Anyone get to the point that they get sick of WP?

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I find these boards are just way too toxic when I linger around for too long. All the self-righteousness, condescension, dysfunction, loathing, and pettiness can really wear me down. Sometimes it's a support forum and other times it's just a cesspool where we act like as*holes behind the safety of our computer screens. I know we have it hard in society but a lot of us are so obsessed with whatever axe we have to grind that it defines us entirely and it's like we have no identity outside of our agendas. How much do you really have going for you if you're just a one trick pony?

Your at the stage of your career where your wondering was it worth it , what am I doing here on wp , could I have used my time better, so many what if's.

Tell you what would you like me to do a Tequila appreciation thread in your honor would this help?

I would really love to get up and be positive and cheerful. I came here looking for a place to learn about myself...

...and I have learned A LOT. Unfortunately, none of it is very positive. In addition, the negativity mirrors what I have picked up from expert opinions and from just getting up, going out, and living my day-to-day life.

1) I've learned that, 20 years after I was a spectrum kid, parents still don't have any better idea of how to help thier spectrum kids grow up to be happy, functioning adults. This is a real concern for me-- my son, whatever he has, is intelligent enough and EXTREMELY mildly affected. It would be a shame for him to waste his intelligence playing video games and collecting SSDI for the rest of his life because we didn't know what to do, didn't find the right expert, didn't guess the right questions and come up with the right answers. Frankly, at least on the mild end of the alternative gene pool, the only thing that's changed for parents of spectrum kids (and the spectrum kids we parent) since I was a child is the pressure level...

...and that for the worse.

2) My story, as rotten as it was, really wasn't that bad. I had a loving family, I found friends, I at least got my head above water and made a life. Millions of people had (and have) it worse. All the hell I've been through, and the struggles I still have, are pretty much common across the board...

...and NO ONE seems to have successes or solutions to discuss. I have learned that, for me anyway, this is as good as it gets and the good old days are right now. As rough as things are right now-- rough enough, with plenty of things I wish I could fix (communication problems with my spouse chief among them)-- my best bet is to shut up and smile a lot before I find out how much worse things can get, how fast.

3) Be very, very wary of "Help."

I'd love to find a forum full of positive, upbeat autistics who have either made themselves useful within the limits of their disability, or found ways overcome the problems enough to make themselves useful in more conventional ways. I;d love to know how Aspie women with happy marriages manage to make it work-- but I don't think there are any. I'd love to know how Aspies with rewarding careers make it happen (my husband swears that they're out there, and I just need to can it with the gloom and doom)-- but I don't think there are any out there.

I know how Daddy did it-- his uncle, the superintendent, got him a job in the coal mines; from there, his brother-in-law, the uber-NT, gave him an elbow in the ribs every time he opened his mouth wide enough to be in danger of losing his job (not to underrate the importance of union protections). Well, I'm not sure nepotism is a valid job search strategy for most of us; I further doubt that most of us are going to find "babysitters," even at the premium in adulation and ass-kissery that Saint Alan paid to The King of PTSD.

I'd love to have some hope. I start off every day in a search for hope. But I'm running out of basis on which to build any.

why would you want positive ? safe to assume I am not alone it would just feel like their rubbing our noses in it.

This thread complaining about negativity seems more negative than most. Also, I think it is unfair to many of the kind, thoughtful, helpful, interesting, etc. (or even benign) people who post here on wrong planet.

I agree with what Fnord said, which I often but by no means always do. We definitely disagree on some things. I don't have a problem disagreeing with reasonable people. In fact, it can be quite interesting.

WP can be a little repetitive over time, with different people discussing the same issues that have come up before. For this reason I can drift away for a while before drifting back, and I think others do too.

bikehard_12 maybe you could find more you would like to talk about in interest areas of the forum, I don't know. Maybe the people here could start threads on the things they would prefer to talk about. Be the change you want to see and all that.

Just a few thoughts.

Yes, I sometimes find this forum negative. But other forums are pretty bad and verge on insanity.

I'm only here because for the past couple of years I've been in a strange funk (although this funk has spanned my entire life). After completing my education I have been isolated for quite a while, and now I'm trying to reintegrate into normal society, but it is proving to be quite difficult. I feel like an outsider on this forum, and I refrain from posting. I read the threads mainly. I only contribute here and there to pass the time. I think once I'm in a new career my posting will stop.

I have quite a few problems, and feel like I'm a bit lower functioning.

I've come to that point in my life where I'm actually trying to help myself, instead of allowing my asocial nature, routines and rituals to dictate my life like they've been doing since I was little. I don't think I can beat my nature, but I can sure compromise with it and try to improve things.

I am aware though of how futile it is to post this on a forum.

I think it's because it's the internet. I've noticed when you get a bunch of people together, in person, with similar issues, they have a much better time. It FEELS much more constructive.

I don't make many friends on here. I guess my purpose on this site was to learn, be listened to, listen to others, and to make friends. Now, I've made some friends, but I have an urge to physically interact with people, too. This urge isn't satisfied here, no matter how many online friends I make, even though I appreciate them.

Because of this, I feel a dullness to the site often. Not only that, but I do think a new web design would help.

I do, however, enjoy the debates here. Whenever I feel dull, I look at them.

Agreed-- WP is significantly less screwed-up than other forums. Particularly places where hormonal women congregate.

I guess it gets so negative because a lot of us are depressed; positivity tends to be painful for depressed people (but then, a concrete reason to be positive is just what a depressed Aspie needs). Very confusing.

I'd love to find more success stories-- but I guess they're not out there because it is considered shameless self-promotion to publicize your successes. Still, I could use some. Fail stories are starting to bog me down majorly-- FAIL in relationships, FAIL in jobs, FAIL in life, FAIL in parenting...

...I get thinking that my successes haven't even really been mine-- that they were flukes, or through someone else's effort.

Statistics, statistics, statistics.

Yet I knew, personally, three Aspies who managed to build lives (some of them even happy). I've seen lots of people with ADHD build lives-- one of my husband's coworkers at his last job, the best teacher I ever had, a couple of other people.

Yet the statistics say FAIL, FAIL, AUTOMATIC FAIL-- and that is what I end up believing.

HELP!! !!

Forget the statistics. I'm not a number on a chart, and you are not one, too.

so why are you here op ?

Gotta be honest, I understand. It's kind of depressing to come back again and again and not really find many success stories, especially amongst older members. Makes someone younger like me wonder whether I actually do have any chance.