I am starting to hate this site.

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btbnnyr
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26 Jul 2016, 4:06 pm

I think WP is more "NT" than NT forums I have been on, which is just a few like INTJ forum or some TV show forums.
I mean NT in terms of reading a lot that is not explicitly stated and not taking statements literally, the latter is what I expect autistic people to do, but that doens't seem to be the case for many on WP, although I can think of multiple examples of people who do take things literally without being idiotic either.


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26 Jul 2016, 10:48 pm

hah, i just posted this in another thread, i hadn't realized before how it's a great way to mentally picture those instances on wp when people start nitpicking and fighting about petty things that don't really make any difference or any sense. the tone of the "battle" applies to pretty much any online community, but the specific theme is particularly fitting here...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Tvy_Pbe5NA

:lol:

i'm of the opinion that to every problem that there is out there in the world, there's a pretty good chance that humor is part of the solution to it. finding humor in things may not always be so easy, but when you do find it, everything gets better


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auntblabby
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26 Jul 2016, 11:16 pm

IMHO when people lose their humor, they've also lost a big piece of their sanity as well.



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26 Jul 2016, 11:20 pm

auntblabby wrote:
IMHO when people lose their humor, they've also lost a big piece of their sanity as well.

it sounds poetic, but come to think of it, i can even read it literally


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Aniihya
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27 Jul 2016, 1:42 am

Anagram, you havent seen the threads yet that ticked me off. I never specifically talked about the sensitivities of anyone in this thread yet but I can say you are very easy to jump to conclusions.



Aniihya
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27 Jul 2016, 1:59 am

Btw, I am not complaining about people being not calm as calm articulation can still make an “you are an insensitive dick“ or “I am triggered“ statement. The problem is the use of overly emotional language in combination of taking offense. It gets really annoying.

Btw, I was more irritable when I wrote the initial post due to my agomelatine being depleted, however it doesnt mean I understand the sensitivities of others right now.

By the way, btbnnyr just made my quite decent list for making an astute observation.



Last edited by Aniihya on 27 Jul 2016, 2:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

Jacoby
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27 Jul 2016, 2:00 am

post the threads



naturalplastic
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27 Jul 2016, 8:38 am

Aniihya wrote:
Naturalplastic, people are always jumping to conclusions or lack reading comprehension, so they go berserk over stuff they assume about me. It is like they think autism is an excuse for acting like a jackass.


You already said that.
What I am asking you to do is to illustrate WTF that means.

I have been here for years, and made thousands of posts, but I dont get folks "jumping all over me" constantly. Once in a while yes. And sometimes its I who is doing the jumping on others, and sometimes when its me getting jumped on it is justified. I dont experience this one sided problem that you somehow manage to have.

What I am trying to ascertain is is it the WP population who is at fault, or is it you and how you say things that is the problem?

One more thing: you have to keep in mind is that many folks here are victims of bullying, and you have to be sensitive to that, and be careful not to look like you're bullying them. Maybe thats the problem.



Aniihya
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27 Jul 2016, 2:00 pm

I will post the threads when I get home.

Well naturalplastic, people dont jump you because we are not the same and my views arent always in line with those of others to the point that some take offense to my worldview. Also at times people just skim over my posts and dont leave time to think or do not ask for clarification but interpret what I write instead. It seems as if people actually try to read between the lines here.



Aristophanes
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27 Jul 2016, 2:13 pm

Aniihya wrote:
I will post the threads when I get home.

Well naturalplastic, people dont jump you because we are not the same and my views arent always in line with those of others to the point that some take offense to my worldview. Also at times people just skim over my posts and dont leave time to think or do not ask for clarification but interpret what I write instead. It seems as if people actually try to read between the lines here.

Well, autism does have an abundance of INTJ personality types-- so they're 100% sure they know what you said, lol. Part of that is the nature of forum communication as well-- if you ask for a clarification it could be days before the poster replies, by which time you may have already moved topics. Lastly, if you're posting in the PPR forum, realize that forum is basically a debate forum-- wear a helmet! Same goes with some "hot button" issues in other areas, such as Love and Dating (tbh, 70% of the things posted there should be in the PPR forum because it's really political gender discussion).

