I really am a cripple, you know.

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...I'll say first that, at present, I hardly read " real " books anymore . Reasons for this at least partly are physical ! While we discuss this let me hark back to the recent past, when I was spending a lot of money on that motel room because it had become available to me from the NYS lawyer (To be precise, his - I think - father was my parents' lawyer during their lives,. now, how it was described to me, their firm - if the lawyer my parents dealt with was Smith and the one I deal with is likewise, let's say the firm is named Smith, Smith, and Jones - now no longer does personal law but has stayed with the relation with my parents regarding thrir estate even now.. I have never heard it described by anybody who knows as a pro bono relationship, I don't know.) after's Bruh's death , and I was dealing with the really extreme bloating - I was in the motel then. Then I left for the fiasco in Patterson, then came back, back-and-forth being in the hospital and HL , it's the former this minute.
Frankly, at least one contributing factor to my not reading real books much now is that there often isn't enough light to read comfortably ! By contrast, these phones are at least lit from behind, and they're generally easy to read! Even going back to being in motel rooms in the Nineties - Cheap rooms tend not to have strong enough light for me to read comfortably!

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...I've neglected posting here for a while, but, jumping to now...I am out of the hospital. Actually, I appealed them trying to discharge me on Tues,, wanting to get a little more, especially, practice walking on my legs, not being in l'hopital bed 22+ hours a day. That was valid. I also wanted to time my discharge right ~ and leave in the morning, so that I could go to my mail/HL place and see my mail - Now I'm out, Bbriefly, I have no money, really - and I am in PAIN! from my bad back and none of my pain pills!

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...Actually, I am fully HL now. And I have only change, no cash or money in my card, I believe. None. And my back HURTS ! And I have no bedding now, I'll sleep outside sans that .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Isn't there someplace you can go and get something sorted?

...No:( . I am in pain now , my back...out of the hospital ~ And remember, I am completely HL, have nothing but a coupla bucks change money, have eaten all my food ~ Have no tarp or any other sleeping thing, this morning at a place I slept at a cop came along and have me a non-filled out summons for being in a restricted area, he said next one would be a court date summons ~ Uh. Maybe it'll turn to jail again.
The lawyer in NYS has completely stopped sending me money, even though I've told him my problems, and apparently was told untrue stories about me by hospital SWs that made him cut me off ~ I has been, LITERALLY,a month-and-a-half or so, the Patterson disater ate up my money - And, that thing of my SSDI card, though, allegedly, a new card w/money loaded on to me iis on its way to me ~ It will take like a week-and-a-half to reach my HL mailbox place (which I have to pay for the bus to get to and back) ~ I have also had a long back-burnred offer from one of thoose " Let us buy your old assets " places involving lots of money, but I would hvae t go arounndand ready, and even have notarized, the form they sent me ~ I can't do that now ! The NYS lawyer completely cutting me off (It is money meant for me , remember)...
My bank account had oonly the required five bucks to keep it open the last. My storage place is unpaid, and there's an additional problem too ~ Would I lose all the reading/stuff/clothes that are in there? I can't go up there unless I have money ! Maybe I'll lose everything there (The clothes I have on now are all I've got, bar what's there). Maybe the person who resented me hbuying comics would be happy then, cheer " Ha ha hooraayy! You deserved it! " .

You are in a desperate situation. As you will have knowledge of various hospital social workers in Santa Cruz by now, have a careful think about which one was the most willing to help you in the past, go to his or her workplace, ask for pen and paper so that you can leave a brief note stating only that your situation has become desperate as you currently have no means of obtaining even basic necessities such as food, mobile phone use or shelter. As you have no phone now and can't be contacted directly, let him/her know that the best way to contact you will be to leave a message at the desk at her workplace and you will collect it from there.


Keep your message to the point and include only the absolute bare essentials in your message, they will already know the general picture. Remember to give your ID details though, so that your records can be viewed.

I see no other option for you at this stage from what you have written. Good luck. Thank the social worker in a later note if he or she is willing and able to act to at least find you temporary shelter or whatever. Thanks goes a long way and is not forgotten.

