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Life with AS is a living hell

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Marknis
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22 Feb 2019, 2:45 pm

Claradoon wrote:
Marknis wrote:
The fact I see even gothic girls dating hip-hop thugs who punch them in the face and tell them gothic culture is "gay" makes me not want to live past my 31st birthday.

Please try not to believe that - most of my generation didn't want to live past 30, and that was in 1960s. Turns out it's okay when you get there.


If my 31st birthday passes and things aren't better, I am probably going to lose it.



kraftiekortie
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22 Feb 2019, 2:56 pm

Not many Gothic girls date hip-hop guys who hit them. That's the truth of the matter.



Marknis
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23 Feb 2019, 2:20 am

I was told women got tired of the "bad boys" after high school or atleast when they hit their 30's but I still see a lot of them dating jerks and they still refuse to make the first move.



IsabellaLinton
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23 Feb 2019, 6:49 am

Marknis wrote:
I was told women got tired of the "bad boys" after high school or atleast when they hit their 30's but I still see a lot of them dating jerks and they still refuse to make the first move.


Image

Please excuse the foul language. ^
No one really wants to date a bad boy, Marknis. Don't fall for the propaganda.


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goldfish21
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23 Feb 2019, 3:16 pm

For those who's AS is a living hell, what are you doing to affect change upon that daily? What are you doing today to ensure that tomorrow is a little bit better & the future beyond that ever better?

I ask as I see no point in idly waiting for time to pass only to say "See, I still don't like this much," when we all have the option of doing little things every single day that make ourselves, and our lives, a little bit better.


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Marknis
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23 Feb 2019, 3:50 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I was told women got tired of the "bad boys" after high school or atleast when they hit their 30's but I still see a lot of them dating jerks and they still refuse to make the first move.


Image

Please excuse the foul language. ^
No one really wants to date a bad boy, Marknis. Don't fall for the propaganda.


I just wonder if I still have time or if it has run out and I just can't accept it. Before I graduated high school, I was told getting a job and going to college would get me a girlfriend. Both things were slogs; my job still is and everytime I've tried college has been a slog. I just do tedious and mind numbing things while others are zipping ahead of me. Same with the gym and the times I was made to go to church.



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25 Feb 2019, 12:08 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Not many Gothic girls date hip-hop guys who hit them. That's the truth of the matter.


Surely this wasn’t meant to be—given the seriousness of domestic abuse—but it really sounds funny


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Marknis
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25 Feb 2019, 12:45 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Not many Gothic girls date hip-hop guys who hit them. That's the truth of the matter.


Surely this wasn’t meant to be—given the seriousness of domestic abuse—but it really sounds funny


I've actually been told I am only compatible with "plain" women as well as "church" women but the ones I've met don't share any common interests with me nor do I find them attractive. My older brother would give me flack for it and would say things like "Girls who aren't getting sex want it the most!", "You'll get your 'pee-pee' rubbed!" (Yes, he really said that), and "She's a good Christian girl!" but was he dating any of them? :roll:



Marknis
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28 Feb 2019, 3:34 pm

I am feeling dreadful for my 31st birthday in August.



goldfish21
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02 Mar 2019, 8:37 pm

So what are you going to change and do differently between now and August so that you can at least feel neutral about your 31st birthday and maybe be able to just look at it as one day older than the previous day vs dwelling on being another year older?


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02 Mar 2019, 8:53 pm

Marknis wrote:
The fact I see even gothic girls dating hip-hop thugs who punch them in the face and tell them gothic culture is "gay" makes me not want to live past my 31st birthday.

I didn't even think those two subcultures were even compatible 8O For the record, oddly enough, I'm as equally attracted to gothic/punk/emo/skater girls as I am sporty/preppy/cheerleader-type girls. Identity crisis much?? :P



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03 Mar 2019, 12:06 pm

Marknis wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Not many Gothic girls date hip-hop guys who hit them. That's the truth of the matter.


