Wanting to prove my detractors wrong

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From what I have read here Marknis has had a lot of crap done to him and he has every right to complain. Obviously other people may not want to read about it so it's better if Marknis has a private place where he can air out his frustrations and grieviances. I would think this is a good example of having a journal to write in without the outside world constantly judging and telling him to 'get better'.

Honestly, I have to wonder if a few of your problems with people stem from issues with comprehension.

The margarita post for example. As it's already been pointed out, that was a metaphor. You didn't understand it, and you got upset. It makes me wonder how often that happens, where someone says or does something and you've taken it the wrong way and gotten upset over it.

You've mentioned before about how people scowl at you. I have to wonder if you're not seeing people just with their regular face, and taken it as being a scowl, when in reality it's not - people don't normally walk around with big smiles on their faces all the time.

Some people who are hyper sensitive take things the wrong way a lot. My mother for example takes things the wrong way a lot and it's because she's depressed and she has this persecution complex. It's annoying for everyone around her.

I don't know. It's just a thought.

Because quite frankly, women do not deserve you. Go back and re-read your posts; they're virtually all fixated on your sexual frustration; your ideal of help is people "offering their daughters or sisters in marriage to me", as if women were some inanimate object like a second-hand blender; there for no other purpose than to satiate your need for margaritas. You don't really want a relationship as much as someone else's body to masturbate yourself with, and nobody deserves to be subjected to that.
And loose the self-pity. You'll never get a date with that; people find it repellent.

Now, I didn't make it in time in the other thread, since you locked it.

But you said marknis, that the problem was that women in your culture don't make the first move.. Let me tell you something, there is no culture on planet earth where it is the norm that women initiate..

By KHADIJA AL-FATHI
AL ARABIYA CASABLANCA

In conservative societies, it is always expected of men to take the initiative as far as marriage proposals are concerned and girls who decide to reverse the situation are likely to be criticized for breaking a long-standing tradition. The remarkable rise in the number of women proposing to men in Morocco has shed more light on the phenomenon and drove many to analyze the reasons for its prevalence.

“I proposed to my husband,” Naeema al-Mansouri told Al Arabiya.
Mansouri recounted the time she met the woman that later became her mother-in-law and offered to marry her son.

“We were in a wedding and I met her there. Another woman asked her how her son was and she said he found a job and was looking for a wife. I told her that I can make a good wife for her son and that I am good at cooking and household chores.”

The woman, Mansouri added, told her that she likes her and that she has no problem with her marrying her son, but said he has to decide when he gets to see her.

“I met him and he liked me. He said he would marry me provided that we live with his mother who would feel lonely if we lived away from her. I agreed and now she is like a mother to me.”

Hend, a woman in her thirties, first proposed to her future husband jokingly.
“I told him I am willing to bring a bunch of flowers and ask him to marry me,” she told Al Arabiya.

Hend added that he asked her whether she was serious and she told him that “the man who refuses to divorce his wife when she asks for it is not a man and so is the man who refuses to marry a woman when she asks for it.”

“Of course I am a man,” he replied then went to visit her parents with their family.

Hassan al-Haithami, editor-in-chief of the Justice and Development Party’s website, does not mind marrying a woman who proposes to him as long as she has all the traits he needs in a wife.

“There is nothing wrong with a woman asking a man to marry her. These are feelings and you cannot control them and decide who says what. There is nothing insulting for a woman to do that. In fact, I find it very brave,” he told Al Arabiya.

Rukaia Zayed, a housewife and a mother of four, disagreed to this breach of traditions.

“If a woman proposes to my and he agreed, I will disown him forever,” she told Al Arabiya.

Zayed explained that in this case she will discover what a weak personality her son has and how indifferent he is to the social and family norms in which he was brought up.

For sociologist and university professor Abdul Samad al-Dialmi, the rise in the number of women proposing to men is part of a female campaign to promote the principles of gender equality.

“Moroccan women are proving that they will not surrender to spinsterhood and that she has the right to tell a man if she likes him and wants to marry him because they are equal,” he told Al Arabiya.

Dialmi objected to regarding this action on the part of women as too daring and argued that society has to admit that this is one of women’s rights.
Abdul Razek al-Jay, professor of Sunna at Rabat University and member of the Scientific Circle for Islamic Studies, said that men are usually the ones who propose to women because this is what tradition has always dictated, yet there is nothing wrong with it from the religious point of view.