Anyhow, sorry the site isn't fulfilling your needs at the moment-- best I can offer are those explanations. And oh yeah, just like any group there are good members and there are bad members, and this place is certainly not immune to that dynamic.



naturalplastic
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27 Jul 2016, 2:20 pm

I agree with you though that there are some folks on WP who are into some strange beliefs. I never would have thought that I would ever have had to defend my "beliefs" that the earth is round and not flat, and that the Sun is bigger than 32 miles across, and more that 4000 miles up in the sky! Lol!

But folks with axes to grind are on every site, and they make the most noise per capita. So it always seems like that they are the majority when they are not. Lol!

There is another group (not usually the same as the axe grinders) who have been bullied alot IRL because of their autism and other issues. So you have to be sensitive to that too.



Aniihya
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27 Jul 2016, 3:45 pm

It might be Aristophanes who fulfills my expectations 100%. As he is capable of constructive criticism and even though he can be so blunt that it hurts, it is better that way than most of the alternatives.

By the way, here is the most recent thread where I had a run in where no one had really made an effort to explain to me how I was being insensitive. The thread was in General Discussion before it was moved to The Haven. viewtopic.php?t=324117

I had agreed with B19, to not continue posting in that thread to avoid fanning the flames.



Jacoby
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27 Jul 2016, 3:55 pm

I don't think people are fond of grammar Nazis anywhere, I don't think that is unique to this website. That is a post in The Haven as this one is, you really do not need to do that with people looking for support.



BirdInFlight
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27 Jul 2016, 4:01 pm

All this talk of disappointment and this or that person "fulfilling" your "expectations" ....

A word of advice -- maybe try to stop expecting so much of anything of anyone and just take things as they are; you'll find less disappointment that way. Everyone runs into people they like and people they can't stand, but in another sense you can't live your life actively ranking and judging everyone so harshly and finding everyone lacking by your standards.



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27 Jul 2016, 4:08 pm

Aniihya wrote:
By the way, here is the most recent thread where I had a run in where no one had really made an effort to explain to me how I was being insensitive. The thread was in General Discussion before it was moved to The Haven. viewtopic.php?t=324117

Do you have any other examples except this one? To be fair what you said on that thread didn't come across as very nice. If someone has a disability and is doing their best to overcome it, it is generally considered harsh to criticise them when they are trying their best as it can knock their confidence. It's like when a child does a painting for their parents, the parents say it's great and put it on the fridge...they don't yell at the child; "What's this rubbish? It looks nothing like me, you need to get your artistic abilities fixed, your age is no excuse for not trying."

Also you don't know them or know how their disability affects them. There's a knack to knowing when you can criticise and when you can't, and that was an instance when you shouldn't have criticised but supported instead.



wilburforce
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27 Jul 2016, 4:27 pm

Chichikov wrote:
Aniihya wrote:
By the way, here is the most recent thread where I had a run in where no one had really made an effort to explain to me how I was being insensitive. The thread was in General Discussion before it was moved to The Haven. viewtopic.php?t=324117

Do you have any other examples except this one? To be fair what you said on that thread didn't come across as very nice. If someone has a disability and is doing their best to overcome it, it is generally considered harsh to criticise them when they are trying their best as it can knock their confidence. It's like when a child does a painting for their parents, the parents say it's great and put it on the fridge...they don't yell at the child; "What's this rubbish? It looks nothing like me, you need to get your artistic abilities fixed, your age is no excuse for not trying."

Also you don't know them or know how their disability affects them. There's a knack to knowing when you can criticise and when you can't, and that was an instance when you shouldn't have criticised but supported instead.


Yeah, insulting someone who is ASD and learning disordered and profoundly deaf for having poor grammar and language usage is rather mean and petty. Would you kick a walker or braces out from under a person who struggles to walk because of severe cerebral palsy, or insult them for walking slowly or clumsily? Why did you think it was acceptable to be so mean?

If this is the way you regularly communicate with people, I'm not surprised that they respond "over-sensitively". Bullying behaviour tends to make people emotional--and that is not the fault of the people being bullied.


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