I don't want to be a narcissist

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The word Narcissism gets thrown around sometimes in social media. ^
Lots of times the person using that word doesn't even know what it means.


Narcissism or having narcissistic traits is different from NPD, which needs to be diagnosed.
I doubt very many of us know people with diagnosed NPD since NPD's don't seek diagnoses.
I know my exh is NPD because he had a court-ordered personality test for custody.
He lost custody and they said the kids shouldn't be alone with him unless he had a psychiatrist.

My abuser was dx with Psychopathy by a forensic psychiatrist, also in court.
Psychopathy's yet another term that gets thrown around too often. ^

15/50.

I don't think much of that test. I think it's too easy to game (guess the answer) so to result in an outcome in which you are not a narcissist.

I think it is much harder to game ASD tests, one way or another, to come up with a Yes I have ASD or No I Dont have ASD result. I think that is because if you are not autistic the autistic reply often is not immediately obvious, counter intuitive to an neurotypical person. If you are autistic, your lack of the theory of mind is such that the neurotypical responses simply don't ring true to you.

That test, I think if you really thought about your answers, you could score a zero.

It seems that sociopathy is described as a less toxic form of psychopathy, and narcissism is described as a less toxic form of sociopathy. But I don't know.

I heard that RSD (common in those with ADHD) is a personality disorder, which I'm not sure whether it's true for me or not. I definitely have RSD but not sure about the other symptoms of personality disorder.

But usually narcissists are shamed especially when it comes to romantic relationships. I've never actually failed a friendship or a relationship because of narcissism on my part (if any). I've gotten into toxic friendships before with people who are very insecure and angry and didn't have any respect for themselves or for others. Although I can be insecure and angry, I don't take it out on others. I just beat myself up about it.

But what if you add anxiety and RSD into the mix? I do often worry that people don't like me if they seem unusually cold or distant. But my mum was the same (she was not a narcissist or anything of the kind, and she wasn't ND either). She just had low trust in people and felt that if a friend didn't notice her in a public place she'd get upset and think they don't like her any more. But she wouldn't hold a grudge or get revenge. It was more of a case of her anxiety thoughts bullying her. And that's exactly what happens with me too.

I could quite easily score NT on an autism test by knowing which answers to push. I don't tend to lack theory of mind.

In the narcissist test I did answer all questions truthfully. Which is why I scored 21/25. I could have easily been in denial but I answered as truthfully as possible. Because I know that nobody's perfect.

That's the way I have always seen it narc>soc>psych but I'm sure there are examples of worse narcissists than sociopaths.

RSD is not a personality disorder , it isn't even a recognized diagnosis. You can have RSD without ADHD and ADHD without RSD but it's commonly seen in people who have anxiety,ADHD or autism. .

Last edited by Recidivist on 28 Apr 2023, 2:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I get between 48 and 49/50 on the AQ test when I do it myself.
In my assessment I got 49.

The funny thing is I don't know what the "one answer" is that I got wrong.
I've tried shifting my answers around even quite obviously and I still get 48-49.
I don't know what my missing piece is lol.

My ASD assessment was 12 hours long so I'm confident the AQ was correct.

There's that other test called RAADS or something like that.
I scored super high on that too, both clinically and at home.
I think I had 191/200 ND and 19/200 NT.

I don't know what to say about the Narcissism test.
I always score really low on it.
I don't worry much about what others think of me though.
I'm my own worst critic and don't need others' validation / criticism.
I'm not criticising your score.
I lost my sense of self in trauma.

I scored 9/50 on the narcissist test. People probably need to be assessed by a psychologist if they want to really know if they have narcissism.

I had a very thorough neuropsychological evaluation and was not diagnosed with any personality disorders. I have Autism (level 1), ADHD - inattentive type, PTSD, GAD, and, at the time, mild depression.

Where's the test? I wanna go, anyone got a link? especially if its the 25 question one , 50 questions is a ball ache

https://www.psychmechanics.com/covert-narcissist-test/

My understanding is the Psych lacks empathy, whereas Soc has enough empathy to know they're hurting people but they do it anyway like social sadism, to fuel their own needs. That seems even more deranged to me, but I know there's a lot more to the diagnosis than an empathy measure.

I wish I had the report from my exh's NPD testing. One of his tests was called the Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory or MMPI. It said he presented a danger to the kids in terms of physical and psychological care because he put himself first before them and was dismissive of their needs. I had to do the same tests and mine said I needed to work on interpersonal communication or setting boundaries, but otherwise I had a warm and loving relationship with the kids and no red flag personality disorders. It was about 40 pages in a binder. Unfortunately I came home one day to find my son sobbing because he read the psychiatric reports on his father, and his father's treatment of him as a baby. It really traumatised him so I ran it through the shredder. There's a copy of it on court file somewhere in a courthouse but I don't want to go and dig it up.

If you go by the Dark Triad theory , sociopathy isn't one of the 3, although it is part of the Vulnerable Dark Triad theory.

I think for many years, a psychopath was to describe someone who had these tendencies due to the wiring of their brain. And a sociopath was someone who had these tendencies because their circumstances created them

Personally I've seen autistics at both ends of the empathy spectrum, from extremely empathetic people to people who literally only ever talk about other people as interests, means to an end, lifetime achievements, etc.

(For an example) Think about all the guys with ASD who talk about wanting a partner like they're cool collectible to show their friends and prove they can do it, without any real consideration of why that person might want to be with them - I'd say they're demonstrating an extreme lack of empathy.

Thanks

50/50 I aced it

jk I failed 23 / 50 but only by 2 points

Covert narcissist score = 17 / 50

I probably would have been on the other side of the criteria if I had to do it a decade ago.

I usually score low on the online empathy tests because they involve a lot of cognitive empathy q's.
They also ask a lot about "friends" and I don't have any friends except for online friends.
I can't think of an example but sometimes there's no way to answer the friend questions.
I wish they'd clarify if a friend can mean someone online.
You'd think so, in this day and age?