1,001 Ways to Cheer Yourself Up

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Those places are so sad. I just feel so sorry for those poor girls who are exploited by men. Makes me ashamed to be a male and makes me want to get in touch with my feminine side. In stead, I like to ....

583. go to a library.

(but I think I should do more research into strip clubs - well someone has to ... )

584. Set up shop in Anna Kournikova's bush.















I meant do her landscaping. What were you thinking, pervert?

585. Yeah all the good men do not goto strip club resulting in the women dealing with
Jerks. The only way to improve conditions for these nice girls is for good men to
to attend the clubs in large numbers. Try to improve conditions at strip clubs.

Wouldn't that take business away from your strip club, TM1? As they say, all the guys who are rich, good-looking, and caring already have boyfriends.

586. Drag out a full-length mirror and do a striptease for yourself.

586. Do more research into strip clubs - visit everyone in town

588. Get front row seats for Dame Edna Everage's burlesque debut.

589) Help someone hooked on drugs getoff......................(insert your joke here)......................... Oh take your cat to a rehab center to get off catnip.

590. Mend a broken friendship.

591. Broke a mended friendship.

592. Clean out your closets and have a Garage Sale.

593. Buy a bargain at a garage sale

594. Do the ordinary stuff in an extraordinary way.

595. Test-drive expensive cars.

596. Quit your job.

597. Find some hookers.

598. Buy more beer. This can be in conjuncture with 597

599. Write a database that stores all 1001 things that will brighten your day and have it suggest one randomly once a day.

600. Find a new job (see 597). Prostitution is fun!

601. If you're not making enough money in your new job, look into the business opportunities and goverment support grants that are applicable for setting up your own red-light district in your area.

602. Further degrade the English language by inventing new spellings of current words. For instance, "Knife" spelt with three silent q's on the end.

603. Post new word definitions on www.urbandictionary.com

604. Listen to "Sir Psycho Sexy" (Red Hot Chilli Peppers) and look up all the words on www.urbandictionary.com

605. Stay up all night drinking coffee.

He who fears he will suffer, already suffers because of his fear.
-Michel de Montaigne

606. Never hang your head in defeat.