being ugly

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Booyakasha
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14 Aug 2012, 4:31 pm

Tequila wrote:

Booyakasha wrote:

Appearance DOES NOT matter - if someone loves you they will love you even if you have two sets of arms and legs and really look like a moose.

They might not be particularly sexually attracted to you if you're spectacularly ugly though, or I'd imagine the likelihood would be less so, I'd imagine. That said, that could go for anyone I guess.

Dunno, I know I would have liked him even if he looked like a sumo wrestler on whom some acid have been thrown...because of his inner qualities. The most profound and deep person I had ever met....sigh. And the one most sensitive about his looks as well. I honestly couldn't have cared less about it.

On the other hand I see no signs of any kind of ugliness on that picture meems posted. It is either insomnia and depression that are bothering her, "friends" who are insensitive or a case of body dysmorphic image disorder, or some (or all) of that combined.

Last edited by Booyakasha on 19 Aug 2012, 6:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

DiscardedWhisper
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14 Aug 2012, 4:58 pm

Colinn wrote:

Not sure why this needed a thread of its own. It just seems like a big attention seeking extravaganza opposed to discussing appearances in general. Like anything else, physical attraction is subjective. You may seem ugly to others or even to yourself, but there will always be people that will at least find you some what attractive. Plus, it is the person you are that counts, not how easy you are on the eyes.

DiscardedWhisper wrote:

Why would you put your picture on the internet? Especially if you think you're ugly. People get a hold of a picture of someone and they'll do horrible, horrible things with it. Not only that, if you get away from those people. You've give them a tool to track you down and pile on more grief. Putting your picture on the internet is probably the second dumbest thing a person can do short of jumping out of an airplane @ 20,000 ft w/o a parachute.

Take it you're not a fan of facebook then? :lol:

Sounds like you are pretty paranoid, or you have went through this kind of experience yourself. Hopefully its not the latter.

I'm gonna plead the 5th on that one.

meems
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14 Aug 2012, 5:07 pm

It seems like it would be more attention seeking for me to post about this in an inappropriate place rather than making a thread to talk about it by itself. This thread wasn't meant to discuss appearances, rather I meant for it to be an outlet to discuss some deeper issues with physical appearance being the superficial manifestation of those issues.

How could someone track me based on a picture? Why would anyone track me down in the first place?

I would sleep if I could, it seems like I've tried every prescription sleep med known to man. Even when I don't have trouble falling asleep, I wake up too soon and can't fall asleep again. It's been a problem since I was a kid. That alone has lead to a death wish.

Colinn
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14 Aug 2012, 5:23 pm

meems wrote:

It just seemed like it would of been more suitable elsewhere in The Haven, like "Rants" as that what it seemed like to me, a rant. I hope you keep the last line of my message in mind though. I can't judge your appearance as I never saw your picture, but others seemed to disagree that you were ugly. As I said, physically attraction can be a pretty subjective area. But at the same time, I get the feeling that no matter how many people tell you, you will still feel the same. Remember, its what you think about yourself that matters. Try not to be so critical about yourself

meems
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14 Aug 2012, 5:35 pm

I hope I haven't given the impression that what other people think has lead to my thoughts about myself. That generally isn't something I allow to be dictated by the thoughts of others.

I've hated how my face looks since I can remember. It doesn't matter if people do or don't think I'm ugly. The problem is how much it's eating away at me lately that I can't stand to look at my own face. Change my thoughts? What a fantastic solution, but it doesn't make it true to me just because I repeatedly tell myself a lie.

Ugly isn't a universally uniform look, to me, I look ugly.

I'm going to start volunteering at my old job at the AIDS resource center, hopefully the distraction will do some good.

meems
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14 Aug 2012, 7:28 pm

It's storming like none other right now. Like every good waste of space, I have the desire to dip into my painkillers(I don't bother taking them usually) and go for a swim.

How typical my death would be!

DiscardedWhisper
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14 Aug 2012, 8:11 pm

meems wrote:

How could someone track me based on a picture? Why would anyone track me down in the first place?

