Dragonsanddemons’s Health Diary

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And my body continues to do what my body loves to do. The biopsy revealed... absolutely nothing. No cancer, no signs of several other possibilities, just nothing. It sounds like we’re going to try to get my PET scan moved up to earlier this week (currently it’s set for Saturday) and then they’re going to use the results of that to determine the best place for a more in-depth biopsy (surgical biopsy instead of the needle biopsy I had, I think). Honestly, my body being my body, I think I’ll be more surprised if the PET scan does show anything than if it doesn’t.

^Excellent!

I'm glad things went well for you, Miss D&D!

Oh, yay, and a week from today I have a dentist appointment I’m always so terrified they’ll find something wrong (though it hasn’t happened yet) that I’m shaking the whole time, and not just because of my tremor. Because no matter what anyone else says, to me it will seem entirely preventable if I’d just take proper care of my teeth and if anything is wrong, it’s 100% my fault for not doing so and my parents will be extremely disappointed in me, as I will be with myself. And of course cost of treatment would (and should) come entirely out of my savings.

This all sounds very positive D&D. So relieved for you. Hope that your fatigue from the anemia, your iron levels and general well-being improve in the coming weeks and months. These lesions can cause alot of concern, until proven benign, and it’s possible it’s caused by an infected duct(thyroglossal) which is treatable with anti-biotics. Whatever the cause, here’s hoping it’s dealt with effectively from here on in. All the best with your dental appointment. I have a funny Irish dentist who reminds me of Doc from Back to the Future ...

I just worry that it’s all benign and all that can be done is wait for my body to knock it off, which could be months, or years, or heck, for all I know, even decades. Plus then I look like a hypochondriac / attention-seeker trying to make a big deal out of nothing. Plus lots of money spent to tell me that I’m perfectly fine. I’m the weirdo who goes to the doctor wanting there to be something wrong, so I don’t look stupid or attention-seeking or like someone who just does one Google search and briefly scans the results before coming to the conclusion that they’re dying, or any other way it would make me look bad. Plus if they can figure out what the heck it is, it can be treated.

But yeah, the only thing not making me think that my body is up to its same old tricks is that there are actual lumps that I can feel myself without any possible explanations, and if the area of masses wasn’t so dang big, I’d be convinced it was entirely benign and my body was just making everything else up. Even wondering if the CT scan distinctly shows all this stuff or if it may well not even be there at all (wouldn’t surprise me). If the PET scan doesn’t reveal anything conclusive (which I’m expecting to happen), I’m going to insist we stop trying to find something that has shown it most likely isn’t there and just wait until my body finally stops its antics.

It’s kind of weird, though, when I go online and see people fretting about one lymph node that’s about the size of a kidney bean and has only been swollen for two weeks. My lymph nodes are probably like planets in both size and age when compared to those

I am just so frustrated and fed up with my body.

You should never beat yourself up over what others might or might not think, especially when it comes to your health. You have some serious issues going on that can be frightening when you’re waiting on answers. No-one should ever judge you or think of you as a hypochondriac under these circumstances ... family and friends should be breathing a sigh of relief when the news is good, and appreciative and supportive of what you’ve had to go through over it.

But, yes, totally agree with you on the “annoying bodies” bit !

I think I was happier when I thought I knew what was going to happen, is part of it. I wasn’t going to like it, but we had a plan and at the end of it all, I’d be feeling better. Now I’m back to not knowing what, if anything, is going to happen. Rather expecting a “watch and wait” approach, though, which does not please me because I don’t know what level of anything is significant and I don’t know how long I’ll be watching and waiting. I just want to be able to do something, dang it.

It’s good news that cancer wasn’t found...though I know it’s quite disconcerting not knowing the cause of the lumps.

Actually, the fact that the needle biopsy didn’t show any sort of cancer or anything doesn’t completely rule it out. The oncologist explained to me about how they could’ve gotten a bad site or something (which is why she wanted to do the PET scan before the biopsy, so it would show where the good/bad spots to biopsy were). If the PET scan comes back negative, then I’ll feel safe in saying I’m cancer-free. Until then, we just don’t know. And there are several other methods that we discussed that can be used for a more in-depth biopsy. So for now I think the plan is get PET scan, see what that shows, if it shows anything abnormal decide on the best method of biopsy, and then the biopsy should reveal what specific kind, if any, of cancer we’re dealing with. And if the PET scan / further biopsy come back clear, then we’ll know that we need to be looking at possibilities other than cancer.

Now that I’ve calmed down a bit and am thinking about this rationally. I was probably having a minor meltdown earlier

I sincerely wish you the best. I admire how strong you've been in the face of this medical dilemma. I myself am somewhat of a hypochondriac, I don't think I could remain as calm as you have been in this situation. Kudos to you.

Doctor Google actually reassured me this time by telling me that as far as cancer goes, Hodgkin’s lymphoma (which is what we thought I had) is one of the least scary and more easily treatable kinds, and statistics I found show that in all likelihood, if that’s what I have, I’ll have to have chemotherapy, but at the end of it all I’ll be just fine. That’s why I’ve been so blasé about it, because it sounds scary, but every source I checked said it actually isn’t.

Good news - my dad’s coworker who may have had COVID-19 tested negative, so he’s in the clear.

Not-sure news - we heard from the ENT and he said that it really didn’t feel like everything in my neck is benign, so he agrees that further testing needs to be done. We’re continuing on with the plan - PET scan on Saturday, which should reveal the best spot(s) for a biopsy, and then if it’s the stuff in my neck it will be the ENT who takes the biopsy, and if it’s the stuff in my mediastinum we’ll need to see another specialist for a biopsy.

It's good that your dad's coworker tested negative for COVID-19. I hope the good things keep happening and that you get good results. Best of luck.

I hope your Saturday PET scan is quite conclusive.