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Joining WP is probably the worst thing i ever did in my life

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CockneyRebel
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11 Oct 2011, 9:34 pm

The thing about WP is that it's a very large community and the more members we have, the more we're going to clash. I've gotten used to it over the past 7 years. I remember what a supportive little community this was in 2004 when WP was just born. We didn't even have The Haven. There are some days that I find The Haven to be less supportive these days in 2011 than WP was as a whole in 2004. I keep on coming here, because I know that WP is the only social network that I feel that I truly have along with my clubhouse. I took a mini break from WP in the Spring of 2009. I came back in full force in the September of 2009, because I realized how much of a help that WP could be for me. If you want to leave, that's your decision and I support that. I hope that you do reconsider some time in the future.


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CockneyRebel
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11 Oct 2011, 10:03 pm

Twolf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
inclusion is necessary. there are all types on here and all types all welcome. we will not segregate individuals based on social skills (or diagnostic status, for that matter).


Thank you, Hyperlexian.


I'd like to thank you as well. This site is for all types of people on the spectrum and everybody should be made to feel welcome.


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hyperlexian
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11 Oct 2011, 10:12 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
Twolf wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
inclusion is necessary. there are all types on here and all types all welcome. we will not segregate individuals based on social skills (or diagnostic status, for that matter).


Thank you, Hyperlexian.


I'd like to thank you as well. This site is for all types of people on the spectrum and everybody should be made to feel welcome.

<3 thank you both for that. i try really hard, as do all of the moderators and admin.


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MR20
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12 Oct 2011, 11:59 am

I should've never joined this site and remained oblivious to the successful aspies in the world. It didn't do anything but make me more bitter, jealous, miserable about my situation.


I especially hate the higher functioning a-hole aspies that claim people like me are the way we are because we don't try hard enough, whine, and wallow in self pity. BS. Like they weren't born more normal looking and smarter than the lowing functioning people along with other advantages.



Last edited by MR20 on 12 Oct 2011, 3:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Maje
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12 Oct 2011, 2:06 pm

There is a chance that this site finally will bring me down too.

Being a little afraid of that, I still cant stop coming here because of all the changes I go through when I read about peoples thoughts here - and do stupid things here. I somehow find its expanding me somehow, but the depressive side of it all is affecting me too...

Im probably one of the higher functioning as*holes you're talking about, and thats not what I intend. Sorry :cry:



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13 Oct 2011, 3:49 am

Look,many people,especially girls treated me good.This site made me confused and depressed,lowered my self esteem from some stories and depression and all that even though i know many people objectively treated me good but i don't feel it anymore.



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13 Oct 2011, 5:36 am

Fnord wrote:
SadAspy wrote:
Fnord wrote:
If logging in to WP is making someone angry, depressed, hateful, or suicidal, then maybe - just maybe - they would be better off logging in elsewhere. I mean, if the cause can not be removed, then maybe removing the victim from the cause is the next-best thing to do. It's like when I have to go to the front office - I can't stand those yammering sales/marketing types. They're loud, rude, crude, and generally disrespectful of us engineers. I feel angry, frustrated, and insulted every time I have to deal with them. But I (usually) don't have to deal with them. I can just stay away, back in my office or the production area, doing what I enjoy, and not exposing myself to hose jerks unless it's absolutely necessary.
Where else am I supposed to go? How about instead of adopting a "love it or leave it" attitude, you actually try to understand why this forum is not helping and is in fact hurting some people? It says something when my fellow Aspies are treating me as badly or worse than NTs do.

Just how do you want this website and its members to accommodate you?


Yes, exactly. Maybe some better ideas on how to improve WP instead of just complaining.



jackbus01
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13 Oct 2011, 5:42 am

imcaptainkirk wrote:
A lot of people here don't feel listened to. A message board is like an ordinary conversation. If someone on here puts in too much of their own opinion and doesn't take in another's it's like shouting at someone or speaking over them. That's what some people do.


Sorry, I don't agree. Ordinary conversations are usually between 2 people. In a thread it invites multiple opinions from many different people. Sometimes these posts are ignored. There is less give and take then would be expected in a normal converstaion.



jackbus01
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13 Oct 2011, 5:48 am

aspie48 wrote:
JohnyJohn wrote:
It made depressed,suicidal.They say ignorance is bliss.Disgusting posts and threads.

delete your account then.


