Aspergers SUCKS.

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I am aware of my AS and try to adapt, change, work on my social skills, ect.. But no matter how hard I try, I still get shot down by women, rejected, not even given a chance. I asked a few women why they don't want to go out with me and they just say " I don't know, just somethign about you" I have a good job, a nice house in my names, I am able to pay my bills and all that, but potential partners still are able to sense I'm different due to my AS so that freaks them out. Not having someone in my life is making a huge emotional void in my life. I'm not talking about sex, but a relationship. Its the only thing I really long for. But no matter how hard I try, everyone rejects me without giving me a chance. I have been rejected all my life, I'm 41. Been getting rejected since high school. So should I just say "hey I have AS, I'm going to go out and know I am going to get shoot down." Or should I not even try at this point so I know I won't get hurt. After working on yourself and trying to change, learn social skills, ect and nothing works for about 25 years, seems to me I am meant to be alone so why try.

I feel what you are saying is like " well I'm blind, but that won't stop me from driving. I am not going to let my disabillity rule my life."

Well, my wording is likely off/a bit exaggerated, but the general point remains valid. A blind person wouldnt drive a car, but that wouldnt keep him/her from using a computer, reading a book, or becoming a "productive member of society" one way or another. I'll admit that ive had the social issues and that i had my Dx about 11 months ago . . . I accept AS because it describes why Ive had difficulties, social or otherwise. I cannot hate it because its a part of me . . . but, since i now know what it encompasses, i can handle some of my previous pitfalls a bit easier. As for the companionship issue, I wouldnt say give up, but i also wouldnt go looking for it. Something i learned is that you can go looking for what you want, but sometimes you'll come across something you need. Sometimes sitting in plain view instead of a corner will pique someones interest, sometimes it wont. Just realize that nothing in life is guaranteed, but not all things need your direct approach to get the desired effect. The waiting game is a pain, but it can payoff with fewer letdowns. But, bear in mind, this is a hard time given the financial issues and whatnot so women are struggling just like men. Some probably dont know how to be sure of you as well.

i know i can not control what happens to me but as long as it is not tortuous, then i am complacent.
i am content with how i perceive things and i am happy i can avoid things i do not like.
who cares what impact i have on the external world? not even me.
i am quite relaxed and i know that most people in my isolated situation would feel incomplete, but i feel totally complete without any endorsement.
i do not think i am better than anyone, but i just feel as if i do not want things to be any other way than they are.



all that is truly determinable from what you say is that you are not happy with how things are for you. it is more a matter of temperament rather than external events that is the reason for happiness.
i am as happy as "larry" that it is raining hard outside and i am soon going to go to my warm bedroom to sleep. i need nothing else for now.
i certainly do not need another person's "attitude" with me that has ideas i have to give time to. i like to be alone because i can go unrestrained in whatever direction i please.



yes they love their lives and you hate yours. if you had what they had you would probably still hate your life because it is a condition that you have.

i do not understand or share peoples happiness that i see, but i do not feel jealous of it because i do not want what they have, and if i had it, i would probably throw it away.

i am happy that people are happy because it settles them down.

Nothing is getting better.

I'm starting to get really angry, and now I'm turning all of that anger onto myself, because there is no other medium. All my many flaws outweigh the tiny good qualities, and I feel like there's no reason for me to live. My throat's sore, and I haven't screamed yet. I feel like I'm gonna go crazy.

Man I know how bad that feels, for I am feeling it, right now. If I said that you just have to wait, and things will sort themselves out, would you listen? No... so what can I say? I want to tell you not to kill yourself, but I doubt that'll help. You see you're convinced that no one feels the same way you do, and no one cares... and there is nothing I can say, nothing that will stop you thinking that.

I feel the way you do, I care. Things will get better. There is reason for you to live. No one understands your position? Everyone on this whole, f*****g website understands your position. Quitting doesn't let everyone else win, it only makes you loose. So a group of kids told you that you’re a little f**k? There the little f***s. God can go f**k himself, don't give him the satisfaction of watching you suffer.

Look I'm about to say something that a lot of people won't like, but you have to trust me on this.

