Board index › Coping in life › The Haven

Empathy

Page 4 of 4 [ 52 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

Previous topic | Next topic

adromedanblackhole
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 557
Location: Los Angeles

12 Oct 2020, 7:07 pm

Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Pepe wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Hey so:
What motivates a person to post on The Haven as opposed to other forums? They are looking for validation, they are emotionally distressed, they want to be heard and understood


I had the impression, previously, you were on top of the situation. :scratch:

I can't tell if you're mocking me


I know you are an angry person like me.
I just thought you dealt with it, like me.
I am older than you, so...<shrug>

I am usually pretty good at sussing these things out. <shrug>

I don't want to be an angry person and that is kind of insensitive of you to say that. I can come across as an angry person because it's the norm that when I "put myself out there" for comfort or validation what I get back is a passive, yeah no one cares or worse an opportunity for people to take shots. I can list countless examples. It's exhausting. It's also humiliating to come to a forum specifically designed for people looking for comfort and receiving a general sentiment of "yeah that's nice let's talk about something else"


I actually thought I was empathising with you. Seriously.
I thought you would appreciate that. Seriously.
I can see you as a friend who has gone through some tough times like I have. Seriously.

So, do you accept my friendship, or would you like me to refrain from posting to you, in the future?
I am extremely emotionally disciplined and will comply with your wishes.
History, with my listening to you, is on my side. 8)

Pepe you're fine
It's just not nice to tell a person who isn't feeling great that they're an angry person



adromedanblackhole
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 557
Location: Los Angeles

12 Oct 2020, 7:09 pm

Jakki wrote:
adromedanblackhole wrote:
Just the acute insensitivity of a world that isolates you, tells you how weird you are, makes you feel you don't belong anywhere, makes you feel less valuable than other people, makes you feel alone to then suggest that it is YOU that lacks empathy...
Just seems like a dog that gets hit repeatedly and no longer comes when called. Like it's somehow the dog's fault for being avoidant.

Just to draw everyone's attention to the rules for The Haven forum: viewtopic.php?t=297515
Please have a read before commenting
Thank you

Find myself Strongly agreeing with this post .

Thank you



adromedanblackhole
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 557
Location: Los Angeles

12 Oct 2020, 7:11 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Why do you keep asking us to read the rules? Are we doing something wrong?

I don't want to make people feel like they're doing anything wrong, I posted in The Haven because when I read the rules it seemed like it is the expectation that when a person posts here they are emotionally distraught and are looking for comfort or acknowledgement or validation. I'm not someone who likes to make people feel like they're doing something wrong or that there would be consequences of this, I'm just pointing to the fact that hey I'm posting here for a specific purpose and please be sensitive.



Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,730
Location: .

12 Oct 2020, 7:11 pm

I believe I have lots of empathy but it is mingled up with sympathy. (I did try an online empathy test and scored poorly BUT in my defence, one of the questions said "You know what another person is thinking" (Yes/No). I had to put no because no one knows what another person is thinking. It is impossible. I think this alone gave me a low score on that test.


_________________
https://everything2.com/user/Zifendorf/writeups/shutdow