Wanting to prove my detractors wrong

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yellowtamarin
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04 Apr 2018, 6:39 pm

Hi Marknis, what exactly do you want to prove these people wrong about (as per your OP), and how do you intend to do this? Or are you looking for advice on how to do it? I'm a bit unclear on exactly what you mean, but I'm hopeful that it sounds like you intend to do some positive things with your life.



Marknis
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04 Apr 2018, 6:49 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Marknis doesn't need a block function in order to ignore posts. Just look at all the advice he ignores! He's pretty good at ignoring things and just doing whatever he wants to. Hopefully he can ignore things that he perceives as offensive and instead pay attention to all the good advice he's been given.. and even better; act on it!


You really think I am going to listen to someone who accused me of being a Donald Trump Jr. and just wants a woman like a drooling beast? That is not advice to help me, that is a diatribe brought on by a false perception.

Notice I have not spoken negatively about Misery, Fireblossom, kraftiekortie, aiko, and Inquisitor? That's because they don't make stupid assumptions about me and actually accept me for who I am. Has it ever occurred to you that doing those things make people not like others?


Did I say anything about someone who accused you of being Donald Trump Jr. or w/e else?

No.

I suggested that you pay attention to the abundance of good advice you've been given & do something with it.


You keep defending Piobaire even after I pointed out how he made false assumptions about me and painted me as wanting favors from rednecks, Republicans, and 'good 'ol white Christian folk' even after I've made it quite clear I do not like the Bible Belt.



goldfish21
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04 Apr 2018, 6:55 pm

Marknis wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Marknis wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Marknis doesn't need a block function in order to ignore posts. Just look at all the advice he ignores! He's pretty good at ignoring things and just doing whatever he wants to. Hopefully he can ignore things that he perceives as offensive and instead pay attention to all the good advice he's been given.. and even better; act on it!


You really think I am going to listen to someone who accused me of being a Donald Trump Jr. and just wants a woman like a drooling beast? That is not advice to help me, that is a diatribe brought on by a false perception.

Notice I have not spoken negatively about Misery, Fireblossom, kraftiekortie, aiko, and Inquisitor? That's because they don't make stupid assumptions about me and actually accept me for who I am. Has it ever occurred to you that doing those things make people not like others?


Did I say anything about someone who accused you of being Donald Trump Jr. or w/e else?

No.

I suggested that you pay attention to the abundance of good advice you've been given & do something with it.


You keep defending Piobaire even after I pointed out how he made false assumptions about me and painted me as wanting favors from rednecks, Republicans, and 'good 'ol white Christian folk' even after I've made it quite clear I do not like the Bible Belt.


I defended his one post IF he was in fact responding to you suggesting that you're somehow "owed," a girlfriend for your sexual gratification because in that case he'd be right to call you out on your behaviour.

Any other mention of him has been you. And in this post you're bringing up new things about him. This further proves my point that you focus on the posts you are irritated by or find offensive and give them your time & energy making multiple posts about them while ignoring all of the positive advice posted by others. Change your focus to ANY of the positive posts people make in your threads and TRY changing some of the things they suggest working on about yourself and you'll be way better off for it.


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04 Apr 2018, 8:40 pm

yellowtamarin wrote:
Hi Marknis, what exactly do you want to prove these people wrong about (as per your OP), and how do you intend to do this? Or are you looking for advice on how to do it? I'm a bit unclear on exactly what you mean, but I'm hopeful that it sounds like you intend to do some positive things with your life.


This was a good question.

What exactly do you want to prove these people wrong about, and how do you intend to do this?

What is your plan? How is tomorrow going to be different from today, and yesterday, etc?


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Marknis
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04 Apr 2018, 10:05 pm

Misery wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Misery wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Marknis doesn't need a block function in order to ignore posts. Just look at all the advice he ignores! He's pretty good at ignoring things and just doing whatever he wants to. Hopefully he can ignore things that he perceives as offensive and instead pay attention to all the good advice he's been given.. and even better; act on it!


My suggestion was a serious one though.

It can be very hard to ignore insulting posts. Easy to ignore other types of posts in any subject, but... outright insulting (or trolling) posts often just sorta get your anger fired up, and then there's that temptation to strike back, and then the troll gets exactly what they wanted... Never helps anyone. Well, it helps the troll, I guess, but obviously that is to be avoided.


Even when I put Piobaire on my ignore list, his posts still show. If I didn't see his posts or others that make stupid-ass assumptions about me, it would give me peace of mind as well as keep me from feeling the need to respond. That's partly why I want my threads locked sometimes.


