Alcohol and Substance Abuse Counselling Thread

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I slipped I have drank tonight and not a little ether I'm 1.5l into 180 proof liquor. A friend that didn't know that I quit gave me two bottles of the cleanest corn liquor that money can not buy for my birth day. It was aged for fifteen years smooth and strong I couldn't resist on such a depressing day.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLtPp_xIpC4[/youtube] [youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNuDJddS4EE[/youtube]
What do you think?

^ Hahaha, spot on! ^

I have 2 years and three months sober in AA...if anyone wants to talk just message me and I'll shoot you my phone number...its hard a lot of the time and most nuerotypical people don't get the challenges of sobriety mixed with the spectrum.

Uhh, why do I always have a strong urge to drink when my dad goes to jail....why is that specifically something that triggers me to crave alcohol to the extent I see no other option than to drink. And there goes my hand reaching for the bottle to pour a shot in my shot glass that says 'go f*** yourself' I have a nicer one at my friends house with a pot leaf but I think the one I have fits the occasion just fine.

but the saying is not directed at my dad...I am more angry at the circumstances that put him there.

I'll get to the alcohol in a moment. I'm taking a big step here in posting this because I'm paranoid, feeling like someone is trying to ruin my life. I was bored a few minutes ago, and decided to google my username. First let me say this: The only places that I go by guitarguy86 are on this forum, and pipesmagazine.com(pipe tobacco website). Those are the only two places. Now, the alcohol. Earlier this month, I got in a very dangerous argument with a friend(no longer) while we were both drunk. Real drunk. I was scared, so I pulled a knife out. He got up and charged me which is what made me pull the knife out. My plan worked. He backed off, the argument ended, and I left the situation. No physical harm done. Considering our past arguments, I figured it was time to end our friendship. This happened at a public campsite. Who knows what was said between him and the neighbors after I left. I talked with him the next day to arrange a time for me to get my stuff back(tent, guitar, etc.) and he didn't even remember me pulling the knife out until I mentioned why I did that. Just before this, he was calling me delusional. Now back to me searching my username out of boredom: What came up was a tweet account under guitarguy86. Also some other websites showed up containing posts under guitarguy86. I don't tweet, nor do I have a phone. Maybe the account is coincidence, but after seeing a post saying "You made me look like a fool, now I'm making you the laughing stock," I'm beginning to wonder. I have schizophrenia, so at times I have a difficult time deciphering fact from nutty beliefs. I was originally looking for advice on my situation, but now I say this: Alcohol will put you in questionable situations. It ruins lives, and makes mental illnesses worse. If it wasn't for alcohol, I wouldn't be in this situation. A situation in which I'm wondering who's against me. This is real, and I'm trying to be very objective, but I don't know where reality meets my delusions. Drinking used to be way more fun for me. Now, I've been known to do weird things like urinate upon the living room floor thinking I was in the bathroom. I'm not the biggest drinker, but I'm not the lightest. I can down a bottle of wine followed by ten shots of whiskey. I just needed to get all of this mess out of me.
EDIT: If anyone wants to talk, PM me. I'm not on this site much, but if I get a PM, I'll get a notification for it in my email, directing me back to the site. I'm on the computer often.

How Is every one making out on reducing or quitting?

I am still drinking less than I used to, but the times I do drink since I've cut down I've mostly drank hard alcohol. Obviously I am not going to stop liking the effects of cannabis but I am seriously considering a break from it, I hate to admit it but it hardly does much for me anymore my tolerance is way high. I can literally smoke an entire bong bowl to myself and my 'high' will last like 15 minutes and be gone.

I have been looking into legal alternatives...So far I cannot find a single herb that is as calming as cannabis but some combinations of herbs help...like i have this stuff my mom got at some health food store or something that has all kinds of calming herbs including chamomile and Valerian root....Kratom is pretty relaxing too but I have yet to find a good source of where to get a decent amount for a reasonable price its pretty expensive at head shops. I just want to find an alternative I am comfortable with before I really try and go without it....and I feel I cannot for sure trust that I will for sure get any prescription that actually helps my anxiety so its best to have some herbal back up.

Kudos Sweetleaf as to the herbal method if you have a large natural food store nearby and know the ingredients it will be far cheaper to blend your own than the stuff from the head shop.

Kind of falling off the wagon tonight found a bottle in the workshop I missed when I was purging.

Well I suppose I drank a bit too much last night....and my mom got worried because I had fallen asleep in my desk chair, I tend to fall asleep in kind of random places when I get drunk on vodka after the initial energetic phase wears off. She was right that I had drank a bit too much, I just got done puking in the toilet to prove it but she was thinking it was way more serious than it was. But I was able to convince her I was alright.

I am just a bit embarrassed, I wasn't really planning to drink that much and certainly didn't mean to overdo it since that involves puking and feeling sick the next day. Not to mention I kind of feel bad for my mom worrying, but in reality that was pretty much the most uneventful occurance of me drinking too much if she hadn't come in my room chances are I would have woke up after a while realized I was sitting at my desk and then lay in my bed and go to sleep then of course the getting a glass of water at 3 in the morning and puking this morning would have still occurred just the same.

Opeth how are you doing?

I'm going okay thanks, this is my 14th day. Its hard keeping occupied though

How about you?