Society makes me sick

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You should first imagine that happening .Would that be a realistic dream? Not in the worlds eyes. The problem with autism is that you would be oblivious to all of the social cues that say that you would suck. but then again why should you care what people think?

For me I like listening to the classic rock genre. But that music is not going anywhere. Its like all those millionaire rock stars are too busy protecting their wealth to come up with any new songs. Maybe age took its toll but I still think its possible to be young at heart.

It is tough dealing with the turmoil of society when your internal life is filled with turmoil too.

I think you have the answers in that head of yours, there's just too much unresolved stuff getting in the way. If you can find some peace, I think you will figure things out. You've got a good head on your shoulders, I can tell that from your posts.

Try the counseling center you mentioned.

When I went back to therapy a little over a year ago, I was scared. I wasn't scared that it wasn't going to work, I was scared that it would work and then I would have to change everything and be someone else. After the initial meeting, I was so filled with anxiety I was up all night. I needn't have worried. I'm still me, I wear the same things and eat the same things and take the same meds. But things are better than they were before.

When I am in a good place mentally, I can laugh at society because it truly is ridiculous.

And now for something completely different. YOU CAN SING? THAT IS SO COOL!

Yes, society f*****g sucks. And AS f*****g sucks. And the way society approaches AS f*****g sucks.

It's not going to stop sucking any time soon.

You can't really do much about it, because other people's suckage is outside of your control.

The only point to learning to "act NT" is that, some of the time, in the hundreds of stupid superficial interactions that are part of adult life, it protects you from getting sucked at by sucky people who are just looking for excuses to act like they suck.

What can you do?? Lots of stuff. I know this sounds like a cliche, but you are 22 years old. You are young and strong and free. Just-- GO!! !! As long as you're not trying to hurt anyone, you can do just about whatever you want (as long as you don't get caught smoking a joint).

Try not to suck yourself. You are going to suck sometimes, because you are human and humans suck. Try to suck less than other people.

Do things that don't suck. In fact, do things that unsuck. Find something you're good at and volunteer doing it. I know how cliched that sounds but it's really fun. Good with your hands?? Build houses. Good with animals?? Head for the local pound. Call un a rescue-- I guarantee there is more than one where-ever you are at. Good listener?? Find a nursing home or a homeless shelter or something. Don't know what you're good at?? Try a soup kitchen. You'll make connections.

No, it doesn't pay. And I know you're broke. But it's a start. And it pays in other ways. Money is necessary, yes, but less so than people think.

I used to do it before I decided to raise kids for free. A lot of them are so grateful for a warm body and two capable hands that they don't care if you're "strange" or "awkward" or whatever. Because you're right-- society does suck. It sucks a lot. And there is a great dearth of people willing to do anything about the suckage.

Find people that don't suck. Look for people that unsuck. Shitcan the idea of a conventional life unless you want it really, really ardently-- and I don't think you do. Hey-- I'm a mommy and a housewife, but I'm pretty damn unconventional. More "Hillbilly Princess" than "Soccer Mom."

Become a rock star?? Maybe not-- that's a pretty sucky life. Celebrity is just f****d the f**k up. Ultimate suckage, dude. Become a hippie or something. Join a commune. Become a social justice crusader. Environmentalist. Check out Frances Moore Lappe-- I think you'd really like her. There's all kinds of stuff out there-- on the radical left and the radical right (and even in the radical middle).

Advice from personal experience, because several times in my life I have identified WAAAAY too much with that album-- THE ONLY SONG ON "THE WALL" YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO IS "OUTSIDE THE WALL." Give that damn thing away and listen to Bob Dylan or Peter, Paul, and Mary or Blind Melon or something. I don't know what, I don't know what you like, but listen to something else. If you have to go dark and metal, give Queensryche a shot. Operation: Mindcrime is a really good album. It's loud and mechanical and angry and I-hate-the-world but at least it's not as depressing as The Wall.

If you have to listen to Pink Floyd, try Dark Side of the Moon instead.

Not Soul Asylum, either. It's not much better.

I believe we live in a sick society, and sometimes the impaired like us are somewhat more normal than what society is telling us is normal.
While realizing what society is can be both depressing and disappointing (especially since we stem from it) consider your realization a gift of knowledge after coming to a similar conclusion I now spend more time trying to get what I can out of society and better my own life, rather than try and fit in and better it on the principles set by others. I'm happier for it. Consider it to be split into these stages:

1) What's wrong with me?
2) What's wrong with everyone else?
3) Everything's messed up!
4) Screw it, what can I do for fun, life and stuff?
5) Ahhhhh...that's better

I'd say you are pretty much at number 4 now, so not long to go before you can smile (some more) !

I'm a massive Pink Floyd fan too sweetleaf, music is pretty much the only thing that keeps me going. The Wall is one of my favorite albums. Nice knowing there's someone else on here who appreciates them too. The Wall and Piper at the Gates of dawn are so personal to me. I have a massive Have a Cigar poster on my wall (from the single)

I wish i could be in a band, not for the fame or attention, i don't want that i don't need that. It seems like the only position i could be in where i would be able to write songs and vent my anger at society.

But its never gonna happen.

Society makes me soo sick as well and that's why I plan on doing something about it... but lots of times I wish I could just escape... in fact I have thought it all out here let me know what you think y'all...

Okay so perfect life would be me living on an undiscovered island (tropical climate btw) and this island would be bountiful in resources like robinson carusoe or Swiss family... so I would be on this island with all I need for basic survival but what else would I want? First off I would HAVE to have a generator and wireless access as well as ipodtype device so I can have my music I would be like listening to Pandora or my ipod while I am doing daily stuff lol... okay so once I have that I can basically make anything else I need except there is one thing left... yes I know I like to be alone but I don't think I could do that. For rest of my life so I would have to have a female partner with me... one with a great personality (and if she happens to be a redhead with a smoking hot body well that will work out just fine too ).. then it may be nice to have one of my best friends or just another person and their spouse also on the island.. we would.live in our own houses and it would be nice if rhetoric were aspies too that way we could leave eachother alone when we needed personal time... well that's it any thoughts?OH! And my island would also have bunches of animals but especially a group of orangutans (I love orangutans)