*sigh*

So, this freaking site is just as glitchy as it ever was, then. Ugh. Sometimes (okay, most of the time) I think this forum needs to be redone from the ground up. It's more than a bit of a mess.

But that's a rant for another day.


Consider talking to a mod, then. That's what worked for me in a similar situation.


Yes, I will because I am sick of how certain people keep saying they don't like my posts but still follow them anyway. They also ask questions and never like the answers I give them so why even bother with them?



Marknis
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04 Apr 2018, 10:18 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Marknis wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
aikoinazuma wrote:
I would say that you should continue to write down what you're feeling as often as you can but maybe write in a journal. There are a lot of people online who get their jollies by bothering someone who is not in the best mood and/or think that a person doesn't have the right to complain about how their life has gone or about any injustices done to them. A journal won't judge you or talk down to you like a person does whether it's an online poster or in real life.


That's not the case here. At all.

Marknis has been venting his depressive complaints for months/years, and many people have given him positive advice about what he can do to improve his thinking, feeling, and general well being. It falls on deaf ears because he's not interested in doing any work to better himself & prefers to vent his frustrations and depressive thoughts in order to get sympathy from others. That cycle frustrates people who wish him well and would prefer to read him post about some positive changes & progress in his life instead of continuing to do the exact same thing over and over again. No one is "getting their jollies," by bothering him. They're fed up with the cycle of him asking for help and then completely ignoring every piece of advice he gets.


viewtopic.php?t=359016

Read the post by the person who claimed I drink margaritas and just want a "sex object". That is not advice, that is an example of a personal attack.

That is gibberish, but I think you misread what he was saying regarding the margaritas. He seems to be using a metaphor where the 'second hand blender' is meant to be a woman and the 'margaritas' symbolise a desire for sex. Something along those lines.

I think he's completely mischaracterized your desires but he doesn't seem to literally be saying you're sipping on margaritas


The words he used also say a lot more about his thought processes than they do mine. I didn't think for a second about wanting someone just to spread their legs for me. A lot of Bible Belt men have that outlook and it enrages me how so many of them have girlfriends despite thinking of them as just sexual toys. I don't want to become that way and that view gets shoved down my throat constantly.



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05 Apr 2018, 12:37 am

Now, I didn't make it in time in the other thread, since you locked it.

But you said marknis, that the problem was that women in your culture don't make the first move.. Let me tell you something, there is no culture on planet earth where it is the norm that women initiate. So even if all your other criticiques of your own culture are valid, this one is definitely not.
If you want to increase the small chance of women ever initiating, I can tell you from personal experience, you have to be in shape and dress well. Women are not going to initiate contact with a fat guy, that's just a fact. The increase in attention I got, from when I was 15, slightly overweight, wearing band t-shirts, and 19, in shape and sharply dressed was massive. You could get in shape in 6 months or so, buy some black jeans and a denim jacket, and you might just have a chance of women actually making a move on you. If you do nothing your chances are probably close to 0%, regardless of whether you live in america, spain, scandinavia, japan, lebanon or south africa.
Btw, I'm not telling you to do anything, it's your choice, I'm just giving you the facts.

One thing I don't understand though, if you really want to prove your "detractors" wrong, why do dismiss advice given to you by a succesful guy like alex? He's a guy who has many of the things you claim to want. You can ignore the rest of us, but I think you're digging your own grave when you refuse to listen to a guy who is way ahead of you, and actually trying to help you.



Marknis
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05 Apr 2018, 1:29 am

Closet Genious wrote:
Now, I didn't make it in time in the other thread, since you locked it.

But you said marknis, that the problem was that women in your culture don't make the first move.. Let me tell you something, there is no culture on planet earth where it is the norm that women initiate. So even if all your other criticiques of your own culture are valid, this one is definitely not.
If you want to increase the small chance of women ever initiating, I can tell you from personal experience, you have to be in shape and dress well. Women are not going to initiate contact with a fat guy, that's just a fact. The increase in attention I got, from when I was 15, slightly overweight, wearing band t-shirts, and 19, in shape and sharply dressed was massive. You could get in shape in 6 months or so, buy some black jeans and a denim jacket, and you might just have a chance of women actually making a move on you. If you do nothing your chances are probably close to 0%, regardless of whether you live in america, spain, scandinavia, japan, lebanon or south africa.
Btw, I'm not telling you to do anything, it's your choice, I'm just giving you the facts.

