Women: NO! Pedophiles: YES!

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Very similar experience, this teacher was an ass, gave us lower grades than deserved because high grades 'are for teachers' and asked questions that he didn't teach us. He would also make fun of me sometimes and pick of my painted nails, one day i cried hard after he gave me a bad grade and picked on me in the same class. But everyone knew he was mean.

The principal always showed off his special elected teachers [since it was a religious highschool] and he sat to his right side and was drunk and he grabbed girls asses on the ending prom and I had a bad feeling and kept pulling away in his arms in the dance and giggled nervously and eventually went to my chair. Later my classmates told me hes been grabbing their asses and he walked over to my chair and spoke into my ear 'you're stupid' just ruined my night a bit but classmates calmed me down cause everyone but the principal knew he was a complete as*hole.

mom later told me he was hrr teacher and slapped childrens fingers with measuring rulers if they didn't behave or know the answers. A lot of people probably know about him and even though hes old hes still teaching.

Some mates need to meet him for, um, chat... in a dark alley. Sorry that happened to you.

Yeah, I had a meter stick beating experience of my own when I started first grade at age 6... I was either beat by the class teacher or she would instigate other kids in the class to hit me with things like large metal spoons during lunch. Sometimes I would space out during class and she would either reach and hit me with the meter stick or ask the kid sitting next to me to hit me instead, at one point that kid was wearing a cast because he broke his fingers doing something stupid, so he'd hit me with his cast. I sustained two severe head injuries during recess, and after the 2nd one (I was distracted by two kids while another ran up from behind and pushed me into a metal pipe on the playground) I was pulled from the school, and tried again at age 7 at another school. Like most autistic children I had some developmental delays, and was the weird outcast of the class, and was an easy target for both the sadistic teacher and other kids.

That class teacher ended up committed to an institution a few years later. My parents later found out she was a classmate of my aunt's and aunt said that woman was always strange.

Anyway, I don't want to hijack this thread.

Good grief! was your teacher reported?? some real horror stories

On a side note teachers in private school do instigate prefects/alpha students to pick on/bully kids who they want to leave their class/leave the school. This is an old trick.

Not sure if my parents did, but I presume it's something of the sort that got her put away on a funny farm.

Was she sent to a psychiatric hospital?

Yeah, that's what I'm saying, she was committed.

Decent women (men/non-binary people whatever) will want for both parties to be attracted to each other

Unless they then leave you out of their lives, the friend zone is an underrated place.

Decent women (and other genders...) will be more interested in dating adults who either have a good sense of themselves as individuals or have a good network around them.

I had a highschool teacher who asked his female students for coffee at his home. One student took him up on his offer and while they were at his house (she recounted the story when she came back to school) he asked her to stay the night. She told him her parents would be worried and she left. Nothing ever happened to this lecher because it was the early 1980s, Last I heard he retired with his reputation intact.

Hi KT67, I am not the OP and I was never raped. But, as someone who was rejected by women as well, I can't help but ask about some of what you wrote.



So are you implying that women assume aspies aren't attracted to them? This reminds me of situations when women who rejected me "told me" that it was me who didn't like them, even though I did. So why are they assuming they know what the aspie is feeling better than the aspie in quiestion says they do?

I realize that its not about me its about both people, so even if I am attracted to them, if they aren't attracted to me they won't date me. But in this particular paragraph I am discussing the situations when they quoted "me" not liking them, and "this particular reason" looks illogical (unless they believe I have multiple personalities).

I know that this only applies to a minority of rejections, but you seem to be talking about it too in the above quote, and thats why I felt like it was a good opportunity to bring it up.



That might be true if the person can find a different woman to date. But if "none" of the women want to date someone, then -- from my perspective -- this is a bad place to be.

Or are you saying that an aspie might not be ready for a relationship (despite the fact they think they want it) and it is actually for their benefit to remain single? I think this somewhat touches upon the other question I just asked you, and I am wondering what your thoughts are on this.

I suspect some people make that assumption about me. For example, I noticed that nobody would ever ask if I am single or dating someone, and they aren't surprised why I am single either, they sort of regard it as a normal thing. I am wondering if that's how they view it in my regard.



As far as "having good sense of themselves", that again goes back to something I asked you earlier. When a woman rejects me because I presumably don't like her -- when I do -- that would be a perfect example of my -- presumably -- not having a good sense of myself. Except that it seems illogical to have bad sense of myself to that extend. But even if you say that I misunderstood it and its not about this. Then the question is, "what else" would "bad sense of myself" be about? Would it be from a totally different area, like not having a good sense of whether I am hungry or not, or not having a good sense of whether I am tired or not? If so, wouldn't those things be equally illogical? Why can't you just believe someone they have good sense of themselves, if they don't show obvious symptoms of multiple personality?

