mirandao wrote:
I feel selfish for worrying about myself. I'm scarred that I won't be able to deal with the future, find a job and happiness. When I was a little kid I loved my history books and I would live in this world I built from those pages.
Now I need to 'grow up' but it feels like I'm a step behind all the time. Once my peers get to the next level I feel as if I'm on the rung just beneath. I can't say anything like this 'in real life' because I'll alienate the few people I talk to and drag them down.
I just want to walk off into the woods and not come back.
Those worries are understandable, I'm sure most of us have felt like that at some point. I think you should talk to at least one of your peers, they are more likely to sympathize with you than to be "dragged down", because you are both at the same stage in life, doing the same type of work. You may be surprised that they share your concerns.
Just keep climbing the ladder, it's all you can do. Learn your work, put your best foot forward, and you'll succeed. And above all, don't waste time comparing yourself to others who seem to have progressed further than you. Because there are always new opportunities coming up, and others could be fired if they lied to get ahead, so things are always changing, and people's 'positions' are always shifting in relation to each other.