One thing I don't understand though, if you really want to prove your "detractors" wrong, why do dismiss advice given to you by a succesful guy like alex? He's a guy who has many of the things you claim to want. You can ignore the rest of us, but I think you're digging your own grave when you refuse to listen to a guy who is way ahead of you, and actually trying to help you.


The way you say I am fat is like you are telling me I look like Jack Black. I don't look like him. I am 5'11 (taller than him) and my body doesn't bulge out like his does. I would look like a toothpick compared to someone like boogie2988 if I stood next to him. My first and only real girlfriend actually came to me first and I've never been Mr. Universe in my life.

As far as women never initiating contact with fat men, I beg to differ. I've seen women from the redneck and hip hop cultures go after the fattest men of those cultures. I had a co-worker who was both overweight and wore metal band t-shirts (He was in a metal band himself) and I would see girls run up to him without him even trying. My father is fat and he has a following of mistresses. My older brother is fat and his wife immediately jumped his bones and got pregnant.



Last edited by Marknis on 05 Apr 2018, 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Closet Genious
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05 Apr 2018, 1:32 am

Marknis wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Now, I didn't make it in time in the other thread, since you locked it.

But you said marknis, that the problem was that women in your culture don't make the first move.. Let me tell you something, there is no culture on planet earth where it is the norm that women initiate. So even if all your other criticiques of your own culture are valid, this one is definitely not.
If you want to increase the small chance of women ever initiating, I can tell you from personal experience, you have to be in shape and dress well. Women are not going to initiate contact with a fat guy, that's just a fact. The increase in attention I got, from when I was 15, slightly overweight, wearing band t-shirts, and 19, in shape and sharply dressed was massive. You could get in shape in 6 months or so, buy some black jeans and a denim jacket, and you might just have a chance of women actually making a move on you. If you do nothing your chances are probably close to 0%, regardless of whether you live in america, spain, scandinavia, japan, lebanon or south africa.
Btw, I'm not telling you to do anything, it's your choice, I'm just giving you the facts.

One thing I don't understand though, if you really want to prove your "detractors" wrong, why do dismiss advice given to you by a succesful guy like alex? He's a guy who has many of the things you claim to want. You can ignore the rest of us, but I think you're digging your own grave when you refuse to listen to a guy who is way ahead of you, and actually trying to help you.


The way you say I am fat is like you are telling me I look like Jack Black. I don't look like him. I am 5'11 (taller than him) and my body doesn't bulge out like his does. I would look like a toothpick compared to someone like boogie2988 if I stood next to him.

As far as women never initiating contact with fat men, I beg to differ. I've seen women from the redneck and hip hop cultures go after the fattest men of those cultures. I had a co-worker who was both overweight and wore metal band t-shirts (He was in a metal band himself) and I would see girls run up to him without him even trying. My father is fat and he has a following of mistresses. My older brother is fat and his wife immediately jumped his bones and got pregnant. The Bible Belt is so fat it is sickening.


Okay, they might initiate if the fat guy earns good money, or has some sort of social status.



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05 Apr 2018, 1:38 am

Closet Genious wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Now, I didn't make it in time in the other thread, since you locked it.

But you said marknis, that the problem was that women in your culture don't make the first move.. Let me tell you something, there is no culture on planet earth where it is the norm that women initiate. So even if all your other criticiques of your own culture are valid, this one is definitely not.
If you want to increase the small chance of women ever initiating, I can tell you from personal experience, you have to be in shape and dress well. Women are not going to initiate contact with a fat guy, that's just a fact. The increase in attention I got, from when I was 15, slightly overweight, wearing band t-shirts, and 19, in shape and sharply dressed was massive. You could get in shape in 6 months or so, buy some black jeans and a denim jacket, and you might just have a chance of women actually making a move on you. If you do nothing your chances are probably close to 0%, regardless of whether you live in america, spain, scandinavia, japan, lebanon or south africa.
Btw, I'm not telling you to do anything, it's your choice, I'm just giving you the facts.

One thing I don't understand though, if you really want to prove your "detractors" wrong, why do dismiss advice given to you by a succesful guy like alex? He's a guy who has many of the things you claim to want. You can ignore the rest of us, but I think you're digging your own grave when you refuse to listen to a guy who is way ahead of you, and actually trying to help you.


