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racheypie666
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27 Mar 2017, 7:50 pm

That, Lillikoi, was an excellent rant.

I can empathise with you so much on not being able to feel, on not knowing who you are. They push you so hard to be what they want you to be, and forget that you're a real person - you're alive, you have feelings, you need the room and the freedom to be yourself (and work out who that is). I don't know if you're able to access any counselling/therapy (maybe at school?), but if you can then I'd highly recommend it. It doesn't help exactly, in that the problems are still there, but sometimes having the time and the environment to speak and be heard (and get really emotional :lol: ) can give you some release. That's my experience, anyway.

My first 2 years at uni, I desperately wanted to drop out. Depression and isolation were destroying me, and I needed to leave, but I was trapped there for fear of my parents' reactions. I believed - I truly believed - that if I dropped out, they would disown me, and I would have nowhere to go. I thought I wouldn't have anywhere to live, I thought nobody in the world would love me or care about me anymore (because they were the only ones who did :roll: ). I really thought I had to die; it was the only option I could see, and those thoughts didn't spring into my head for no reason. My upbringing put them there. My parents, particularly my father, put them there. I thought if I wasn't perfect, I'd be dead.

You need to get out of there.
You're already thinking independently, you can see what she's doing is wrong.

How long until your Birthday, will you be able to live where/with whom you like?

Hugs for the (((((Dolphin)))))) :heart: :heart: :heart:



Raleigh
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27 Mar 2017, 10:08 pm

I don't understand anything that's going on.
Some attempt at explanation would be nice.


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Lillikoi
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28 Mar 2017, 5:49 pm

You don’t have to bring every conversation around to my dad, or paying for college, or my phone, or your own f*****g complaints.
i’m sick of hearing them! :x

Not every f*****g sentence has to be a threat. :roll:

Maybe I’m being kind of rude, and maybe I’m being kind of irresponsible, but leave me the f**k alone!

I would say f**k this, but if I don’t stick around with your s**t for a while, you aren’t gonna pay for my college.

And I’m pretty sure Dad’s not gonna either. Even though he’s got a ton of money. -_____-



Last edited by Lillikoi on 28 Mar 2017, 10:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Lillikoi
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28 Mar 2017, 5:55 pm

Well, excuuuse me for being "rude." :roll:



Lillikoi
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28 Mar 2017, 5:59 pm

This is literally tenth grade all over again. :evil:



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28 Mar 2017, 6:00 pm

Except this time, I know how to handle this $h!t,

And I’m gonna have a hell of a time, and prove you wrong. 8)



Raleigh
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29 Mar 2017, 12:28 am

I just want to say f**k it all.
I want to go.
Into oblivion.
No announcements.
Slip away quietly.
You won't even notice I'm gone.


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Raleigh
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29 Mar 2017, 1:02 am

Someone help me.
There's no one.
No one.


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Raleigh
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29 Mar 2017, 1:07 am

I will help myself.
To some stainless steel.


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Raleigh
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29 Mar 2017, 1:12 am

Raleigh wrote:
This weirdo stranger on the internet sends you love and hugs. :heart:

No hugs accepted.
No love here.


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Raleigh
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29 Mar 2017, 1:50 am

I am disposed to die.
Talk me out of it, haha.

*hint: don't bother.


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Froya
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29 Mar 2017, 8:20 am

Lillikoi wrote:
Except this time, I know how to handle this $h!t,

And I’m gonna have a hell of a time, and prove you wrong. 8)

If you feel you can't get away from the situation right now (because she is paying for college), at least fighting back is better then just taking the abuse. You go girl! :thumright:



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29 Mar 2017, 8:23 am

For Raleigh

Image



Windigo
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29 Mar 2017, 12:09 pm

Lost my two best friends in one month :(

One because his girlfriend thinks I have a crush on him (never did in 10 years of friendship) and he chooses her over me.

And the other because her new friends don't like me ...

Aspie life I guess :|


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TheWadeSmellbringer
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29 Mar 2017, 5:15 pm

I have only 2 friends, no hope for my future, no hobby outside of playing video games and pretending to be a writer. I go to college but all I do is go to class and sit in the library on my computer, pissing the hours away. My brother and sister are in the army and about to graduate college respectively mean while I still live with my parents and have no clue what to do with my life. I don't even know how to make friends or where to go or what to do.

I missed the best years of my life and the only reason I haven't killed myself is because I'm on Porzac and cna't think about it for long. I'm trapped in a loop and I want it to end one way or the other. I'm just tired of being alone, I hate every moment of my miserable f**k existanceand I don't know what to do. My entire life is a sick twisted joke and i hate it.


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Raleigh
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29 Mar 2017, 5:25 pm

And there's flooding, of course.
Cyclonic winds and driving rain.
And my boat will be lost.
I have no way of retrieving it.
Can't drive.
Have no rig suitable if I could drive.
Can't ask for help.
No one to help.
One thing lost after another.
Loser.


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