ways of coping with your depression and building self esteem

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My depression always stem from me not having a gf and being lonely. I still get lonely, but I wouldn't say I'm depressed. There are three things that have cured my depression.

1. weight lifting
lifting weights increase testosterone. Testosterone increases confidence and assertiveness. Unfortunately I am injured now so I can't workout until I recover.

2. Heavy Metal

3. Lord Shiva (through prayer)

Get a decent haircut.

Buy some smart clothes.

It might not work for everybody, but it works for me, as I've found in September.

What I have trouble with is my racing thoughts.
I lost my job 1 year ago and was out of work 5 months.
I have a job now and am working on digging myself out of the financial abyss.
I do OK mentally for a while, but then my thoughts start racing again, presenting all of the mistakes
I have made in my life and I feel awlful.
Some of it may also be mid life crisis/reanalysis. Me wondering if this is all there is, will life just be plodding along?
It hasn't helped that I have been home with the kids for the last two weeks with the holidays and all, which gives me more
time to dwell on all of this.
Lately, I have been trying to get out of bed right when I wake up, walk on the treadmill for 25 minutes, etc.
After the holidays are over, I probably will go back to the counselor I used to talk to.
I did take an anti-anxiety medicine for several years, but had to quit it when the job/med coverage ended. I really don't want to start a new medicine, I just don't know how long I can deal with the anxiety attacks though.
Any advice would be appreciated.

mjm

Ditching the tough girl act, and being the grown-up Kinks fan that I am.

Getting myself some more exercise...

then maybe theyre not your freinds

I'm pretty sure my depression is basically due to brain chemistry issues. It seems to come on for no particular reason. Medication isn't an option at this point, for various reasons.

But I have noticed that if I take a vitamin B-complex supplement, it helps a bit. I'm not 100% sure of that correlation, but so far so good.


When you're really depressed, though, it's hard to do much of anything. I have a lot things that I enjoy, which can help me feel good. If I'm only a little depressed, for instance, going for a walk can perk me right up. If I'm very depressed, though, I get to the end of the block and think, "Oh, god, I hate this, I just want to go cover myself with a blanket and go to sleep." And in that state, you don't want to be near anyone, in case they say something really awful, like, "Life's what you make it!" or "turn that frown upside down." If those things cheer a person up, then they weren't really all that depressed to begin with.

I don't like drinking.
I'm vegetarian.
I don't have anyone to do it with.

I like the other ones though.

Today, I had a major depressive episode. Biggest I've had in a long time and I usually have one approx every week lasting a day or so. I was working at the time and I got really bad, had almost all my energy drained out of me and felt like I was loosing control. This was followed by sudden anxiety verging on an attack. I thought I was going to have to go home ill and have people talking about it. So, I went to lunch early, worked on some deep breathing and took my mind off it by doing some sudoku.

Anyone got any similar more immediate strategies for less flexible situations? I find these are vital because I certainly do not want to do what you're supposed to in that situation which is call an ambulance straight away.

I used to be almost suicidal...even after I got married and had two beautiful children. This is what really changed things: I completely broke off all ties to my father who was verbally, sometimes physically abusive, he used to try to seduce my friends, as if his goal in life was to nail one of my friends and to make sure I found out about it. Once he got drunk and he come after me. I broke off contact with my mother who never protected me but always protected him. She refers to him as being "misunderstood". After I got away from that dynamic duo, my life became a lot better. I started to fix myself up with make-up and nice cloths, I started driving a car. I'm free to have a friend if I choose too - no worries. I'd like to get a degree in something but don't have the money for that. The money I do have is for my kids not for me.

I starting lifting weights a while ago, and it's given me some confidence. It gives me a bit of a purpose, and a reason to stay "on track" with some other things in my life.

I've tried to channel some negative energy into it, but I'm still depressed and angry even after lifting. I've also been playing guitar for about 6 years, and that's helped as an outlet. But lifting is a big part of my life.

But I'd say lifting and playing guitar has helped to a degree. Both are activities that I can do by myself, which is good.

Get active, I find that exercising makes you feel better, plus it's good for you and can boost your self-esteem.

Found this self-care guide today at a moment that I truly needed it. I found it to be more thorough, and less patronizing than most similar-type documents. (I hope it's okay that I share the link?)

http://www.randypaterson.com/SelfCareManual.pdf

It discusses all aspects/side effects of depression fairly intensely, but what I found really applied to me was this...

"During depression, people usually have a biased way of interpreting events
and situations. They often:
1. See the current situation in an unrealistically pessimistic way,
emphasizing its negative or threatening aspects and ignoring more
positive or promising aspects.
2. Think about themselves in a very critical fashion, judging themselves in a
harsh and unfair manner.
3. Anticipate a future that is bleak and disappointing, exaggerating the
likelihood of very negative outcomes."

I personally have a problem with getting so overwhelmed with lots of little things (usually causing the depressive episode in the first place), that everything just seems to be TOO much. And like I can't possibly do it all, so why do anything at all? (That's when complete apathy takes over, or as they refer more accurately to it, "anhedonia").

The step-by-step advice within this self-care guide is definitely something that can help me (though I realize not everything works for everyone), since it forces me to focus on a FEW, SPECIFIC tasks/problems, and set REASONABLE goals for myself to achieve.

Just hoping that the information therein can help others, too.

I just don't know how to cope when i'm feeling down.

Most of the time I feel fine until I get home and then it's boring and there's no one to talk to, and my parents are sick of hearing it. The strange thing is, it's as if when I'm in an environment where there's people (that I know), and I'm busy doing stuff, I don't have time to feel "down".

Half the time I don't even know why I feel down, cos i don't actually know what I do and do not want.

My life is screwed.

After reading The Happiness Hypothesis I've been doing some meditation and some Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (which I bought a book on, I don't think I could afford to see a therapist). They're both difficult in their own ways (I tried to focus on my breathing today and just kept gagging), but they have helped in that they've given me some sense of control.

Excersizing, having some friends over, watch comedy movies, and my wonder drug Prozac!

I agree with some of the previous posts. Medications such as SSRIs do not work for everyone, but many find benefit from using them. I have found benefit from trying Zoloft. Along with AS, I have OCD and GAD which sometimes forced me to undergo the worst panic attacks. I felt like I was having a panic attack for 3 days in a row sometimes. Even though an actual panic attack occurs in a short timeframe, I felt some of the symptoms such as the fear of death along with difficulty breathing for days. The anxiety was so bad some days that I experienced auditory hallucinations, hearing unpleasant noises in my head such as bone chilling music 'lapses' lasting a few seconds at a time.

Surprisingly going to school has helped me a lot. I dont socialize but Im studying biology and psych and making diagrams of neurons and human bones is very relaxing for me, for example.

But with decreased anxiety my depression has peaked. I feel very lonely and like the previous user mentioned, the 2 friends that I have are no help. In fact they make me feel worse at times. I dont even really consider them friends anymore.

Seriously people say aspies are cold, but the neurotypicals unacceptance of aspies is what's really cold.