Why do people on this forum always side with women?

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So I can't go after people I find attractive and I won't go for people I find unattractive and fake. So who do I go after

I think we'd probably have to know you in real life to really know what the problem is and how to help you out. All we can do is give suggestions based on what you tell us. But I'm sure there's a lot more to it, and only someone who observes you, and the things that are happening in your life is going to have a clear picture of the situation.

Go after a girl who you fancy and desire.

Wait, where?? Its always the opposite here

There isn't different levels of attraction to me. I don't see pretty girls and prettier Girls. I find them all pretty much equally pretty. Then there's the few women I don't find attractive.

Historically, I've seen a small book worth of suggestions that might be worth considering or might help, but i've never seen a reply to one that said 'hm, i'll try that' or 'good idea'. I've only ever seen 'no, that won't work', 'no, that's not the problem'...followed by 'it's hopeless, i'll always be single'.

Have any suggestions ever seemed worth trying? If not, what about trying to not look for anyone right now? If it is the source of your misery as you've said, then why not stop it? Take a break from looking or comparing yourself to what you believe you're supposed to be with a self-induced deadline and just let you be who you are, as a single person, and find and enjoy the things you like to do.

Essentially, let it go for now. Pause focusing on what you think you're supposed to be to meet someone else's criteria and just focus on being what meets your criteria as a person you enjoy spending time with - be it with friends, or even by yourself. You have a lot to offer someone when you do meet her, but putting your happiness on hold and fully in the hands of another is a tremendous amount of pressure for both of you.

Two problems

1. I'm not a super Christian where as most christian women are. They'd probably consider me a heathen or evil. I don't attend church haven't in 10 years. I don't read the bible constantly. I have sexual interests. I'm. It waiting til marriage.

2. They all cost lots of money and even if you pay many people still can't message you back unless they also pay. It's just another dating scam like any other specific group dating site. Only paid site even worth joining is probably eharmony. I can't afford to pay $20-40 a month for any dating site. Okcuoid and pof are the only two free sites worth using due to their population. If these people were actually interested in helping said specific groups they'd be free sites and use ad revenue. Even if they had to charge. $2 a month would be good enough I mean you're talking $2 times thousands possible millions of people. They'd still make a good profit.

Im registered on a bunch of sites but only active on okcupids and pof, because on all the other sites you can only browse. On eharmony you can't even browse without paying money. They only let people join for free to grow their populations to trick people into paying. At least okcupid and pof actually want to help people try to find relationships.

You need to under stand I've been looking for s relationship for 17 years only 3 of which been on this site. Most the advice I've tried. This job was suppose to help me met girls and make it better, it didn't either.

The source of my misery is being alone, look don't look, I'll still be alone and misery. Looking at least has some hope and gives me some happiness even if it's just brief bursts of this girl might like me. I'm not meant to be single not everyone is. Imagine if your one great passion is playing music and you go blind, do you give up or find s way to play music blind? Well my passion is people and love. It's always been what iced wanted since I was a kid, I'm always happier with people. I know people who are happier alone and away from people. Oddly they end up in relationships and unhappy.

It's not like I don't do other stuff or I've stopped all life. I keep going, no other choice. But alone nothing will ever bring me complete happiness I'll still be sad and cry every night, I could win the lottery tomorrow, buy everything I've ever wanted, travel the world, erc id still be sad and cry every night, none of that no thing is worth anything without someone to share it with at the end of the day.

Last edited by sly279 on 20 Feb 2016, 2:49 am, edited 2 times in total.

At least I have some ausie shave soap coming Monday.

I'm sorry that the thing that you most desire has so far been out of your reach. It's been that way for me as well. I've had a lifetime of unfulfilled hopes and dreams. I just keep going, though. I try new things and see if doing things differently will get me what I want from life.

It hasn't worked so far. But I'm going to keep trying. Otherwise my options are to give up and accept a life of misery, or die. I'm not willing to accept a life of misery, or to die yet. So trying is the only option left.

I wish I had answers for you.

I haven't given up hope yet, I just don't know how much longer I can hang out. I see kids at 16 or younger having more relationships them me, this guy I play with is 17 and been in a relationship for 10 months and his gf lives with him. Just s out everyone at work and all my customers have relationships. It sucks seeing happy couples come out and kiss and hold hands and be playful.

If I'd given up I'd stop going to this min wage job. I thought it'd help maybe but I knew it wouldn't matter, i dont know what else to do this is the best I can do and it's not good enough I guess. I've tried and tried and tried, I did everything right exactly like society says. I went to college I got good grades I even was on the deans list and could joined the honor society. Life's slipping away from me. I'm getting worse. In a few years it won't matter if some lady does want to date me it'll be too late. I dont know what to do :'( I may already be too gone.

The only rational reason I see for paying to use a dating site is ... to make sure those with the privilege of messaging you have also paid for it. It seems to be profitable to set up a platform where people can be confident they won't be dealing with bums.

Things like this are why i say you have a lot to offer.



This though worries me. For any girl, she'll have such a load of pressure placed on her...she determines your confidence, your joy, and even your lifespan? What if she's not the one, for whatever reason, maybe the next one you meet will be. But in the meantime, she'll be so messed up trying to not hurt you while trying to say this isn't meant to be... If any girl sensed that, she would very likely cut out long before she got attached, simply to protect herself and potentially protect you - which completely backfires as it then prevents anyone from potentially getting closer.

From what you have said, i get the sense that the girl for you will be very compassionate. But it's that very characteristic that would make her instinctively avoid such a situation.

Oh indeed. It's why eharmony is geared towards middle class people and why hockey guy here stated he had such good luck because there's way more women on it then men. Which would be great if you or me were middle class men.

Life would be easier if I was a superficial person who gained all happiness from objects. I arplresdy have all the objects I really need. I'm staring to collect shave soaps from various nations now. I can't travel but I can experience what it's like to shave in other nations. But I already have plenty of soaps to keep me content for years.

But that's not true, she won't determine any of that. She'll just complete the puzzle and allow me to be me. If she wasn't the one attest I'd have had that month to year relationship and know that at least some woman could loved me and maybe others could. It's the teenage year relationships that built men's confidence in dating they use today. Confidence is based on past good experiences, no past experiences = no confidence in that area.


Don't most good people try to avoid hiring their by/gf while breaking up?
What if I'm the one who ends it because it's not meant to be? I'm not desperate.
All guys have a load or pressure placed on them when dating any woman, we walk on egg shells all the time. Anything we say can be and likely will be used against us possible years after it happen lol
We have to be careful what we say, showing emotions, making mistakes, less they claim we lack confidence. So I'd say it'd be fair. Besides if hardly ever talk to a gf if I had one. Gotta keep distant and seem unloving after all. No gifts , limited cuddling.

Gf would probably only be 1/8 of my joy. I have shaving, video game, shooting, YouTube, tv shows, work, etc. k really don't see how wanting to have someone to spend 2 hours with s few days a week and then cuddle to sleep with is so bad. She gets the same and I fight through anxiety to go to mass groups of people with her unless she's a gamer too in which case we spend time playing our selective games apart. Or she does whatever her hobbies are.
I'd mainly like someone to talk to about our days while cuddling before sleep. Maybe cuddle while watching tv shows quietly then discuss the show after. And eventually sex together. As is I'd probably only see them once a week if that until we started living together. Probably text randomly though out the day, I only have 45 minutes during work with access to my phone much of which is spent quickly eating.,

I don't feel I'm asking for much

You said you made a pact that one way or the other, you wouldn't be single at 35. Meaning if you are, you will kill yourself.
Did i misunderstand?