The way you say I am fat is like you are telling me I look like Jack Black. I don't look like him. I am 5'11 (taller than him) and my body doesn't bulge out like his does. I would look like a toothpick compared to someone like boogie2988 if I stood next to him.

As far as women never initiating contact with fat men, I beg to differ. I've seen women from the redneck and hip hop cultures go after the fattest men of those cultures. I had a co-worker who was both overweight and wore metal band t-shirts (He was in a metal band himself) and I would see girls run up to him without him even trying. My father is fat and he has a following of mistresses. My older brother is fat and his wife immediately jumped his bones and got pregnant. The Bible Belt is so fat it is sickening.


Okay, they might initiate if the fat guy earns good money, or has some sort of social status.


The fat men in the redneck and hip hop communities in my area make poverty level income and have low social status but they still get women. :lol:

I also made an edit about my first and only girlfriend initiating things first.



hale_bopp
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05 Apr 2018, 2:48 am

The scowling thing is usually due to self importance and sensitivity.

Very sensitive people take things personally and go into an ocd downward spiral, I’ve been on medication for that for 20 years.

The reality is, there is probably a small % chance they’re scowling and even less of a chance they’re scowling about you.

It’s worse for people with childhood and youth trauma as we a programmed that people hate us.

We are are the center of the world to us, but we are pretty irrelevant to most others.

It may not be the most comforting thought, but unless your opinions are extremely controversial or you have anger problems, people here won’t hate you. If they do, they’re not worth knowing anyway. They don’t know you, they don’t matter.

The best revenge, Markins, is not giving a damn. These people are nothing. You matter, they don’t.



CannibalCorpse
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05 Apr 2018, 9:16 am

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1IOdPqPZRFUHhx83WSjI8nPhwxejrrWfA/view?usp=sharing
This is a link to download Mark Manson The subtle art of not giving a f#ck

There is a chapter in this book, "You are always choosing", that you should read and read and read until you fully comprehend it.

Have you heard about William James?
He decided to conduct a little experiment. In his diary, he wrote that he would spend one year believing that he was 100 percent responsible for everything that occurred in his life, no matter what. During this period, he would do everything in his power to change his circumstances, no matter the likelihood of failure. If nothing improved in that year, then it would be apparent that he was truly powerless to the circumstances around him, and then he would take his own life.
The punch line? William James went on to become the father of American psychology. His work has been translated into a bazillion languages, and he’s regarded as one of the most influential intellectuals/philosophers/psychologists of his generation.

HE says We don’t always control what happens to us. But we always control how we interpret what happens to us, as well as how we respond. Whether we like it or not, we are always taking an active role in what’s occurring to and within us. We are always interpreting the meaning of every moment and every occurrence. We are always choosing the values by which we live and the metrics by which we measure everything that happens to us. Often the same event can be good or bad, depending on the metric we choose to use. The point is, we are always choosing, whether we recognize it or not. Always.
The more we choose to accept responsibility in our lives, the more power we will exercise over our lives. Accepting responsibility for our problems is thus the first step to solving them.
I (Mark Manson) once knew a man who was convinced that the reason no woman would date him was because he was too short. He was educated, interesting, and good-looking—a good catch, in principle—but he was absolutely convinced that women found him too short to date.
And because he felt that he was too short, he didn’t often go out and try to meet women. The few times he did, he would home in on the smallest behaviors from any woman he talked with that could possibly indicate he wasn’t attractive enough for her and then convince himself that she didn’t like him, even if she really did. As you can imagine, his dating life sucked.
What he didn’t realize was that he had chosen the value that was hurting him: height. Women, he assumed, are attracted only to height. He was screwed, no matter what he did.

There’s a difference between blaming someone else for your situation and that person’s actually being responsible for your situation. Nobody else is ever responsible for your situation but you. Many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness but you. This is because you always get to choose how you see things, how you react to things, how you value things. You always get to choose the metric by which to measure your experiences.

Just some paragraphs from the book. I know this is going to be ignored too but YOU are responsible for your situation. It's not your fault maybe but how you respond, how you interpret things is YOUR responsibility.
You can accept this or not, your life is at stake.



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05 Apr 2018, 9:40 am

If there was a vote for post of the day ^ this would get my vote


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05 Apr 2018, 9:59 pm

Closet Genious wrote:
Now, I didn't make it in time in the other thread, since you locked it.

