scale of -10 to +10, how do you feel right now?

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3.5

Why is that harsh? It's not the sort of thing I'd watch to cheer myself up and I think Lilya 4-Ever is a great film.

1.

At times my life feels like a roller-coaster of confusion and realization, with those nice little in-between times where I get to go "Oh s**t..." and "...what's next?"

Realizations like the above scare the s**t out of me, the thought that no, I really don't have as much say in my life as I'd like, but at the same time that its like that for everyone to some extent. Its not that I'm suffering more than anyone, or that I necessarily have it harder than anyone else. It could merely be that I simply can't deal with s**t as well as I feel like I need to. I think that's what scares me the most.

I'm just happy that I somehow managed to not buy the 12 pack of beer tonight. Well, not happy, not even really relieved. I've got a quiz tomorrow early that I feel entirely unprepared for, and while I'm not in any mental state to study for it, at least I have the chance of making the class and being able to work from what I remember from lecture.

ok, I'm done bitching...

Hmm...Now I don't even remember how I thought it was....
I was feeling sad, and then watching my favourite movie made me happier, and I cried a lot which relieved me a lot.

-10. I've betrayed the closest friend that I've made here at WrongPlanet, over the past three days.

I want to put an end to the pain, right this second.

8: I'm learning. Just waiting for a quiet moment with a girl here I fancy. Let no flower shine brighter than I.

3.

2. I don't know why I have been feeling so down lately. I should be feeling better today, considering something that happened yesterday. Maybe I am still adjusting from coming off of adderall.

8: Good, very content at the moment. Time to get some sleep in before tomorrow, I think. Whether I will be able to sleep easily is another question, though.

7.

Bout 2/3 done with a bottle of wine, thought of different ways of looking at what happened this last weekend.

That, and the (now deleted) stupidity shown above with the whole "LOOK AT ME I BEAT THE SYSTEM please give me attention" just makes me feel somewhat warm and fuzzy inside, can't really say why.

Last edited by shadexiii on 06 Feb 2007, 11:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

That made me laugh, and I went up a number. So, 8.
Today was the 2nd snow day in a row, and there may be one tomorrow. It's snowing pretty heavily and it's going to be really cold again, so just maybe...

5. Better now. Crazy mood bouncing around.

eh, back to between a 3 and a 4.

Friday's catching up with me....

edit: ok, that number keeps going down, and even though I have alcohol I really don't feel like drinking.

edit: about a 1 now. I've got this horrible feeling that I'm becoming that which I hate.

5 I'm going to sit on the fence at the moment. I've got a meeting this afternoon which is always a bit hit and miss. I could come out smelling of roses or I could end up in it up to my neck . I can just never tell - well, keeps me on my toes.

2.

Sleep helped a bit, but I still feel like a complete ass.

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