And why would someone make up something like that? People do crap like that, they don't need a reason. Some people will do it just for their own amusement.

I don't put anything past the primordial ooze that calls the intrawebz home.

Vigilans
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14 Aug 2012, 8:45 pm

Colinn wrote:

DiscardedWhisper wrote:

Take it you're not a fan of facebook then? :lol:

Sounds like you are pretty paranoid, or you have went through this kind of experience yourself. Hopefully its not the latter.

This is the haven, where people go to hopefully get useful advice. Coming into a thread started by someone clearly upset and looking for kind words and accusing them of being an attention seeker and being dumb is really a dick move, you should be ashamed of yourselves

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Vomelche
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14 Aug 2012, 8:55 pm

Yeah symmetry is considered beatiful, but too much of it I find is kind of boring, imperfections give it a more natural look. I dont think anyone is perfect at that anyway.

I also noticed that when you are in distress your body looks different/bad, especially the face. Really being in a bad mental state actually makes people look uglier than they would relaxed.

DiscardedWhisper
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14 Aug 2012, 10:58 pm

Vigilans wrote:

Way to miss the point, Sherlock. :wall:

meems
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14 Aug 2012, 11:09 pm

Nah, he's right. Cease, please. No one is going to hunt me down and terrorize me. Though I'm surprised at this point in sleep deprivation hell that I'm not getting paranoid at the mere suggestion.

DiscardedWhisper
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15 Aug 2012, 3:46 am

meems wrote:

Nah, he's right. Cease, please. No one is going to hunt me down and terrorize me. Though I'm surprised at this point in sleep deprivation hell that I'm not getting paranoid at the mere suggestion.

Sorry, I'll be sure to clear it with y'all next time I dare to have an opinion on something. :hmph:

meems
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15 Aug 2012, 5:41 am

Are you just trolling me or what? You call me dumb, tell me someone is potentially going to stalk me and do whatever insane things in my real life, and think because I'm asking you to stop that I'm telling you that you aren't entitled to your own opinion?

There is no where else on the forum where I would ask you to back off, but in a thread where I'm exposing vulnerability, I can't deal with being told I'm risking a stalker invading my life etc. etc.

I'm just asking you to stop.

DiscardedWhisper
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15 Aug 2012, 5:54 am

I never once called you dumb. I said the act of posting one's picture on the internet was dumb. I have my reasons for thinking this and while it probably won't happen to you, I've seen it happen before. I don't know you, I have no reason to troll you and never intended to do so in the first place. I hate trolls with an unbridled rage, it would be hypocritical of me to act that way.

Jesus. If I had a dime for every time people misinterpreted my intentions, I'd have $122.50.

meems
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15 Aug 2012, 6:33 am

Well, in that case, if you ever find a way to start charging people for misinterpreting your intentions, charge way more than a dime. And charge Jesus double.

Kjas
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15 Aug 2012, 7:29 am

meems wrote:

I don't know how to make a case for myself being ugly, I'm exactly what I think of as hideous and I've had plenty of people agree to that. One of my friends who is vulgar and crass but who loves me has made the joke repeatedly that I'm the only ugly chick he would bang.(we say much worse things than that when around one another, it's just how we get on) I don't think a friend has any reason to lie to me about me looking homely.

Example: I don't know why I made the MS Paint clown nose
http://tinypic.com/r/yp9w9/6

I don't even know what plastic surgery could possibly fix the combination of flaws that make my reflection unbearable. I'm completely freaked out to post that, all of two or three people on WP know what I look like.

It's just so screwed up that I'm female and I feel like it's been drilled into my head my whole life that the best thing I could ever be is beautiful and I'll never be that, the thing I'm supposed to be.

It's not the end of the world but it eats me up sometimes.

About the bolded part: I would be questioning what ideal you are holding yourself up to? And where did this ideal come from?

I'm asking that because it's very easy for women, even very good looking women, to consider themselves ugly if they are constantly comparing themselves to some ideal that does not exsist or is so rare that it applies to the most miniscule part of a percent of the population.

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