh?

it's one technique, could try it.
i just make up stuff that sounds plausible as i go along
and silly metaphors

I am glad there is no one like me in the world, to quot Dr. Raoul Duke, aka Hunter S Thompson
"There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production.
Too weird to live, and too rare to die."
Take pride in your differences

Good quote, but sadly even we "mutants" are still the minority. Granted, i do like the analytical skills gained by AS, but at the same time i would like to have been able to experience things like others instead of worrying that my sensory is going to overload every time i try something "out of character."

i know i've heard that quote before. i just can't remember where.

it struck me as funny. dark humor

As I said before the trouble is the neutral and upbeat thoughts just don't come naturally to me like they do to you and others. I won't get any hope from trying to dance around the issue and pretend that I'm not lonely and unhappy. That might work for a while but it isn't sustainable. Even if there were no negative thoughts to bother me I'd still feel unhappy due to lack of stimulation. I need to find something that is truly rewarding to open up my emotions and allow me to feel again. I need something in my life that's missing.

Inspired by another members venn diagram avatar, I feel like I only "intersect" with a very small number of people, in a very small way

SinSister, gosh do I know what you mean about goth/punk/new wave...the tendency to assume this means some kind of mental kinship...and the disappointment when people into "your" stuff seem unoriginal and uninteresting or just plain dont "get" you...and results in an even greater sense of isolation. Yet at the same time, how is it possible to relate well to people who don't share any of these interests/influences? Stuck between a rock and a hard place. All of it

i can understand that i guess. mostly because that's how i used to be.
i guess the difference is that i found something semi-rewarding. i found my gateway.
and now i see clearly how silly such constant negativity was and how easy it was to escape and the mentality reality of it.
so i understand why such as yourself find it so hard to overcome.
and i just feel real sympathetic and try to help. even if like in this case it seems futile .
i guess you'll just have to find your own source to understand.
and i wish you luck in your search .

although just something to keep in mind. negativity feeds on itself, self-sustaining in a way. just be careful that it doesn't turn into chains. you make your own choices. and you expand your horizons by what you can bring yourself to do. to say "i can't" is to make it real. you set your own limitations in many cases. these are based in fear. sometimes you gotta be a little forceful with yourself and take the leap, or risk forever just standing at the edge wondering what could have been.

realizing this and doing what i've been afraid to do before, make bold moves etc, has by far been the most liberating revelation i've yet made of myself. i'm yet afraid of many things, know i'm different than anyone else, in some ways more so because of my AS. but i'm finally willing to try to change that.
people have asked, "what do you have to lose?"
i've thought to myself, "alot actually"

but now i realize, "is it worth it to lose nothing by standing still? i also gain nothing and the crushing doubt will just make me bitter over time. chances must be taken if there is to be positive change. is that not what we all try for? i can't keep standing still, i've got to put myelf out there if i want to change my outcome. that's one of the key differences between aspies & NTs seemingly isn't it after all? that we're so withdrawn? well, that won't change without huge effort on my part, people aren't just going to start flocking to me and asking to be friends because i will it. got to do some implementing of my own. trial and error, trial and error."

it's also helped in my case just to straight up tell people i become friends with that i have AS.
like "hey dude, i may seem pretty quirky, quiet, or awkward at times, but there's a reason. i'm not just a weird person, and i really don't try to be. understand what i'm saying?" and just explain the situation a bit sort of as a pre-emtive move so people don't make their own assumptions like that because i'm so quiet that i must be secretly be a serial killer or something
i've heard that one before from friends. "dude when i first met you i thought you were sorta weird. you seemed like the type who might come into class one day wih a shotgun or end up being a serial killer"
and i was like "haha wtf??? damn, good thing i set things straight then huh?"

Well it upsets me aswell. me and my sister were shopping in a store and I saw a calendar with a College football team (you know the colored team people) Well I said something like that's sad or stupid (not sure which) My sister said why I said well he's rooting for some football team when College should be about getting a career etc. and she said something that resignates with me to this day "Most people don't think like you" I said oh and that comment made me understand myself better for better/worse she's right People don't think like me which as Spider-man said is both a blessing and a curse. (Love that saying from Spider-man because IMO it fits my main behavior issues.