@JohnyJohn You are just complaining and not offering suggestion to change--and you wonder why the response is negative!
Also you start your own thread with your own ideas and posts.

@aspie48 Maybe you should work on being more tactful, but you are right, if the OP ultimately finds this place so negative, then maybe they should leave.



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13 Oct 2011, 10:26 am

Todesking wrote:
We will be better off and stronger without you. :twisted:


That's bang out of order.



Keeno
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13 Oct 2011, 10:52 am

Surfman wrote:
II feel that the cool smart ass wordsmith aspies, are creating an environment that is unsupportive and unfriendly for less fortunate WP members.

Humour and subtle in jokes are difficult to understand.
Creating intelligently worded banter is out of reach and enviable
Men and women are forming relationships that can be heartbreaking for lonely and less compatible members who struggle more to meet another.

Many sources of pain are here in WP forums for some members. We should consider what can be practically done for those less fortunate than ourselves.


This - I couldn't have put it better myself. I may be seen as a wordsmith, but equally sure as hell not a smart ass. I occasionally feel like leaving because of the environment the smart asses create, but because there is something for everyone all the time here, fortunately I keep coming back.

There's so much going on here on WP that you can to an extent dip into parts that would be happier for you instead of parts that would depress you.



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13 Oct 2011, 10:44 pm

Probably the worst thing you've joined? So you don't know for sure?



jackbus01
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13 Oct 2011, 11:21 pm

Actually, what I do see a lot of and what I think is going on, is that a lot of people lack tact (maybe even me!) and that causes a lot of hurt feelings. This really should not surprise anyone that people on an asperger forum would lack tact.

I think everyone who posts on the Haven is looking for sympathy and there is nothing wrong with that. However when someone says this is the worst place they have ever posted--of course there is going to be a negative backlash! My gut reaction to this is "what's your problem" but I tried to temper my response because I did not want to cause hurt feelings.



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14 Oct 2011, 5:03 am

Apparently the problem is of both sides. Side one is the less fortunate or lower functioning aspies of this forum. Those guys on the one hand want a more supportive environment and they are right as such, but a few seem to make harsh comments and blame the other side, the higher functioning or more furtunate aspies in their issues and misfortunate in life, by being disgusting trolls that argue for the sake of arguing. Side number 2, fearful of these trolls whining doesn't understand that not all of the unlucky aspies here whine and b***h (such as the OP), so although it has the right to defend itself from the angry trolls, it doesn't have the right to banish someone from our community. Remember, we're all aspies and all in the same side. There is no side one and side two. Why would WE aspies factionalize ourselves?? we are stronger together, unite, and if there was more tolerance from each and every one of us, things would be better.



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14 Oct 2011, 4:29 pm

I haven't been involved in any arguments or perceived attacks or harassment, so I do not have personal experience of being disciplined by OP or WP management. That said , I do feel that some form of control is needed. There are cruel people everywhere. WP is a place for people who have difficulty communicating with and being understood by most people. If we hurt each other, that's like setting fire to the sanctuary...everyone loses their safe place. I did read one deliberate, personal attack..it was ugly and deliberately hurtful and the OP took action that was necessary. I come here for company and camaraderie, I can't get that from NTpeople, so I appreciate that there are some people I can talk to and be accepted by. I also appreciate that the moderators look out for us, because unfortunately it is needed sometimes....Sylkat



Last edited by Sylkat on 15 Oct 2011, 12:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

jackbus01
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15 Oct 2011, 10:16 am

Sylkat wrote:
I haven't been involved in any arguments or perceived attacks or harassment, so I do not have personal experience of being disciplined by OP or WP management. That said , I do feel that some form of control is needed. There are cruel people everywhere. WP is a place for people who have difficulty communicating with and being understood by most people. If we hurt each other, that's like setting fire to the sanctuary...everyone loses their safe place. I did read one deliberate, personal attack..it was ugly and deliberately hurtful and the OP took action that was necessary. I come here for company and camaraderie, I can't get that from NTpeople, so I appreciate that there are some people I can talk to and be accepted by. I also appreciate that the OPs look out for us, because unfortunately it is needed sometimes....Sylkat


yeah, from what I've seen here the mods (moderators) do a good job stopping personal attacks.

OP="Original Poster"