Why don't I do humanity a favor and just go kill myself?

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Last edited by B19 on 20 Jul 2016, 11:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.: personal attack

^How am I manipulative? I have major depressive disorder, and I'm sick of hearing all of this pull yourself by the bootstraps bullcrap.

I still feel like utter sh*t. Everyone barks at me to buck up and put on a fake smile when its all pointless.

But why is it all pointless?

You live in a place with lots of natural beauty. You don't need people. All you need is to look at Nature. Nature can never be taken away from you.

That's what I do when I think everything's pointless.

Hi, kraftiekortie:

I've been hesitant about posting here on the off-chance that anything I say can be posted on Kiwi Farms. I don't go on there anymore, and couldn't care less what they say. I'm feeling better, and I've been more productive with my writing lately. I try to write from Monday to Friday, and I'm off Saturdays and Sundays.

Have you established your own website for your writing?

I did set up a Wordpress, but I abandoned it.

If you are being forum stalked by members from another website on this member account the modteam could possibly close this account permanently on your request. We don't re-open them though, if you change your mind. Any new account would need to be arranged with/notified to the modteam here (privately via PMs, not on any of the forums) so that you are not mistaken for a sock puppet. If you choose a new account then you must start over and take extreme care not mention any identifying personal details and history which would tip off the people who follow you to this forum.

There is independent evidence that the stalking you speak of is and has indeed happened to you and that your posts on WP have been used by outsiders on other websites rather cruelly. You already have a strong case for making a request to the modteam, if you wish to.

If your problem is finding meaning, I suggest a religion. That's pretty much the point of them. Just find one you agree with. There's plenty.

We often create suffering for different reasons. We may also "inherit" suffering from our family. For example, an alcoholic may abuse her children. The children will learn to abuse others. That's a form of inheritance - just not genetic. We can learn to reduce suffering by focusing on things that help. Kindness, compassion and understanding directed at one's self is a beginning. One can learn to breathe - breath is life. We can go for weeks without food, days without water but only minutes without breath. Breath connects us - when we're aware of our breath we can become aware of our bodies. When we're aware that our bodies are miraculous (how many other planets have life like this?) then we begin to see ourselves as miracles, not burdens. You don't have to stop being sad, frustrated or scared but you may want to practice being aware of these things and how they affect you and those around you. Awareness will bring understanding and understanding will lead to a more realistic view of ourselves and life. There is very little life in this universe within billions of miles. You are part of that. Everything else is just human creation - you are actual creation. We don't have to suppress our feelings, we must transform them into something that works. A crying child needs attention. When we feel "down" we need attention from ourselves. We need compassion for ourselves. You recognize your suffering, perhaps it will help to also recognize what makes you smile, what feels good and how to change the suffering into understanding. It won't end suffering but it will reduce it and grow flowers from the mud of your suffering. Breathe in - say, "I am strong." Breathe out - say, "I am calm." Understand your a miracle and only here for a short time. We can choose to use that time to suffer more or to suffer less. There will always be suffering. How much suffering will you allow? How was it "born" and how do you feed it? Understanding these things will help you to reduce and/or end it.

Hey! Look who's back - giftorcurse. Man, you've been gone a long time. How's yer writing?

About as well as you'd expect from scum like me.

Now, now.

No, don't you f*****g now, now, me. Don't play that f*****g Mr. Rogers BS, because I'm telling you, it ain't going to f*****g work. Nothing ever f*****g does.