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hurtloam
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20 Mar 2019, 5:15 pm

Fireblossom wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ok, some have partnered up in the past, but I have this core group of undatable women who I hang out with.


I'm curious to know what makes these friends of yours undatable.


I'm not really sure. One is very, very shy. One was always a bit odd when she was younger, but I think either her social skills have improved or I've just got used to her, but she's old and plump now, so has that against her.

4 are quite posh and regular guys don't like posh birds, as far as I gather, they talk very eloquently and dont use slang. Very exact ladies. They're right proper spinsters. Though 1 is a bit more fun and more youthful, but maybe too much so and not taken seriously by men. Tallness doesn't help either. Guys don't want someone taller than them. The shorter ones are verging on fat.

In all the time we've hung around together as a group of friends (at least 10 years) only 1 has ever been seeing someone, which didn't last long.

They're all lovely friends though.



kraftiekortie
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20 Mar 2019, 5:17 pm

I get turned on by women who talk "posh" with a British accent.

Nigella Lawson is a woman I really dig....



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 20 Mar 2019, 5:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.

sly279
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20 Mar 2019, 5:18 pm

I’m sure there’s lots of guys they wouldn’t date who’d date them. Probably two way problem.


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hurtloam
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20 Mar 2019, 5:28 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I get turned on by women who talk "posh" with a British accent.

Nigella Lawson is a woman I really dig....


Yes, we've discussed the fact that we'd probably have more success with Americans or South Africans.

I lean a little eastern European myself ;) A lot of my younger female friends are Polish and I seem to have more of a European outspokenness and get on better with them than Brits. I'm not really running into many Eastern European men, but I'm keeping my eyes open.



kraftiekortie
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20 Mar 2019, 5:33 pm

I should warn you: Eastern European men tend to be on the aggressive/Chauvinistic side. Their values tend to be rather "old-fashioned." Especially if they are not in the "professional" ranks.

I'm not saying they're bad people. What I'm saying, really, is that they tend to have "old-fashioned" notions about masculinity and femininity.



hurtloam
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20 Mar 2019, 6:04 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I should warn you: Eastern European men tend to be on the aggressive/Chauvinistic side. Their values tend to be rather "old-fashioned." Especially if they are not in the "professional" ranks.

I'm not saying they're bad people. What I'm saying, really, is that they tend to have "old-fashioned" notions about masculinity and femininity.



Chavanists do not ever approach me anyway. I'm too strong willed. They don't want a woman like me which is quite a good thing for me.



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21 Mar 2019, 12:51 am

hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.

kraftiekortie wrote:
I should warn you: Eastern European men tend to be on the aggressive/Chauvinistic side. Their values tend to be rather "old-fashioned." Especially if they are not in the "professional" ranks.

I am very eastern European and not aggressive at all.



auntblabby
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21 Mar 2019, 1:19 am

all my life i've had to [with the exception of a few years when i could go to my aspie group before they dissolved] do everything alone. after a few decades of that, i'm used to it. but it could be hard sticking out like a sore thumb amongst all the happy couples and such surrounding me, at least it has saved me money on restaurants as i don't feel like eating out alone so i just stay home and eat. i hope the OP has an easier time of it and finds somebody WORTHY OF HER soon!



hurtloam
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21 Mar 2019, 2:07 pm

314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



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22 Mar 2019, 5:20 am

hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.



The Grand Inquisitor
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22 Mar 2019, 5:34 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.

That only matters if she's looking to have children though.



hurtloam
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22 Mar 2019, 5:44 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.


I don't want children though so feel no time pressure.

My aunt met her soul mate in her late 30s. One of my cousins was divorced twice by my age. Her Mum thinks ive got the better deal in life. My aunt's advice is wait for the right person



Fireblossom
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22 Mar 2019, 6:24 am

Quote:
I don't want children though so feel no time pressure.

My aunt met her soul mate in her late 30s. One of my cousins was divorced twice by my age. Her Mum thinks ive got the better deal in life. My aunt's advice is wait for the right person


That's good; if you hurried too much you might end up in a relationship with someone very unsuitable. Of course, if that happened you could always just brake up with him later, but it would still take away time from looking for someone suitable.



Map84
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22 Mar 2019, 9:09 am

hurtloam wrote:
Fireblossom wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
Ok, some have partnered up in the past, but I have this core group of undatable women who I hang out with.


I'm curious to know what makes these friends of yours undatable.


I'm not really sure. One is very, very shy. One was always a bit odd when she was younger, but I think either her social skills have improved or I've just got used to her, but she's old and plump now, so has that against her.

4 are quite posh and regular guys don't like posh birds, as far as I gather, they talk very eloquently and dont use slang. Very exact ladies. They're right proper spinsters. Though 1 is a bit more fun and more youthful, but maybe too much so and not taken seriously by men. Tallness doesn't help either. Guys don't want someone taller than them. The shorter ones are verging on fat.

In all the time we've hung around together as a group of friends (at least 10 years) only 1 has ever been seeing someone, which didn't last long.

They're all lovely friends though.


I'm laughing so much at the 'posh birds'! None of those reasons make someone undatable I don't think. Me and the guys I am friends with rarely date anyone, I can't say why, ladies seem to always end up with the other guys, I suspect, like my little group of gents, your ladies are closed off, more the type to wait for mr right than the hmmm...tinder type. Nothing wrong with that though :)


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kraftiekortie
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22 Mar 2019, 9:13 am

I wouldn't want to date a "Tinder" type.



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22 Mar 2019, 10:08 am

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
314pe wrote:
hurtloam wrote:
I have invited him to loads of things since. Are we there as friends or more though?

Hard to say. For example, a few years ago I was meeting with this girl and we would go for drinks or for dinner. I thought that we were dating and that I had some chance of it working out, but for her it was all just friendly activity. Later she explained how we could never be in a relationship. Anything can be considered as romantic or platonic so it's best to be explicit about it.


I was just reading an experience in L&D of a man who appreciates his now wife taking it slow in the beginning.

There's types of people who don't want to do the jump straight into dating thing. I guess I would rather put the time in with one of them, but I get these moments of self doubt.

I think I'd rather hold out for a laid back unusual type than a gregarious in your face rush into things guy.



You are not immortal, at your age it is better to fasten things a bit rather than wasting tons of time.

That only matters if she's looking to have children though.


Still, that doesn't make her immortal.