Any reason at all?

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For a part time job try libraries. You can get a job shelving books (probably minimum wage,) but no one bothers you.

I think that is one of the best pictures I have of myself, it really reflects who I am and how I feel.......if I was a musician I would use it as an album cover. Also without money or judging being an issue it's hard to say as that is contrary to what my life has been, but I imagine i would be putting more effort into various interests and trying to progress. But anything I have ever wanted to do has been shot down because everyone like to tell me how incapable and stupid I am whenever I try to do anything.

That is precisely my point from earlier. Everyone else is the problem. You are just you. People like to think of themselves as individuals.. that they can succeed or fail only on their own gumption and merit. It's simply not true. Your interactions with other people, throughout your entire life, all go into making who you are. If you are surrounded by negative people, you become negative. If you are surrounded by even people who have ups and downs.. you are typically alright.. and if you surround yourself with people who are always happy.. especially when you aren't happy.. it can be even more disastrous than being around negative people.

I had exactly the same problem, when I was in highschool, because of my neurological problems.. they put me in special ed with the kids who lit fires and peed themselves.. I eventually became convinced I was to stupid to be able to do anything else. No matter how frequently people told me otherwise.

It wasn't until I made myself go to college, and without even trying I started getting really good grades.. and funny looks from the teachers.. that I began to shed those thoughts of myself.. I still suck at math.. but no one is good at everything.

What do you do about negative emotions that exist even before you have any idea where they originate? I don't know if non-chronically-depressed or bi-polar people really understand how much of a slave they are to their own brain's biochemistry.

this is the haven not the criticize depressed users forum.
Perhaps if you had PTSD then you would understand. Apathy is more poison than any of the emotions mentioned and your post was filled with it.

Sweetleaf, I have no job either. The system has obviously failed if so many people have no jobs.
Music and long walks make me feel better. Perhaps you should go on a very long walk with music in your ears.
That's the only thing that keeps me sane.

How do you mean?

Anyway, sitting idle allows current problems to build up. You also become lethargic, or develop a cycle of behaviours that makes it more difficult to confront whatever it is that's bothering you, whatever it may be. I would think the only way out is to prepare some kind of solution to your problems. Develop skills that will help you, alter your life in some way that will help you. If you want a way out you have to keep trying things.

I don't have a solution. I'm in a very similar position and I feel like time is rapidly running out. I'm probably permanently behind my peers now. In your case you need a job, or some form of income. It won't solve all your problems but it's a start. Do everything you can to get one. Work with friends/family to build up a decent resume, look online if you have to. Start applying everywhere you can. Let everyone you know know that you're looking for work.. eventually, odds are you'll find something. Guess you just have to endure all those negative thoughts in the meantime.

I'm not going to say it's worth the effort... I'd be lying, since I can't say I feel it's worth the trouble of fixing my own problems and I don't fully understand yours.

Last edited by The_Perfect_Storm on 06 Feb 2012, 10:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

1. Not as simple as just stopping since there is a chemical imbalance in the brains of people suffering from depression.

2. In my case I'd probably be doing exactly what I'm doing now. But money is an issue. And judgment IS an issue.

3. Yes. Poison. But, what if I or Sweetleaf or anyone else IS seeing the world for what it is. If you think everyone has the means to be happy in this world you are the delusional one.

I feel like nothing will make me feel any better, i just want a job so I can afford to not worry about it and accept what comes. i mean in reality how am I supposed to survive if everthing is going to sh*t everything I've ever cared about.

I don't know. Make it work or find something else.

I think there's a kind of pop-existentialist philosophical leaning that is very prominent in Western culture that tries to be helpful but can be oppressive at times. It's the thing where we teach our kids "you can be whatever you want", "life is what you make it", etc... There's such intense focus on the ideas of free-will, freedom of choice, and struggle being character building. I get tired of it after a while. If the only point of existence is grasping and clawing for your own way it reaches a point where it ceases to be motivating. I don't think all people are built to think like existentialists/rugged-individualists. Not everyone finds the idea of "freedom" and life being a quest to prove oneself against adversity and become the Ubermensch. It's especially annoying being told how free you are when you see so many walls being thrown up in your face. I find eastern philosophy a little more tolerable than the bald faced lies of the existentialists.

God, I'm rambling now. Sorry.

uhh, life sucks then you die..................i guess I should just try to enjoy it while it lasts, i am just so disturbed by the state of society and the world.

uhh, life sucks then you die..................i guess I should just try to enjoy it while it lasts, i am just so disturbed by the state of society and the world.

I agree entirely. But then I watched the movie "13th warrior" one of the characters says the following

"The All-Father wove the skein of your life a long time ago. Go and hide in a hole if you wish, but you won't live one instant longer. Your fate is fixed. Fear profits a man nothing. "

'
yeah I am sort of starting to agree with that sort of thing..............i mean whats the point of living if I'm not even going to live. I can either die in the cold or keep trying to go. I do have some nordic decent so I guess I have the viking thing going for me.

it lead me to do more research and I found this passage in the Poetic Edda.

Not all sick men are utterly wretched:
Some are blessed with sons,
Some with friends,
some with riches,
Some with worthy works.

70

It is always better to be alive,
The living can keep a cow.
Fire, I saw, warming a wealthy man,
With a cold corpse at his door.

71

The halt can manage a horse,
the handless a flock,
The deaf be a doughty fighter,
To be blind is better than to burn on a pyre:
There is nothing the dead can do.


Whenever I feel depressed, feel worthless, feel as if I have nothing to live for and I'd be better of ending it.. I go back and re-read that and remind myself of that bolded fact. It's a very enlightened view of disability, considering it was written in a time when subsistence farming was the norm. It means everyone plays a part, even if it's completely mundane. You are part of a larger whole, the whole is lessened without your presence. Maybe it won't be as helpful to you as I found it.. but coming across that.. it just put it all into perspective. I've done a lot to bring my life around since I changed my philosophy.

I didn't read through all the posts, but I have a suggestion about a job. Call some of the companies that place temps. Not all of it is office. They have lots of things. Hell, to make some money for right now you could push a broom at construction sites. That would give you some cash that you could save and buy a car, or you could do it until they find you something else. You get paid every day, and you can choose which days you want to work. You should call then and see what they have, and what you need to do. Finding out about it can't hurt anything. Call several of them though, find out which ones are your best bet.