...Thank you. I do have a phone, BTW, O never said I didn't. Ibam here at 1:11 AM, there is WiFi downtowb where I'm panhandling, I am listening to a 1990s cast album recording of " Guys And Dolls " that I had on CD then, the phone's still juiced. It's a ' bank holiday " Monday, Veterans' Day - Is it Decoration Day in NZ?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

There are huge public events planned here for 11/11/2018. On a per capita basis, the toll of New Zealand soldiers during the Great War was the most horrific of all the allies. It is taken very seriously here, because the immense loss of men had a huge impact on such a small country (even smaller at the time of course). This is also why film maker Sir Peter Jackson personally helped to finance at great expense the restoration and technical improvements of real footage taken behind allied lines during the Great War, and the outstanding result of his work on this has garnered huge international acclaim.

People can now watch real footage of events and interaction from the allied trenches and bases in a way thought impossible until Jackson achieved it with his vast technical expertise and resources.

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2018/n ... t-grow-old

...OK, it is " Decoration Day " there? I think it was til' the Fifties here.
I am finishing up my time at the easier library computer, left little time for this.
On a certain level, " having to swim " is a relief, after the dtasis/treading water of these past months??. The NYS lawyer still seems to be 100% refusing me . I do have pain, I would like the pot pain pills (some are CBD-only, IIRC), you have to pay cash only and it's a far bus ride away to my store. Did I mention that the hospital didn't give me a diabetes or CHR pills prescription? WTF ? I do have back pain .
I suppose the NYS lawyer's greatest probable motivation for his cutting me off is a " stern uncle " feeling - more than a more illegal/unethical reason. But, I have mentioned the pain, the bank, the storage, the eye-doctor appointment I canceled...nothing's worked yet .

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

It is called Armistice Day in New Zealand, and honoured at 11am on the 11th day of the 11th month. This year it is generally referred to as the Centenary of the end of the Great War.

...Thank you. I am sitting here on " Main Street " (Pacific Avenue) fixing to call in 911 to go to the hospital one more time. I think I have justification
After writing my last, U went to where Food Not Bombs gas a free veggie meal. I got some. I also got a free tarp, which I need !
Then, I started to feel a poop coming out of Mr. I walked two blocks down to a public restroom, I didn't know whether I'd throw away my only underwear, leaving me in my only pants - and I already felt that poop had gotten out if my underwear and on to my legs . When I finally pulled my pants down in the WC, it was worse than I anticipated. I decided to not even try and pull my pants off (and try to wash my legs a little, which I prepared to do, getting some water into empty 20-ounce bottles I carry for washing/drinking, but go, pull my pants up ' wash my hands and call 911 with my dirty bottom part unchanged. I am sitting here on a bench preparig to do that, in my very soiled pants and undies
I also, last nite, fell when walking to a sleeping place on carless wee-smalks Pacific. At the time, no bandages, poured water on it to clean it. It did seem okay in the morning. The possible worry of some poop getting into the wound does occur to me, though it seems firmly fresh scabbed over.
In my unchanged pants, do I smell? I would guess...These pants were themselves gotten from the hospital last visit, replacing the fairly soiled outpants I was wearing. My underwear was clean ones I'd bought when I had money.
Maybe not a hospitalisation - But, at least, could I get new pants, maybe a second set of pants if I can't have underpants, and maybe a shower? The second seems less likely if I'm not admitted.
Let's also remember the lack of CHF and diabetes pills (plus, of what things I was prescribed, several turned out not to be covered by my Medical/Medicare/Medicaid since I didn't get them, I actually did write to the worker for that SSDI card and she said she didn't do medical and I think I've lost and not replaced card/s oroof over the years), ut occured to me it might get me to such a level I'd be hospital fare. I think I ate " better ", on average, these pist-hosptal hours than I did before and I certainly didn't set up the fall or the diareea And there's the back pain
I think I have a valid reason to call 911.
Oh, BTW, I suppose NZ usage follows what I believe is UK usage where " pants " in fact means what we would call " underwear "? What, then, is our " underwear "?