Surely this wasn’t meant to be—given the seriousness of domestic abuse—but it really sounds funny


I've actually been told I am only compatible with "plain" women as well as "church" women but the ones I've met don't share any common interests with me nor do I find them attractive. My older brother would give me flack for it and would say things like "Girls who aren't getting sex want it the most!", "You'll get your 'pee-pee' rubbed!" (Yes, he really said that), and "She's a good Christian girl!" but was he dating any of them? :roll:



Ew i wish u hadn’t written that


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Marknis
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03 Mar 2019, 4:38 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
Marknis wrote:
blooiejagwa wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Not many Gothic girls date hip-hop guys who hit them. That's the truth of the matter.


Surely this wasn’t meant to be—given the seriousness of domestic abuse—but it really sounds funny


I've actually been told I am only compatible with "plain" women as well as "church" women but the ones I've met don't share any common interests with me nor do I find them attractive. My older brother would give me flack for it and would say things like "Girls who aren't getting sex want it the most!", "You'll get your 'pee-pee' rubbed!" (Yes, he really said that), and "She's a good Christian girl!" but was he dating any of them? :roll:



Ew i wish u hadn’t written that


It angers me so much that it was him who got all the girls at school chasing him and he's also passed on his genes despite his juvenilistic behavior.



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03 Mar 2019, 9:39 pm

I’m honestly really tired of writing to you about this but
You need to find someone who is not a d!ckhead (a lady i know said my ex lawyer looks like a d!ckhead so now i know what it means in context) to be your mentor or role model

He’s your brother (know him well)
and has achieved several things (it seems) that you want to achieve


Therefore u must be somewhat in awe or admiration of him

despite also being angry or annoyed by his indecent/obnoxious mentality.


But.
He doesn’t sound helpful, nor does he understand ur struggles

since fr him it’s been as easy as being natural

because he was born with the ability to socialize n sense what ppl want n to get on in life

(d!ckheads get by because the things the world values superficially is what they have n they are socially and practically capable enougH)


What you need is a non d-head who still has achieved the things u want (gf, family?)

If you cqn come across anyone like that then u can focus on figuring out how their mind n lifestyle works n what u can learn to do or ask advice

If u constantly focus on the unfairness of d-heads getting by better than you,
u eventually keep trying to figure out the secret n wallow in the depression that comes
Also if u think about d-heads long enough n focus on them n their standards n words,
U eventually become one


The mind becomes whatever we feed it even if we think we are ‘against’ it if we mull over smthing it feeds our mind

If u fed ur mind (paid attention to) ppl that are not d-head types, your mind will absorb their messages

Bcuz srsly the moments i was at my worst towards others (ie showing traits i don’t condone(

were after long periods of mulling over bad ppl
Slipped into their standards/mentality


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Antrax
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03 Mar 2019, 10:12 pm

serpentari wrote:
maybe its hell, but i am a demon... so home, sweet home xD


I like this thought process.


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Marknis
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11 Mar 2019, 11:59 am

blooiejagwa wrote:
I’m honestly really tired of writing to you about this but
You need to find someone who is not a d!ckhead (a lady i know said my ex lawyer looks like a d!ckhead so now i know what it means in context) to be your mentor or role model

He’s your brother (know him well)
and has achieved several things (it seems) that you want to achieve


Therefore u must be somewhat in awe or admiration of him

despite also being angry or annoyed by his indecent/obnoxious mentality.


But.
He doesn’t sound helpful, nor does he understand ur struggles

since fr him it’s been as easy as being natural

because he was born with the ability to socialize n sense what ppl want n to get on in life

(d!ckheads get by because the things the world values superficially is what they have n they are socially and practically capable enougH)


What you need is a non d-head who still has achieved the things u want (gf, family?)

If you cqn come across anyone like that then u can focus on figuring out how their mind n lifestyle works n what u can learn to do or ask advice

If u constantly focus on the unfairness of d-heads getting by better than you,
u eventually keep trying to figure out the secret n wallow in the depression that comes
Also if u think about d-heads long enough n focus on them n their standards n words,
U eventually become one


The mind becomes whatever we feed it even if we think we are ‘against’ it if we mull over smthing it feeds our mind

If u fed ur mind (paid attention to) ppl that are not d-head types, your mind will absorb their messages

Bcuz srsly the moments i was at my worst towards others (ie showing traits i don’t condone(

were after long periods of mulling over bad ppl
Slipped into their standards/mentality


I will say he doesn't boast to me anymore and has actually wished he could trade places with me.