Harry_Dawson wrote:
I've been drinking too much for too many years now, and I think it's starting to take it's toll. I've never been much for binge drinking, don't actually like getting very drunk. Instead, I drink to unwind after all the sensory input during the day, and it helps me sleep. I'd say on average I drink about a bottle of wine (or the equivalent thereof) every night.
I don't get much withdrawal if I don't drink, just the usual mild blood sugar drop for a few days, which can easily be addressed with, for example, juice, so I don't get too paranoid about the prospect of not drinking for a few days or weeks if I decide to hold off for a while. The problem is that I always start again after a while, part because of sleeping issues, part because I gradually become much more prone to shutdowns if I haven't had the ability to unwind.
I've tried many ways to solve this issue, including working out, long walks, engaging in my interests, reading/writing, but nothing helps, except for alcohol. I therefore believe that I'm likely to become an alcoholic at some point, despite the fact that I don't have it in the family, and I see no way out of it. I don't think I'm prone to ever hit a "rock bottom" (which I can totally see being the turning point for many people with addiction), and I don't think I'll be able to completely stop unless something like that happens.
The only way out of it, as far as I can tell now, relates to what someone wrote a while back on this thread, namely that I OCD too much about my liver to ultimately kill myself.
Anyway. Just wanted to share, don't know what else to do.
I know exactly what our saying I stopped not because the alcohol was killing my liver but It was raising my blood sugar to high. I was killing my self and didn't know it. Don't wait till you know it by then it may be too late.