As far as "not having a good network" that is a totally different area altogether. A sense of oneself is up to the person, a good network is up to people around that person. So it is perfectly possible for a person to have a good sense of themselves, yet not have a good network. That is my situation in fact! I feel sure of myself, yet others aren't so sure of me. So, despite my having good sense of myself, I have zero friends. But I don't think others believe me that I have good sense of myself -- which is probably "why" I have zero friends. But just the fact that others don't see it doesn't mean its not true. My sense of myself is about me and myself, so yes I have good sense of myself, regardless of what other people think of me, and regardless of whether I have friends or even aquitances.

Now that I type this, something just crossed my mind. Could it be that, from an NT perspective, "no man is an island" and, therefore, there is no such thing as a "sense of oneself" -- unless -- it has been confirmed by the network the person surrounds themselves with. Like for example NT-s won't like a dating prospect unless their friends like them. So maybe it gets to a point when they can't even say "I like person X but my NT friends don't like them" but instead they kind of blend it together since they more or less define what they like based on what their friends like? If you approach it from that mindset then, sure, someone without friends can't have sense of themselves: how can they even begin to define it if -- presumably -- it is being defined based on approval/disapproval of the friends they don't have?

I personally disagree with this. But I am wondering whether "that" is the assumption that is being made, or if an assumption is something else altogether. I am just trying to understand the logic behind that assumption in order to understand this line of reasoning.

I am not underestimating the need for friends, by the way. On the contrary, I feel miserable and upset about the fact that I have no friends. All I am saying is that this doesn't negate the one thing I do have, which is good sense of myself. That doesn't make lack of friends any less upsetting though.

And this takes me to another assumption you are probably making. The fact that we both agree that lack of friends/network is horrible, does this imply that someone without friends/network shouldn't date? Your answer seems to be yes, my answer seems to be no. You see, from my point of view, if something horrible happens to the person (such as the person not having friends, or the person losing a job, or getting sick or whatever) then that person *should* date, in order for a relationship to make it all better. But a lot of people seem to say the opposite that "you can't be happy with someone else unless you are happy with yourself", and this makes no sense to me. The way I see it is that the way "to" become happy with oneself is to be in a relationship. Yes its true you can be in a relationship and still not be happy with oneself. Such as me right now: I am in a long distance relationship and -- instead of being upset about being single -- I became upset about my age, career and health. But still, I feel better being sad "in" a relationship than being sad while single. So I don't understand an advice that sad people should be single. Staying single will just make sadness worse. And trying to be happy while single is a lot harder than trying to be happy while in a relationship.

But this again takes me to this whole topic of my reply about the "sense of myself". When I say that the more sad I am the more desperately I need a relationship, do people simply "not believe me", since they don't think I have good sense of myself? Do they basically think that relationships are bad for me but I think they are good for me due to my lack of sense of myself? How is this logically possible?

That was in the late 90-s though, not the 80-s (although he was an old teacher, so he was probably teaching back in 80-s too). I am wondering if 90-s were more like 80-s or more like today when it comes to lineancy about this type of thing.
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There is a historic precedence. During the late 60s and 1970s the prevalence of male teachers and university lecturers sleeping with female high-school students and college girls was rampant. Remember this was during the sexual revolution. By the 1980s with the AIDS virus there was a halt to promiscuity in highschools. But even in the 1990s university professors were encouraging their graduate students to sleep with them to get better grades. I knew of 6-7 academics who had this reputation. In Australia around the late 1990s legislation was introduced that made it illegal for an academic to act inappropriately toward their students.

Even though its a taboo I still hear this happens even now.

Apart from the fact that I am surprised to hear what you just said, I am also surprised that I hear it from you. Because in the different thread when I was talking about the girl in my office you referred to the fact that we were colleagues, even though we are both graduate students on the same level. Yet on this thread you are saying that professors can date students and get away with it.

To me it seems like if colleagues of the same level have a relationship, such as two graduate students with each other or two professors with each other, then it is appropriate. But if the people on different levels have relations with each other, such as professor with the student, then it is inappropriate. Yet what you are saying sounds the opposite to that.

Or could it be that it wasn't about that but it is about attractiveness. If someone is attractive, they can get away with it, even if they are a professor dating a student. But if someone is unattractive they would get into trouble, even if it is one student expressing interest in their fellow student?

Was he reported?

I remember high school biology teacher who liked to make sexual jokes in the middle of the class. He did it in such a way that all kids loved it. But still it is interesting that adult teachers didn't get him into trouble for it. I mean I am sure everyone knew about his jokes since kids liked to joke around about him. I even remember how a different teacher was advising someone what classes to take, and she suggested taking his class too, and she said "he is a bit weird but its okay".

That was in the late 90-s though, not the 80-s (although he was an old teacher, so he was probably teaching back in 80-s too). I am wondering if 90-s were more like 80-s or more like today when it comes to lineancy about this type of thing.

His name is Panasenko by the way, and he was a teacher at Berkeley High School (California). I am wondering how is he doing now, and whether he got into trouble down the road. All I know is he was in good standing when I was graduating, I have no idea what happened afterwords.

My highschool history teacher was like this. Hed call girls blondes jokingly sometimes