my mom killed herself today.

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Big hugs to you - I am so sorry for your loss.

Very sorry about your loss Hyperlexian its terrible

my condolences

Sorry for your loss. You have my condolences.

thanks so much. it warms my heart that there are so many warm people out there.

so sorry, Hyperlexian.

Oh wow, that's incredibly sad...

Sorry for your loss, I hope you find some comfort and that you have good support at this time.

Never forget all your and your sisters' attempts to save her; it may help you to avoid taking it out on yourself at any point in the future.

Deepest sympathies

thanks katzefrau and Niamh.

people always say that they don't really know what to say in this situation, but the kindness on WP is immense.

How are you holding on Hyper?

I'm glad you know we're here for you - it's not much, but it is something...

I'm so sorry, hyperlexian. You are a very strong person to be able to hold yourself together, your mother seems like she did care about you but was unable to express it through due to her very tough struggles. I hope the best for you through this difficult time, and may you take plenty of time to heal and recover. I wish you and your family the best.

i'm ok, Sallamandrina. my mother was cremated today. i was supposed to return to work tomorrow but my boss managed to get me a couple of extra days off by sliding my bereavement leave forward.

i have a constant stomachache and am so tired and so cold (all related to my emotional state). but i also know that i can get through this. i need to be as healthy and as strong as i can be in order to accomplish that. i have an appointment for the consultation with a surgeon on thursday, so that i can get a date for my upcoming procedure that i mentioned elsewhere. that will be a good things as it will help me to refocus my attention where it is needed - on the people who are still living (including myself).

my two sisters and i are attending counselling together for a few sessions too, at least for as long as we are here in the city together. one of my sisters lives across the country and is only staying until friday, though she will be back after christmas.

thank you anneurysm. i am strong and also weak. but i am working on the weaker areas to get me through this ok.

At least her suffering is over. It sounds like she was ill beyond repair, anyway. I hope you'll cope well and feel better soon.

I'm sorry to read about your loss, take care.

hey thanks for your support everyone. i must be feeling a little better as i am taking the time to debate again on threads on WP. this pain-in-the-ass is back in the saddle! well, not totally. but a little bit.

my sisters and i started arguing a little so we met up to discuss finances and stuff. since my mother did not appoint an executor, things are complicated (my first thought was... what was she thinking? she had a LAW DEGREE and knew the importance of an executor! then i remembered that all of her money is in cash and she was hiding from creditors, so maybe this was her way of protecting us).

i am going to attend a suicide bereavement group in a few months (a person has to wait until 3 months have passed since the death before joining), and i am signing up for therapy and more therapy through my doctor.

day to day i am functioning okay. husband is caring for the household and cooking and cleaning until i am at 100%.

Oh wow. I'd hate to give you more bad news but I say find a good lawyer. If she's hoarding cash and running from the creditors, you and your family are legally responsible for it in the eyes of the law. I don't know how it works in Canada but I know in the US, you MUST file an form with the IRS if you have a financial transaction over $10,000 in cash - cash being currency or a money order.

we don't have to claim the money, actually. inheritances are tax free, as are lottery winnings. YAY CANADA!

we will have to do her income taxes, but her earnings are already claimed and not hidden - this cash is already taxed as she received it from her employer. if she didn't pay enough taxes through her employer we will pay the difference.

the executor (or relatives) can make a formal notice of death (optional), and the creditors can make a claim against the estate, but they will not likely do so. this is a way of forestalling future claims against the estate. there is a chance that any income tax refund or insurance payout could be taken as well.

the lawyer's fees would actually be higher than the cash we found, by the way!

Nice. I know in the US, there is an estate tax. I'm shocked Canada doesn't have an estate tax!