“Prophet Mohamed’s first wife Khadija was the one who proposed to him, yet this has not been part of the Sunnah because it is not socially common,” he told Al Arabiya.

Jay explained that Islam is the religion of equality and that is why it is the woman’s right to propose to a man if she finds in him the traits she seeks.
“The only problem would be if the woman proposes to the man because of how rich or handsome he is and without paying attention to his morals. She will in this case have fallen into the trap of imitating Mexican and Turkish soap operas that have lately invaded the Arab world,” he concluded.

(Translated from Arabic by Sonia Farid)

How many years of endless complaining should people read before they're allowed to offer advice that someone consider working towards solutions to their problems instead of just venting?

Zero, IMO. Whether someone gripes for the very first time, or the 10th year in a row, it's always appropriate to encourage them to work towards resolving their issues, overcoming what constrains them, and moving forward with their lives.

No one is simply telling him to "get better." Instead they're being MUCH more helpful and constructive than that & suggesting ways how he can try to get better. Then he ignores anything that doesn't agree with his depressive view of things or isn't a pat-on-the-head bit of sympathy and carries on changing exactly nothing (afaik) and then, unsurprisingly, ending up with the exact same results. (what a shocker!) No one wants to see him continue to suffer, so, they offer their positive input & advice in hopes that he might make an effort to do something that might make him think and feel better. He ignores it or discounts it as valueless, says he doesn't think it can help him, tries nothing new or different, and carries on complaining. It's gone on for so long that people are getting frustrated with it and calling him out for his self destructive behaviour. Hopefully he's learning a LOT from these threads the past couple days and might just do something, anything, that helps him actually heal, learn, and grow instead of keeping himself in the exact same place of darkness.

I'll be honest, Marknis is looking for dating advice in the wrong place and tends to have the same topic over and over. However, much of the non-dating advice he receives on his issues is obviously not working. I've been in a similar situation to him and telling him to 'cheer up' simply doesn't work. This particular part of WP is where a person simply needs to vent and Marknis obviously needs to vent. I made the suggestion that Marknis needs to write his stuff down in a journal outside of WP where someone else won't make a comment to him. I'm not a therapist by training but I would think that someone who has a persistent depressed mood isn't helped by lecturing him about his attitude.

He's not being lectured about his attitude.

He's being told he's putting the cart before the horse. That he has to successfully treat his depression before he can expect to date.

I would think this is a good example of having a journal to write in without the outside world constantly judging and telling him to 'get better'.

That's sort of what I said but some of the advice given to him is more or less along the lines of 'think more happy thoughts' and that simply doesn't work.

I think one of the biggest mistakes people make on the internet is assuming what other people are capable of. It's possible Marknis is genuinely unable to take on board the advice people give.

The internet has this flaw: all we get is text on forums. Most communication is done by body language, facial expression and tone of voice. We don't know how Marknis comes across. Among autistic people there is a range from people who appear normal to people who have deadpan voices and no expression on their face.

There is also a range of comprehension.

So really it would be helpful to remember you don't know Marknis well enough to make authoritative comments about him.

From what I have read here Marknis has had a lot of crap done to him and he has every right to complain. Obviously other people may not want to read about it so it's better if Marknis has a private place where he can air out his frustrations and grieviances. I would think this is a good example of having a journal to write in without the outside world constantly judging and telling him to 'get better'.

Yes, I have indeed and my detractors keep contradicting themselves by claiming they hate my threads as well as saying they don't want to give me attention but still post anyway. Piobaire also blew my text out of proportion thinking I wanted people to offer women to me and that was not the point at all. I was telling him how he was full of s**t for assuming I have rednecks and general Bible Belters giving me high fives when both consider me to be the scum of the Earth. Even if they did offer women to me, I would turn them down because they would only be redneck and general Bible Belt women. goldfish can't get this into his brain at all but that's his problem, not mine. He's even admitted to me he's never had a relationship so he has no business trying to tell me how to live my life.

It has been a few weeks since you started this thread Marky Marknis - what have you been doing to prove these people wrong, and how's it going?

I am not letting people like goldfish tell me how to live my life. Anyone who tells me how "messed up" I am but claims he is trying to help me I refuse to ever look up to.

I am not letting people like goldfish tell me how to live my life. Anyone who tells me how "messed up" I am but claims he is trying to help me I refuse to ever look up to.