You don't like having Asperger’s? Well then don't have it. Fight it. Talk to people, talk to them just like 'normal' people do. You got that. If you don't talk enough, talk more, if you talk too much, talk less. Simple. Try walking 'normally'. I am NOT saying that you shouldn't be yourself, oh no, just try to be less... aspieish... if that's what you want.

You're a good person. You deserve a good life, so you shall get one.

Well there is one thing I think works for me: Weed!

I also have great resentment,
I've been through the full list of issues - depression, self-esteem issues, social anxiety etc
and now know the underlying issue is AS.

I am extremely intellectually gifted as well as very good at "doing" things
eg cooking, carpentry, building/flying model airplanes and many other "difficult" things
but it sucks to be good at something but still be on the periphery of the social aspects
and see all you friends move on in life and no longer can hangout with you as they have their families to see about and their wives only want to hangout with other families.

The worst part is that we are not in ignorance bliss as AS are smart enough to know the issues and the fact that they are for the most part stuck with us and unchangeable.
Ignorance is really bliss as they say.

Sorry, but I have to agree it reeks. I have often tried to imagine what it would've been like without being Aspie and I cannot as it has negatively impacted my life greatly.

If you believe that being Aspie is great well I'm happy for you as you may be a bit more HF then I am or have had more positive experiences. I see a councilor who is an Aspie and she thinks it's aOk, but then again she is a gifted artist and has a Masters ect.

For myself I've never truely had a descent full time paying job and that is a stressor as a one income marriage. I do have a BA, but that doesn't do much good when one has traits that make you standout in a crowd.

I now tend to stay isolated which makes it difficult to be a well rounded wife and mother IMHO. Having PA's and Social Phobia doesn't help any of the other Apsie characteristics I live with.

It seems my daughter is ADHD and may be somewhat Aspie. It is difficult for me as I worry about her now and pray she doesn't have the rotten life experiences I have had. I don't know how to teach her to love herself when I don't

As a kid, all the time, I'd wish that I were somebody else. The other kids treated my name like a curse, the way they'd spit it out, "eeww, it's her" and I'd look at other kids who weren't tormented the way I was, who had friends, who weren't treated like lepers, and I'd wish so hard that I were them. Then I'd puzzle for a long while, trying to understand the whole concept. If I were them and were still me, eventually whatever it was that caused everyone to hate me, they'd see in the "them" that was actually me, and the new me would be hated too. If I were them and still them, it wouldn't be me, so that didn't make any sense. I never did figure that whole thing out.
It would have been nice, at the time, to at least have a label to blame. As I knew it at the time, it was just me that was the problem, there wasn't a disorder. I was the disorder, I was the problem, and I never knew why.
I'm not completely sure what my point is.. just that hating the disorder seems at least a tad better than flat-out self-hatred. It's part of you, but at least you can separate it.

Maybe it's not positive for you, it has been for me though

I'm sorry you experienced such abuse and ill treatment. I hope you have some good people in your life now as an adult. And that is something I should try to focous on. Hating the disorder and not blaming and hating myself.

Cool. Then I'm happy for u.

I hate it and I want to kill myself because of it. I'd rather have a social gift than any other "gifts" that probably don't exist in me anyway.

That's a stupid attitude.

Think of it like this: whether or not you like it, the fact is you have it and nothing can change that. So why not make the most of it?

DarkBBastion, people can have AS mild to severe. Those that have it mild don't find it as much as a burden as you do.
I go through periods of feeling fine to feeling depressed. I don't work and I'm not independent and sometimes that gets to me. I try to fill my day with so many activities so that I don't feel bored and start thinking negative thoughts about myself. It is hard but I try to press on. There's not really anything else I can do. I've had depression before and it's something that I don't want to go through again.
Pitying yourself and hating having AS is not going to make your life any easier. Instead, use your AS for good - pick up a few interests or learn a new skill. When you get angry or upset about it do something that you enjoy. Eat something that you enjoy.
There are people out there with disabilities far worse than AS. I once went to a christmas party for people with a disability. I felt saddened seeing people confined to wheelchairs and not able to communicate properly and it made me stop being so hard on myself, because I can walk, communicate and do so much more than they can. I didn't feel superior to them but I know that I shouldn't feel that my life is nothing.

I can see the good qualties about having Asperger's, but it has caused me way more grief than good