Rants

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At the beginning of this semester I audited a class for interpersonal communication to see what it was like and if it would be helpful at all. (I was leery because it was mainly for Speech majors).

I was kind of surprised. The things we were going to be learning actually would be very helpful. It actually was a class on how to have conversations and read body language. But then, of course, I noticed that the class wasn't exactly geared towards people with social ineptness, no, Heaven forbid someone might actually f*****g learn something in a class instead of sign up for it just to get an easy grade in a topic they already know. Everyone in that f*****g class was very social. I stuck out like a 450 lb. man at anorexics anonymous.

The icebreaker in the class was when the prof asked everyone in the class to share their name AND, the to tell another member of the class most embarrassing experience in your life so that they could tell it to the class. Then I heard that the class was graded on having to go out and tape record conversations with your friends and then analyze them. When I heard that I knew I couldn't take the class because I have no friends and I already had a full load. f**k, and I wanted to learn something. It still pisses me off. Why can't they make a class like this designed for people who f*****g need it?

Almost 24/7 I feel like s**t! I want this to stop!

Life just seems overwhelming today. I can't decide on anything. I don't know what to do, what to think, etc... I feel paralyzed, and I can't stand it. I.....

Damnit! I hope I don't end up in damn juvy because of my parents!

My therapist told me to go out and look for a mate. Easy for him to f*cking say, HE doesn't have AS. Where in the hell am I going to find someone willing to accept someone like me around here? Does he really think that an NT woman is going to accept the fact that I refuse to get involved in the things most NT's my age do? Does he really think that an NT woman is going to accept someone that cannot function like everyone else does socially? THEY WON'T!! ! Let's say there are NT women that would take me, where in the hell am I going to find them? I'll tell you where, IN A F*CKING PIPE DREAM!! !! !

I keep on having the feeling that someone has made a hate video or website about me. I've found some videos from my old school on youtube, I'm scared to watch them in case some of them are about me, but at the same time I want to be sure that they're not. I've tried googling my name and found nothing, but I still have that feeling. How do I make it go away?

Animated flash ads or just plain animated bar ads and the like are really getting on my nerves by slowing page loads. Good thing pop-ups are blocked or some companies would be on the receiving end of negative feedback. (I may add more sites to block bar ads from.)

I HATE THE STUPID PRICKS AT MY COLLEGE WHO THINK THEY CAN TELL ME WHO TO BE!

duh!! ! BEING AN ASPIE IS BEING AN IDIVIDUAL, AND I'M NOT GOING TO CHANGE TO FIT EVERYBODY ELSE!! !! !


ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh... THIS IS PISSING ME OFF!

I really am boring.

I hate having AS.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrr


Getting seriously pissed off right now. On another forum, in the health and beauty forum, I discuss health and beauty stuff. If people ask about a product, I'll often point out the ingredients in it that are noxious and nasty. Or if they're going on about something like soy I'll point out that soy is really bad for you, and explain why. None of this is rude, talking down at anyone, unreasonable, obnoxious, or unwanted because a lot of the other posters now ask for my advice on things and on chemicals and on diet and nutrition and whatnot.

Then last week, one of my threads got deleted because I mentioned aspartame's toxicity, and there's a big flashing 'Splenda' advert on the site. I had a rude email from the new editor about it. Then other girls complained about it being taken down, and she put a huge rant about it on that one.

Next thing another person puts a huge whopping personal attack about me on the general discussions, and another couple of girls join in. Totally uncalled for, irrelevent, and full of s**t. I explained why I'm so concerned about these things - basically I'm sick of seeing people sick and dying because of this crap we're told is so good for us - and it was deleted. Then a bunch of other girls join in attacking me! Another few start sticking up for me, who are in the majority, and their posts are censored too.

Now, in reaction to that, someone else has started another thread in the beauty section about 'ingredients to avoid' - I've put a list of stuff on there, but I know it'll just get taken down.

I'm seriously at my wit's end with all this - a huge website is now hell-bent on censoring people and their opinions, virtually encouraging personal attacks, and tearing a rift in a really close-knit community (a lot of us meet up offline every week) because a couple of people disagree with a few things I've said (which are all factual).

I don't quite know what to do, it's really really pissing me off. I've been on there for four years, I know all the girls, suddenly new editor comes along, starts advertising crap like diet coke and aspartame and 'natural skincare' (which I pointed out is as far from natural as you can get), and goes all censor-censor and encouraging attacks!!


And I suspect it's the AS, but it was completely out of the blue and unexpected, and has taken me totally by surprise. And I don't know what to do in this kind of situation. I don't know what I can and can't post, what I can and can't say, etc.


Just needed to get that off my chest.

DAMMIT!! !! !!

I'M SO F*CKING TIRED OF PEOPLE ASKING ME FOR MONEY!! !! !! !! !

I am the only member of my family that has any and I am all time hit up for money. I don't always lend it to them but they persist. It wouldn't be so bad if their debt wasn't their own fault. But they waste their money on sh*t they don't need or even use, boats, campers, etc. If they wouldn't spend like total idiots they would have money. Today was the last straw! From now on, I'M NOT LOANING A F*CKING DIME UNTIL I GET SOME OF IT BACK!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

The customer is always right.

I hate that saying since I tend take things literally.
It conflicts with my logic. There have been times where a customer was wrong about something. Therefore the statement cannot be true.

I understand what it is supposed to mean, but it still conflicts with my brain.

A baby. s**t.

To whom it may concern,

Stop playing these stupid jerkoff games. I think I'll ignore you from now on if that's what you're hinting at. Sorry to bother you if I really was a bother. I can never tell these things as I have AS. I try not to come off as brash and rude, maybe it's you and not me. I don't know. I would like to know why you think it's OK, to do what you're doing but if you feel too pompous for that than don't bother as you never have. That really hurts, bye.

And now the harassment has extended itself to my PM box.