Dear "You"...From "Me"-Letters Unsent

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Dear State of Ohio,

Your driving classes are a joke. I am fully aware that a red, eight-sided sign with the white letters "STOP" across it means that I need to stop. I also know that racing down ice will not end well. What's your point and why did I need to $350 to learn stuff I all ready knew?

Also, you need to check who works for you. The woman who teaches my class tells us all these stories about her daughers, who apparantly crash quite frequently. If she can't teach her own kids how to drive, what makes her qualified to teach us?

Sincerely,
Heather


Dear Ms. Driving Teacher Lady,

Your classes are really boring. It's a 4 hour waste of my life. I could be getting homework or job work done. I spent all of last class trying to plan out an English project. From last weekend on, I plan on wearing every t-shirt I own that has some sort of insulting saying written on it. It's directed to you, just in case you didn't notice. It does fit the other students though. Oh, and I don't usually wear that much eyeliner, but I realized that you leave me alone if you think I'm gothic, so I dress and act the part. It's working.

Also, here's a tip: "Don't kill no one," "I seen people," and "them salt trucks" is not proper grammar. I do not care where you are from - I know it's not the South, by the way - you should be able to speak proper English if you're teaching me. I'm a perfectionist, and your poor speaking skills distract from the all ready missable lesson.

I'm no fashion expert, but please pick whether you want to tuck or untuck your shirt. The half-in half-out look does not work. If I may suggest, wear it out. Or pull your pants higher. I don't really care.

Finally, stop leaving the room every time you put on a movie. The moment you shut the door, everyone pulls out their cellphones and starts text-messaging. They talk as they do that. Did you know that the girls who sit behind me have sex with everything that moves and posseses a set of male organs? They yip about that very loudly. I can't hear the movie over them, and since you turn off the lights, I can't read or draw. They're really annoying. Please either stay in the room or leave the lights on.

Oh, and before I forget: I hate where I live too, so get over it. I certainly didn't ask to live in the rich town and quite frankly, I hate it. My peers sterotypical reaction to it was enough, thank you. Until you learn more about me, stop assuming that I'm a spoiled brat who lives in a ten floor mansion and gets away with everything. I don't. I also don't appreciate being portrayed as evil by someone who doesn't even know me.

Sincerely,
Heather

P.S. Stop telling stories. They're really boring, you repeat everything, and no one listens. Not everyone is going to get into crashes like your daughters beloved, so stop acting like it.

P.P.S. Quit reading the moral thoughts and trying to give us a guilt trip. You suck at it. And no, I don't feel like imagining what those boys who were hill jumping and injured some lady feel like. And I don't care what that boy who hit and killed his uncle's girlfriend feels like all alone at night. I guess I'm just cold like that.

P.P.P.S. I have no respect for you. I know that you don't care, but I do. I spend all week dreading Sundays now.

Dear Person who I thought was a friend,

If you want to ruin your life and hang out with druggies like them, then fine. But don't sit with themand whisper and glance my way then pretend everythings the same when you talk to me!

Dear friend,
I'm sorry I became suicidal last night; I couldn't help it. I promise to always be nice, even though you hate me right now. And you know who you are.
-Sophie

Dear Nasty Zelda fans,

Just because I don't want a Wii, doesn't mean I don't like Zelda games. I can't get a Wii, and TP doesn't interest me. I like childish Zelda games, so get over it.

From, IronStalfos, GoldRequiem and any other name I used on a Zelda forum.

Dear spammer from my site:

YOU HAVE NO CHANCE,I'LL MAKE YOU PHAIL YOU DAMNED CONFORMIST!! !! !

-Aaron

Dear internet,

WTF? Thanks a lot!! !! !

Dear person I shall not name,

I will not become a failure at life, you will.

From, Ashleigh.

Dear Boss,

I am absolutely sick of the fact that you micro-manage me daily. I'm sick of the interference and the way you screw up all my carefully constructed relationships with people in other departments, by trying to throw your weight around too much. Don't you flaming well understand how much effort it takes me to build working relationships with people - and then it can be all ruined by one stupid e-mail or badly chosen word.

Worst of all is the way you take all the credit for my achievements. That absolutely sickens me. Do you really think that because you shouted at someone that they did the job quicker? No, it just meant that I had to spend extra time calming them down and still keeping them on-side. But will I ever get any credit for this - no! Because you think that by getting people dumped on by their bosses that they work better

With love & kisses xxxx

Dear Meant-To-Be Love:

Please come to me...


-SpaceCase

Dear Person That I Shouldn't Really Name,

You are being a brat. Stop trying to act like you know everything when in reality you can't even form a sentence properly. Furthermore, I am telling the truth, so screw you if you don't believe me. I'm seriously angry right now, because now every time I go to that particular thread I expect the worst. I liked that thread too.

Sincerely,
Heather

P.S. You started it, so don't give me that crap about insulting you. I can see how you could misunderstand my post, and I explained. It's your fault that you refuse to believe me. Trust me, if I wanted to lie, I would make up a far more convincing story.

Dear summer (season)
I.AM.SO.SICK.OF.YOU!! ! You have been going on here since mid October and your'e STILL going on! There's a drought going on right now and your'e not helping a bit! Also I'm sick of stinking up my favourite tops every time I step outside! I say let's move onto autumn! Come on, we need the rain more than anything now!
Yours truly,
Mel.

Dear Mum,

This is a positive letter. Thankyou for shagging in the 70s instead of the 60s. Twenty would have been too young of an age to have had me as a child. I also would have been scared of the tall stoned up hippies who walked the streets of your part of Canada. I also find that as this wonderful year of 2007 progresses, that it's actually the late 1970s that I like, as opposed to the mid 1960s. Thankyou for letting me be born in a decade that suits my true personality.

Your First-born,

Shelby

Dear heart,

Don't fail me now. I've only just started to enjoy the pain.

Dear Steve,

When will you finally start to see me for who I really am, underneath the various guises you have seen? I know you feel that same spark...but you do not act on it. I have been patient and waited 9 months now... and given up so many times, but each time my feelings pull me back to needing to see your face each day...that is my only solace in this world right now. All I want is for you to talk to me...to take a small chance...it can always be reversed if we don't get along. I once said in a letter that I will always love you, and that is very true, even though you have yet to speak to me directly.

Kate.

Dear Mother,
Schmoo is all alone at my dad's house right now. She needs company. Why can't you give her a happy weekend?
-Sophie

Dear Alternative,

You're a nice guy, call me sometime.

My number is 555-555-555-Alt

Yours sincerely,

Alternative.