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Unfortunately ASS-P I was unable to continue reading your reply due to too much information on a banned issue.

I realise it may be a very long time since you read the Wrong Planet rules, so here is the rule you need to take particular care to remember and strictly observe from now on:


Conduct
-----------
The following activities are unacceptable on WrongPlanet:

1. Posting offensive language, comments, video, or images.
Unacceptable content includes swearing; racist, sexist, homophobic language; behavior intended to provoke or belittle other members; violent or sexually demeaning content; sexual fetish; and discussion of excretory function. Posting graphic images or videos of people or animals being harmed is prohibited.

...I was not trying to be kinky or vulgar! I used general euphemistic, not naughty, word/s. It was not the whole of the post - far from it - and I was giving information about my situation - to ' justify ' my calling the ER!

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

Have you been admitted?

...Yes, I was. I am writing from there now. I think I thought it might be getting some new pants, maybe a shower, perhaps some, anyway, clearing up the perscriptions problem, maybe staying in the walting room all night and getting a taxi voucher for a taxi back town in the morning. which has happened there before.
I was admitted, I left the undies and pants to be thrown away (I'll have to get new, charity, pants from their amount of such - Presumably they'll have underwear, if not I'd ask for some second pants to wear underneath as underwear surrogates - I have used their charity before - Didn't I say this above? - the thrown-away pants had been that, IIRC). They said that I might - There still has not been a diagnosis of that, now at precisely 6;00 PM (waited till the clock changed do I could say that !)(now it's 6:01) - have C-Difficil Toxin, C-Dif for short, an infectious dhiareea which I'd triggered by antibiotics, it could be a/the reason for my past pooping problems.
Relief from the back pain, simply cuz' I'm lying down, is good for me now
Carrying around the two admittedly sorta excessive two reusable grocery bags of stuff I have is back-straining . They're breaking anyway. . You know, if I didn't/did say this, not only did I not receive CHF or diabetes prescriptions when I left last Monday, but of the four things I did receive pres riptione for, I only got one, the CVS determined that only that one was Medical/Care/Aid-covered, maybe some records were lost, maybe some lost cards were never replaced.
I wrote the SSDI worker since I still am friendly with her to see if she could help, she said medical was n't her niche.
Anything else aside, perhaps being here will let me vamp tiil yhe Winter Shelter here opens on the 15th IIRC if nothing else. If the NYS lawyer is going to continue to cut me off I just don't know . 2 bucks plus in change now, no paper, presumably no fosh left in debit card - Weird story, I can still put money in it and use it but I can't access the thing to check how much I have in it.
If the NYS lawyer keeps cutting me off from find e tire having sent much before Patterson but believe this day is seven weeks since I left for yhere - I just don't know . Maybe writing him and telling him of this will help. Maybe if I can get whatever hospital social worker I haven't contacted here yet to call him will help ? He keeps saying ' get (the social workers) to get you housing "...Well, they have not offered me any housing (exluding bach places like Patterson) here, none whatsoever? I only really contact these JOSPITAL social workers when I am in the HOSPITAL - I have to attend to the bank/the storage placthr pain pills or disaster will enddir? Maybe this will impress him?:( ...........

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!

...That mesnt above, it's seven weeks ago IIR. that I left for Patterson and I last received money from NYS before that. He has sat on my requests . I have meant to tell s fill version of the Patterson story but not now

_________________
Renal kidney failure, congestive heart failure, COPD. Can't really get up from a floor position unhelped anymore:-(.
One of the walking wounded ~ SMASHED DOWN by life and age, now prevented from even expressing myself! SOB.
" Oh, no! First you have to PROVE you deserve to go away to college! " ~ My mother, 1978 (the heyday of Andy Gibb and Player). I would still like to go.
My life destroyed by Thorazine and Mellaril - and rape - and the Psychiatric/Industrial Complex. SOB:-(! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !! !!