Rants

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Nico, that's true; I know how you feel. I felt like that about this girl in seventh grade who was everybody's friend but picked on me and one other girl. Even my friends (or rather, acquaintances) respected her, though two of my acquaintances, who were, ironically, her closest friends, told her not to be so critical.


I'm still nauseated. I'm eating, hoping it will make me throw up. I hate the feel of fingers or salt water or soap in my throat.

I could use a drink right about now.

me too
and I don't drink lol

^sorry to hear that.

I just wish I had some sanity to handle things and the only way I did was by drinking. Now I don't know what to do except drink.

MY FATHER'S SUCH A JERK!! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !

^)0(^

Jack wants me to get up and walk around when I feel nauseated and was throwing up all yesterday and today and the day before yesterday, and motion makes me sick!

I hate people who make out they feel something for me but then make out I don't exist to other people.

vicky,
dont come near am,do not even speak anywhere near am,am do not want to see or hear anywhere in the building,or area.
how many years have known am now and still treat am like s****t,maybe after today will finally get the message that am do not want anywhere near,saying that do like am and understand everything and then saying every nasty thing possible about am when think am cant hear-to other staff is one of the main reasons am hate vicky and it takes so much to actually make am hate anything.
she pretends to listen to the autism training,and when the managers gone,she says it's all because am fussy and am a child that gets away with everything,and even though she has had years of restraining courses combined with the aut stuff,she still comes at am from the back,uses light touch and wonders why am cracking skull,arms,legs etc on the wall,and then fighting her off.

just thinking about her makes am feel sick,she has put am through so much over the years along with the other staff that is just like her-wendy [though is good she is off long term now],am cant lock self away from her because she instantly undoes it all and then starts shouting,am have wanted to die a lot to get away from her and her friend/wendy.

when she came back today,from her forced annual leave holiday from weeks ago [due to another explosive incident she had with am] it set am off,ended up smashing up room from bed,through the can of pepsi max that had been in hand at her and the laptop table in other,am ran into the toilet room as its the only place that has a lock on it,and theyve got no idea how to open it.
evening staff then came in,and she said she knew instantly what had happened so am let her into the toilet room as she understands why hate vicky.

the managers knew of the problems with vicky for years,and knew she wasnt right,but they still put both her and her friend to work with am only,WTF is that about? staff are trying to get a meeting for am with manager tomorrow about this,but she will use the same old excuse-'cant do anything about it,it would mess up the rotas for the rest of the staff',staff said thats rubbish as its been done for other staff who were bad with am before.

What am I sick of today?
(Because believe me, I find something new to get worked up about every day)

"Nice guys finish last". Or at least, the "...finish last" part.
I understand what the phrase is going on about - I've been on the receiving end on several occasions. Hell, my last girlfriend ditched me because she said I was too nice all the time - too self sacrificing, and such. And then the new bloke, she complains about almost constantly. But you know what? I don't think I finished last. Hell, I think I came first by a mile or two. I mean yeah, I don't have a romantic relationship with her, but the "just friends" thing is really much better in many ways. We can still do all the fun stuff together, but I don't find myself being too soppy, or whatever her complaints were. We can still have late nights watching DVDs cuddled up together, because now, we're more like brother and sister than partners or just friends. The experience of being in a relationship with her really made me grow up a lot, and also made us a lot more open with each other - and because we're not in a relationship, we can be *more* open with each other than we'd feel comfortable with being if we *were* together. I like knowing that if her boyfriend is f*****g her off, she can come and complain to me - I know that I'm at the end of the line, her final confidant. If we were together, I'd never be sure (paranoia and all that) if she was really voicing all her concerns to me - but with the friendship we have as a result of our past relationship, I really know where I stand.
When we were partners, I was always afraid of what might come along and tear us apart, and that stopped me being myself - made me try too hard. But as we are now, we can both be ourselves, and I don't think I'll ever lose her.
So yeah, I lost a partner - but I gained a sister. She means as much to me as my blood relatives (the ones I like ), and I don't have to feel scared of losing that.

So finishing last? No. I've won the prize that I didn't previously know even existed. And I think that the phrase "nice guys finish last" is too relationship-focussed. There's a lot more to life than who you share the romantic side of it with - and I feel like I can share every aspect of my life (and enjoy it more, as a result) with her in a way that I couldn't before. So yeah, I'll have a "replacement" partner sooner or later - but they'll never replace my big sister.

I've had it with my English teacher! Oh my god, if she says one more thing to me, I'm gonna need someone to hold me back.... If she bothers me, she's dead.

You know why I don't like telling people of my AS diagnosis and just don't like the diagnosis? Because my mother kept insisting I work on my issues to fix them and try to be normal, instead of just living my way and doing just as well. I resent that.

I think I know why so many people don't believe AS is a real condition:
1.They all just think "I don't have any issues with this, this, this or this, so therefore nobody else in this world does either, and anyone who claims to is only faking it for attention and pity!".
And 2: Saying it doesn't exist is much, much easier than actually bothering to look it up.

There's no point in getting to work at 7am.
I'm not a frickin' mornin' person.
I always put a big dent in tomorrow's workload today.
Customer service doesn't even show up until 8...
And customer service gives our department its work.
So if I leave work today knowing that there will be
no work the following morning until after 8am,
WHY SHOULD I F****N' HAVE TO WAKE MY ASS UP
AT 6 F****N' FIFTEEN JUST TO COME HERE AND
SIT ON IT AND WAIT FOR WORK THAT I KNOW
WILL NOT GET TO MY DESK UNTIL AN HOUR LATER?

It's the BOSS, isn't it? That guy always thinks he's right,
but he's totally clueless about running the company.
He's very much a "because I say so" type of loser.
Abandon all logic ye who enter here.