But you said marknis, that the problem was that women in your culture don't make the first move.. Let me tell you something, there is no culture on planet earth where it is the norm that women initiate. So even if all your other criticiques of your own culture are valid, this one is definitely not.
If you want to increase the small chance of women ever initiating, I can tell you from personal experience, you have to be in shape and dress well. Women are not going to initiate contact with a fat guy, that's just a fact. The increase in attention I got, from when I was 15, slightly overweight,wearing band t-shirts, and 19, in shape and sharply dressed was massive. You could get in shape in 6 months or so, buy some black jeans and a denim jacket, and you might just have a chance of women actually making a move on you. If you do nothing your chances are probably close to 0%, regardless of whether you live in america, spain, scandinavia, japan, lebanon or south africa.
Btw, I'm not telling you to do anything, it's your choice, I'm just giving you the facts.

One thing I don't understand though, if you really want to prove your "detractors" wrong, why do dismiss advice given to you by a succesful guy like alex? He's a guy who has many of the things you claim to want. You can ignore the rest of us, but I think you're digging your own grave when you refuse to listen to a guy who is way ahead of you, and actually trying to help you.


I beg to differ on that. I would love to meet a guy wearing a shirt with a band I like on it. I wouldn't care if he was slightly overweight or not. Most guys where I went to school with listen to rap, country and dubstep and don't wear those kinds of shirts. It's annoying.


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Marknis
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05 Apr 2018, 10:38 pm

xxZeromancerlovexx wrote:
Closet Genious wrote:
Now, I didn't make it in time in the other thread, since you locked it.

But you said marknis, that the problem was that women in your culture don't make the first move.. Let me tell you something, there is no culture on planet earth where it is the norm that women initiate. So even if all your other criticiques of your own culture are valid, this one is definitely not.
If you want to increase the small chance of women ever initiating, I can tell you from personal experience, you have to be in shape and dress well. Women are not going to initiate contact with a fat guy, that's just a fact. The increase in attention I got, from when I was 15, slightly overweight,wearing band t-shirts, and 19, in shape and sharply dressed was massive. You could get in shape in 6 months or so, buy some black jeans and a denim jacket, and you might just have a chance of women actually making a move on you. If you do nothing your chances are probably close to 0%, regardless of whether you live in america, spain, scandinavia, japan, lebanon or south africa.
Btw, I'm not telling you to do anything, it's your choice, I'm just giving you the facts.

One thing I don't understand though, if you really want to prove your "detractors" wrong, why do dismiss advice given to you by a succesful guy like alex? He's a guy who has many of the things you claim to want. You can ignore the rest of us, but I think you're digging your own grave when you refuse to listen to a guy who is way ahead of you, and actually trying to help you.


I beg to differ on that. I would love to meet a guy wearing a shirt with a band I like on it. I wouldn't care if he was slightly overweight or not. Most guys where I went to school with listen to rap, country and dubstep and don't wear those kinds of shirts. It's annoying.


Indeed. I knew a guy at high school who wore Cradle of Filth, Children of Bodom, and Nile (All extreme metal bands) shirts and he had a girlfriend. I also know two guys (Both are in bands and one used to be a co-worker while another one still is) who wear metal and punk shirts all the time and they both have long term relationships. My older brother's ex-friend had local bands (They all tanked), wore metal band shirts, and had a girlfriend. Heck, I see couples making out and finding places to have sex at the music shows in Austin I go to.



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06 Apr 2018, 1:44 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
aikoinazuma wrote:
I would say that you should continue to write down what you're feeling as often as you can but maybe write in a journal. There are a lot of people online who get their jollies by bothering someone who is not in the best mood and/or think that a person doesn't have the right to complain about how their life has gone or about any injustices done to them. A journal won't judge you or talk down to you like a person does whether it's an online poster or in real life.


That's not the case here. At all.

Marknis has been venting his depressive complaints for months/years, and many people have given him positive advice about what he can do to improve his thinking, feeling, and general well being. It falls on deaf ears because he's not interested in doing any work to better himself & prefers to vent his frustrations and depressive thoughts in order to get sympathy from others. That cycle frustrates people who wish him well and would prefer to read him post about some positive changes & progress in his life instead of continuing to do the exact same thing over and over again. No one is "getting their jollies," by bothering him. They're fed up with the cycle of him asking for help and then completely ignoring every piece of advice he gets.


From what I have read here Marknis has had a lot of crap done to him and he has every right to complain. Obviously other people may not want to read about it so it's better if Marknis has a private place where he can air out his frustrations and grieviances. I would think this is a good example of having a journal to write in without the outside world constantly judging and telling him to 'get better'.


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